Cures for the Bangkok Blues

[Guest]

Hi Soongmak! You're one of the guys I've missed corresponding with...10 months in LOS! Whew, good for you. Your attitude is what is impressive, IMHO. You control your feelings; they are not in control of you! That's the difference between having the "Blues" and just "missing Thailand". Good on you.

Pattaya127 - I'll share some info on the couch sessions tomorrow, if there is more interest. Its nothing earth shaking, but I'll try to summarize.

LeoTex - You've never been yet and you have the blues?!?! Yikes. I agree with Spudmck. Hang onto your hat when you get back. You'll be starting the next thread on this subject!

Spudsmck - 90 days is about right for me as well. I think I'm not going to make specific plans that far in advance next time. Its too distracting. I've actually planned out itineraries by day - 3PM Edens; 7PM Beergarten; 8PM Patpong, etc. Unbelievable.

Cheers. Chicago Dave

[togaduke]

I here ya.. I got a bad case of them myself.. got to get out of them!! and start selling some homes again.. so I can get back.. there ...its just a feeling of switching the switch... and being around so many beautiful women.. and places ..its a differant world....

[ August 10, 2001: Message edited by: togaduke ]

[spudsmck]

quote:

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Originally posted by chicago dave:

Spudsmck - 90 days is about right for me as well. I think I'm not going to make specific plans that far in advance next time. Its too distracting. I've actually planned out itineraries by day - 3PM Edens; 7PM Beergarten; 8PM Patpong, etc. Unbelievable.

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I'm pretty bad myself and have a basic plan by day, but don't get so detailed as hour by hour. Glad to hear there's someone harder-core than me

[tbear31]

I would love to hear how to kick the blues. I guess I am now in my 6th week from BKK and I still think about it everyday. I think about it less each week, but I cannot imagine NOT thinking about it at all. And reading this board, or getting email from a bargirl really brings it up.

I took the advice of going with a hard-core bargirl on the last night, and although I don't think about her much, I do think about everyone else. Buying a ticket when I got back didn't really help much either; it just shifted the focus from the past onto the future. I tried putting away the pictures, but I just dive into the stack every night.

For me, the blues just makes everything in the US seem kind of blah. The girls are blah, the food is blah, the nightlife is blah... etc. I think Thailand puts you into a fantasy type world, and when you get back to reality (home), it makes for a tough transition. The girls make you feel like the sexiest, funniest, richest, well-hung, "jai-dee" man who ever roamed the earth; unfortunately the fan club stays in Thailand.

It's not all bad though. I was feeling like a was in a rut before I went to LOS. Now I feel happier knowing that there is a place like Thailand where you can just escape for a little while.

BTW, I really loved BKK too, so I am curious what the shrink had to say about why certain people like Thailand, although in retrospect, maybe my previous paragraph has something to do with it!

Just my two bits...

T

[Brink15]

BKK Blues?

A topic I can relate to on a scale that only expats really know.

If you think a few weeks in the LOS gives you BKK Blues, try living there for at least a year.

BKK Phil, KS, DB, et al, can relate because they have chosen the LOS as their home.

Until you have lived, worked, and made your life inside Thailand, you won't truly know what BKK blues is when you head home.

I loathed coming home for the first four months after I returned in 96'.

I hated my job. I couldn't stand the narrow-minded people I had to deal with who never left the comfort of their own little town or state.

I missed my morning Guay-tee-oh. I missed late night pad thai. I missed the bike ride into Patong to chat up the BGs in the late night bar after their shifts.

I missed NOT missing TV.

I missed the other expats from the UK, Scandinavia, Oz, even Germany .

Two years of friends, two years of memories, two years of the best life I've lived.

I go back for three weeks and come home to depression. Not blues. Wake up every morning wondering where the hell I am depression. The pain of realizing I'm home, in my own bed, having to deal with a-holes who never venture outside of their own states and have no clue there is another world outside our borders.

But for all the pain, it's their loss not mine. At least I have lived. At least I have experienced other cultures. At least I can go back, or know I can go back.

They sit and watch TV and think they have it made. F' em, their loss.

Not to sound sanctimonious, KS, DB, and many others have more time in the LOS than me. I'm just saying that by leaving your culture and comfort behind, you find out what the possibilities might be.

To steal from our own KS,

Sanuk!

[Guest]

Brink15 speaks for me too. I found it incredibly hard after my first trip, principally because I thought I'd left it all behind.

Now the only thing that gets me through is the knowledge I'll go back. While it helps, it does make me feel like I'm living in exile for 11 months of the year - hence the Brink15 feeling.

I have also moved inside the 90-day waiting period, but I find that makes it worse rather than better - at times the days, hours and even minutes seem to drag.

I've resigned myself to having to move there to either find the wonderful life it could be, or discover I really loathe the place and get it out of my system.

