Cures for the Bangkok Blues

[Guest]

HI it's me Pom_Jao_Choo

I'm just having a little trouble getting my posting

name back but could not resist posting to this one.

In the 10 years since my first trip there has been

hardly a day or 3 that I have not thought about Thailand!

I have only been 3 times 1992,1993, I waited 5 long long years due to a setback untill I finally made it home in 1998.

I have not been now for over 3 years and I have another 17 month's to wait.

After my first trip there I more or less forgot about my life goal plans to save to start a small business

and after all this time all I can think about is WHY would I want to shake the BKK blues? This is the best thing I have ever known and my concern is not how to rid myself of it, but how I can get more!!

For myself BKK Blues has only driven me to work harder but then again my thought's have never been focused dominantly on the boom boom or BG aspect of LOS.

It';s good to see you back however Dave and maybe I will find some interesting insight in your postings or possibly I will just play the devils advocate

Pom_Jao_Choo

[Guest]

BKK Blues

Its like an AA meeting Its been 14 Months since my last drink I mean trip.

I pissied my Farang wife of when I came back I was so blued out. Now here is the crunch just as I thought I was a recovering BKK Holic I reconciled with the wife on the condition I never go back to LOS three months ago. I have just told her I will be there next month. See you guys soon.

MY PEN LAI.

[sidsanuk]

Interesting views on the Blues :-) Here are some thoughts from a relative Newbie to BKK.

I have certainly had it bad over the last couple of years. I travel to BKK every month and found that it was affecting my work. eg I would plan work around how to schedule my next trip. I work in BKK as well, so that is the reason I go there so much.

I found after a dozen or so trips I was getting really hooked on the scene. Had by regular BG who used to 'move in' while I was in town. It was getting beyond the pleasant fantasy. I was actually contemplating a long term relationship with her. It all just felt so good. I got to know all her friends at the bar and enjoyed their company.

I found I had to keep giving myself a reality check. And the posts from the guys here helped a lot in that regard. Trying to be objective about the situation all the time. But jeeze, it is hard to be objective when a 27 year old cutie just wants to get into your shorts all the time. I'm 40+. :-)

So how have I kicked the blues? :-))) I found a non BG GF (a bit closer to my age) and rarely visit the bars any more. She is an absolute Honey., who I have grown to love dearly. Don't miss the BG scene at all.

Reality is even better than fantasy :-)) 100% better, because the emotions are genuine. Marriage looks certain :-)) (For those who may feel to comment. No she is not after my money and yes she genuinely loves me. She has proved these things many times over in her actions)

So my take on the BKK Blues? It is real, the Blues that is. The scene is very addictive. I am sure it wrecks relationships and marriages. It has mine. But I have no regrets, because it opened my eyes to what happiness could be like, with a GF from a different culture/background. With a GF that could show me what real love and commitment was.

And my view of life is....you only get one shot. So if you are not happy (as I was not), then it's time to change horses before the race is over.

But try to remember, the bar scene is just that...a scene...like the scene from a play. While you are taking part in the play it seems so real, the characters are so real, the emotions are so real.....But it's not reality...it is just a fantasy where the actors are brilliant at their art. It's like the ultimate 'feel good' movie :-)) So enjoy the play for what it is :-)) Don't be like a kid coming out of a Super Man movie...thinking he can fly ..LOL It was just a movie...and make believe.

Sorry to ramble. Just Sid being the amateur philosopher again. Take care....The Blues are real.

All BGs should carry a Government Health Warning.

"The Surgeon General advises that it has been proven that screwing this girl will".

A. Make you fall in love with her.

B. Make you want to buy her all kinds of shit.

C. Make you fall in love with all females of her race under 60 years old.

D. Lead to you thinking about bugger all else for half of your waking hours.

Chok Dee :-)))

Sid

[PhordPhan]

BKK Blues...

Oh, boy, did I have them bad. Still do to a certain extent.

My first trip was in Nov. '99. I had read some stuff on LOS, but didn't know of these boards. I took my wife, who's very open minded. (I know, sandwich to a banquet, coals to Newcastle, etc.) We had a great time, me more than her. For the next 2-3 months I couldn't stop thinking about it! What pulled me through was work (business picked up a lot) and boards like this. Chatting on these boards is kinda like the nicotine patch. It isn't the same as sanuk, but it gives you just a little "taste."

Anyway, even wifey was getting a bit upset after a while because I was so obsessed. I finally cooled of a little and she came to grips with it a little better and we've reached a compromise.

Then, recently, she said how she missed Thailand, too, and wanted to go back!!! The only problem is a financial one. I've sunk about 30 Large into my last hot rod over the last two years, and she says we need to recover from that before any "expensive" vacations. So, I have to take her to Maui this year, then next year it's off to LOS once again! Hoo, Ha!

Anyway, the Blues are real, and have been described far better than I can. It seems that having a life outside LOS, a job and/or hobby to keep you active, sympathetic relatives, etc. can ease the transition. It's just a matter of spending enough time away from the scene. I feel sorry for those who don't have one or more of these to cushion the shock, because it's so much worse than anyone expects.

