walletss Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 One thing that I have noticed about Thai women is their distrust of other Thai women. Show a picture of your Thai girlfriend to another Thai woman and more often than not you will receive a negative response. Not uncommon are remarks like, ? I can see in her eyes that she is not honest or jai dum? Introduce two Thai women face to face and more often than not you will find that they don?t like each other. I recently had an argument with A Thai woman about an ex girlfriend. Despite the fact that I knew my exgf for some years, the other Thai friend wanted to know if I ever met her family, went to see if she really worked where she said she did, and if I went to her house. I found this quite annoying. Have any others here experienced similar problems? It?s a real downer when trying to get a group of friends together for a social night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elef Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 No, and they don't trust men either - thai or farang! "All generalizations are false, including this one." (Mark Twain) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 Have noticed this as well...frankly, I think it is all women, not just Thais. Put a group of people together, and the first one to make a negative comment about one of the women will be another woman... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 walletss, "I found this quite annoying. Have any others here experienced similar problems? It?s a real downer when trying to get a group of friends together for a social night." I have many friends in Thailand with Thai wives and girlfriends. We socialize as often as we can. Our group of ladies all seem to enjoy each others company and get along great. While we gents chat they cook, and eat, and drink and laugh themselves silly, always seeming to be having a great time. Some of them often call each other from time to time to chat, set up the get-togethers, etc. And I do believe some have become good friends who look forward to these gatherings, mini-holidays, and other occasional meetings, whether in a large group or just a couple of couples meeting up. And I am talking of a group of maybe twenty five guys and their ladies. Not all are close, but they always seem to have fun and enjoy themselves when together. My wife and daughter and I just returned from Hua hin visiting one friend and his wife and we all had a wonderful four days. Earlier during Songkran we had two couples visit us at our home, we visited their homes, one in Burirum province, and the other in Roi-Et area, and over the three days each slept at the others homes and visited family and did the traditional (and not so traditional) Songkran water blessings of the parents and extended families. It was a great time and good fun, and the ladies all get along famously. Just recently others of this group of friends and their ladies gathered in Pattaya at the beach for the long weekend and they had a great time. So I don't see this myself as being a problem most times. Who exactly are you showing these previous GF pics too? If it's some BG working you are chatting up and showing the pics to maybe this is why they are making disparaging remarks? Or a future GF type maybe you show the pic to? Women are women, and can be very catty at times, especially if they do not know the woman you are talking about, or are somehow having an interest in you as a partner, mate, or even a ST. But I see most Thai women, especially if they are of similar background and social standing, and polite and respectful, get along pretty well in these sort of social gatherings. Now if you are talking about women working in the bar scene then there are many different things that can come into play here. I've seen situations before where a group of friends getting together with the night's bargirls that they have pulled or are seeing turn a bit awkward and ugly and tense. One has a Patpong gogo lady, one has a massage parlor lady, one has a Karaoke lady, one has a freelancer and say one has beer bar lass. These can be very uncomfortable, for the ladies, (due I believe to some sort of rivalry and pecking order thing going on where some feel they are superior to others in this gathering) which subsequently makes the get together stressful for the guys, as most will pick up on this shit if they are not plastered, or totally oblivious, or just don't give a shit really if their GF du jour gets along with the others ladies or not. Trust each other? I think trust might be the wrong word. (Unless you are saying they are trying to steal each others boyfriends or husbands.) I think respect each other might be one way of putting it. Like I said, the pecking order thing, and social status and all that. Also ethnicity, education and background can come into play at times and cause problems. Isaan Lao, Isaan Khmer, Isaan Chinese, Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai white northern Thai, Chinese Thai, Bangkok born and raised or province born and raised, etc. One lady acting superior or talking down to any of the others gathered can cause problems in the group dynamics I have seen. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walletss Posted May 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 "Who exactly are you showing these previous GF pics too? If it's some BG working you are chatting up and showing the pics to maybe this is why they are making disparaging remarks? ..... " No I am talking about Thai women who are not involved in P4P. I am talking about women who are casual friends and in many cases have husbands or are involved in steady relationships. If I was showing a Thai friend and picture of a young bargirl standing outside a go-go bar then I would expect the raised eyebrow. I just don't understand why a Thai woman is so quick to pick up on negative vibes. Maybe they can see things we can't see? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 Had this happen in March when I introduced my GF to an old friend-they hate each other I found out but at the time seemed like they were friendly face to face. The reasons seem odd -'she thinks too much of herself'-' 'not same class or education' (not true) 'she not the one for you' etc etc.I have had the one with the photos as well-'this one is no good, I can tell by the way she looks!'-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 Sounds sad, like these women are always competing, even against a photo. Smacks of insecurity really, rather than seeing something we don't. You simply can't judge a person by a photo, otherwise all job interviews could be handled by the boss's wife with a pix sent....maybe that's what happens! :: I think Cent has a point. A lot of meetings and get to know are getting processed thru the same surefire rule of seizing the person's place, status, behaviour code, unlike us who would go for personality or feel first. A pix, talking about someone thai, will most likely have them in unsure territory, they will not especially be curious about the person, and err on the safe of non-commitment, or plain rejecting, almost like a "well, sorry but we have not been introduced properly" unconscious stance. But the badmouthing, this has to do with personality, not being thai. You could show them a pix of a nice, kind looking woman, and such woman would still badmouth her. Again, nothing too rigid, but along those lines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted May 10, 2005 Report Share Posted May 10, 2005 [color:"red"] Have noticed this as well...frankly, I think it is all women, not just Thais. Put a group of people together, and the first one to make a negative comment about one of the women will be another woman... [/color] Fair, very fair comment indeed. I have learnt in long-time experience with Thai women, certain Thais regardless of class, education or whatever that "go cautiously" with the friendship. However, I will be honest only when asked. :: I got burned many times, however, I also have had good experience with many. The same way as non-Thai women, the same rules apply. Mostly the rules are that certain subjects can be trusted, come to think of it, men and women have the same criteria for me. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamIAm Posted May 10, 2005 Report Share Posted May 10, 2005 Good post, I've also noticed that some of the Thai girls I know in the US actively stay away from other Thai's...My girlfriend for example (Chinese/Thai) does not like me speaking Thai when we go out to eat at Thai restaurants. For some reason she doesn't want other Thai's knowing who she is, as she can pass for Chinese (No it's not because I'm an ugly bastard...) You would think this is a isolated case, but I have many Thai acquaintances who are the same way...I still don't full understand it as I've always (mistakenly?) viewed Thai culture as very open in that respect... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 10, 2005 Report Share Posted May 10, 2005 same here. It's just the rumor mill is really grinding between some thai women, gossip and all that. Words of it come out, and someone is really mad and splits (usually, they meey again, split again, etc....) And to add, some think they are in position to tell the other what she "should" do, any matters but that of the heart often, and the advised one ends up being fed up with being told. It's usually the reason I hear when of my friend's thai wife stops seeing her thai friends "all they do is sit around and yakyak, yakyak...". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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