Dave, I'd also like to hear about some of the therapy. That's being a Cheap Charlie for you - second-hand therapy!!!

[spirit_of_town_hall]

Agree with you guys, one part of me wants to holidasy there 3 4 times a year at great expense. But I realise for true happiness I have to save to enable me to retire.

Friends have said that I am to an extent sacrificing life here to allow my LOS trips. This has made me think, and realise that I will have to accept just 2 trips a year, but I am still very thankful that I can manage that as I realise a lot of people would be happy with that, especially poor Americans who only get 12 days holiday a year, God a feel sorry for you!

However envy the Dutch and Germans where 7 weeks are not unheard of!!

So for now as long as I stick to about an 8 year plan hopefully will be able to retire.

I've seriously thought about teaching English but my heart wouldn't be in it, and as well as that I think it would be hard to manage on 30 000 baht month.

[Guest]

Ive been home for 10days and its seems like 10 years. I spent 3 weeks in LOS and its went so bloody fast. It was my first trip and like most people on this board have fallen in love with the magic of the place.

I spent 3-4 months reading heaps of messages from people who have been to LOS saying how its addictive...etc. I thought people were going a bit overboard.

Well guess who has the Blues.. Guess who booked a return trip for November the first day back.. Who waits anxiously everyday to see if my girlfriend will email me..

Yes.. Its me..

Next visit I will make a point of going to the Woodstock to meet everyone.. Didnt manage to get around to every bar at NEP.. Spent most of my time at Carnival and Hollywood(s).

The only thing i dont miss about bangkok is pissing out my butt hole 5 times a day..

I look forward to moving to BKK in 12 months.

Pussyraider

[Guest]

Hi again, guys.

Pom_Jao_Choo - Glad to hear from you. Devil's advocate is fine! I don't claim to have all the answers, and different viewpoints are what this board and this thread are all about. Thanks for welcoming me back.

Brink15 - Killer post. I agree. Traveling and living in another country puts an entirely different spin on things and so many Americans never get - or take - the chance. Hang in there.

Pussy_Raider - Good luck with your move. If your name is any indication, I think I know the direction you're headed! Chok dii!

To tbear31, Seeker, togaduke - to summarize the therapy thing, its fairly simple, but I know this is going to be a run-on paragraph... Bear with me. He said that most men lead lives of "quiet desperation". We spend our lives doing the things we are "supposed to do". Sometimes its fun, but usually not. How many rich guys still end up killing themselves? The money doesn't make us happy because we spend every waking moment trying to obtain it, rather than really enjoying the happiness its SUPPOSED to bring. Our wives or girlfriends in the real world are demanding and they actually have the NERVE TO GET OLD!!!! How dare they! Thailand represents the freedom to do the things that you WANT to do; that every man with a normal sex drive would do if he had the chance. Guys can't do it in their own countries - for many reasons - so they go to LOS. An adult Disney World on crack. Also, for guys who are aging (I'm almost 50), where else can you go to find a beautiful, young, sexy, willing girl that will try as hard as she can to please you, sometimes even for free?

A point about the getting old...Ask some of the expats who live there and who have been settled down with their ladies for a while. Some of them realize that fantasy eroded and reality crept back in. Their Thai wives and girlfriends can be just as demanding and shrewish as women anywhere.

 

Also, a lot of guys who go to LOS are not considered "Alpha Males" in their country. Its hard to get the time of day from women who are always looking for the bigger, better deal. Admit it, if you're a guy out there, maybe a little nerdy, maybe a 100 pounds or so overweight, who sometimes can't even get a third class woman in your country to treat you right, what better outlet for your ego and sexual needs? You might think, as you cuddle up to two hot bargirls in Playskool, "So-and-so should see me now, the b**ch! I'm showing her!"

Most men fear death - more so than women for some reason - and being with a girl 18 to around 30 gives older guys the feeling that they are really younger than they are. "I still got it. I'm not 52, I'm 25!"

Its illusion. The general consensus we reached is that, enjoy what you can over there but keep your head on straight by constantly reminding yourself that the girls are in this for a business transaction, and leave your heart (the part that falls in love) in your sock drawer at home.

Keep it coming guys. Thanks. Chicago Dave

[pattaya127]

quote:

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Originally posted by spirit_of_town_hall:

, especially poor Americans who only get 12 days holiday a year, God a feel sorry for you!

However envy the Dutch and Germans where 7 weeks are not unheard of!!

.

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I thought the same too. But since i befriended american members from the LOS boards, i realize they have a lot more freedom to go than we imagine. Indeed, they only can go for 2 or 3 weeks at the time, but quite a few of them seem to be able to do it more than twice a year. Also, a lot of americans like me have their own business and we do not have to wait for August like the french to get our 5 weeks vacation: i stay between 3 and 4 months every winter. I figured i'll skip worrying about retirement and just become an old wise farang monk in a thai monastery for nothing!