One thing, don't try to "ease off" by visiting local strip clubs, etc., in the US! Did that once (and it'll be the last time, too). Nothing but frustration and BIG bar bills. Once you've been to a BKK gogo, there's no substitute.

PhordPhan

[ August 11, 2001: Message edited by: PhordPhan ]

[Flashermac]

I don't know what's with you folks. Living here in Bangkok, I never seem to have Bangkok Blues. Maybe you live in the wrong place. :-)

[steffi]

What IT professional? Where is he now?

[shotover]

Spudsmck, Tbear31, Brink15, Seeker, Pussyraider, Sid sanuk, and of course, Chicago Dave (you?re serving as an excellent therapist for all of us) described my feelings, and the underlying reasons, better than I can ever express myself. ChiDave?s quote of ?quiet desperation? best described my mental state prior to visiting Thailand for the first time.

When I went to Thailand on my first trip, I thought I was seeking sex and the adventure of experiencing a very different culture. However, I now realize I was also looking for love as I became emotionally attached to many of the girls I spent the nights with, despite all the warnings and stories I had read about on the boards.

Someone who goes purely for the sex would get over the blues more quickly.

Although the sex exceeded my wildest expectations, I began to enjoy the companionship of the Thai girls more than the sex. . I know it's a business relationship, but Asian (Thai and Vietnamese) girls unlock emotions in me that no American lady can reach. I cannot resist their charm, heart stopping smiles, caring personalities, looks, cuddles, and incomparable way of taking care of my wants and needs.

Most of all, it?s the feeling of being wanted and desired.

My head tells me that a long-time relationship with a bar girl will not work when I am able to visit Thailand only 6 weeks each year, but my heart won?t let go of this possibility.

This thread is truly helping me cope with my feelings until I return to Thailand on November 11.

Shotover

[Guest]

what would be LoS without having money, well at least let say a room to sleep in, and a 1500Bt to spend a day.

I think most people experience LoS so greatly becoz they are on a vacation + they have a lot of money to spend arround.

But without money your ass is nowhere there and it can be boring as hell.

..unless you live there (and have a gf + a job where you can waste most of your time on)

[Guest]

Gys, there are some interesting posts here!

SinSanuk - Excellent perspective and good luck with your lady. You seem to have found something solid. Not everyone does.

PhordPhan - Keeping busy IS a HUGE key to losing the blues. The more time you have on your hands and the more boredom sets in, the worse the blues get. No question. Guys should find an outlet that gets the mind directed in places other than boom-boom.

Shotover - Thanks for the nice words and I agree with your comments about the particular brand of excitement only Asian ladies seem to incite in guys like us. They are incredible. You know why you go and what your motivation is; your job - as you know - is to keep it in perspective with your life.

Steffi - The Stickman has a few words about this guy on his site, but I met this person in Woodstock a year ago last February. He is a guy from the West Coast of the US somewhere. He had a high tech job that somehow brought him to LOS. He was so hooked he kept going back until he finally lost his job and he just STAYED! When I met him, he had lost a lot of weight, was pale, had long, stringy hair, was wearing a FLANNEL shirt(!) and was even considering selling his US passport in order to get a few bucks to keep him in the game. A terrible story really. Where he is now I'm not sure...I had heard an update that he was living in the hotel above the Thermae (begins with "R" but can never remember that name!) but it was a while ago now so I don't know whether he is even alive or not. That's about all I have on him. Cheers. Chicago Dave

[Steve]

I have to agree with the posts that suggest that it is addictive like a drug. Some people can smoke crack once and never try it again, some smoke it once and are practically hooked for life.

I've traveld a bit. I get my fair share of ladies. In fact I do very well, however, when I'm strolling down soi 8 in Pattaya, I am the Beatles. I am Brad Pitt. Brad knows that if he wasn't in movies he wouldn't hear the shrieks of young American girls and I know if it wasn't for the almighty baht I wouldn't hear the shrieks of young Thai girls. But you get used to it and need it. Plus the fantasy of a pretty young thing seemingly in love with you and nothing makes her happier than to see you happy. Yeah, it doesn't get to the point with me that I will seriously consider marrying a BG or I may get one here for a month long holiday. I have, in an offhanded way, thought about what it would be like, but dismiss those thoughts as silly and crazy the moment it enters my head.

Since going to LOS its actually been easier to get women. I have a blaze`, straight forward but don't care attitude that women seem to like now. Female friends say I have changed since LOS. That I don't have that hungry look single guys on the hunt have. That I look like I know something no one else does. Little do the women I meet realize that the slightly indifferent with a touch of interest and faint smile I give them is because I'm thinking that I wouldn't have to put up with this BS in LOS.

Till they come up with something better or a pill to cure it, I'm hooked on Thailand. I am not even embarassed about having been there anymore. I've been accused of banging innocent, 3rd world girls, I tell 'em you should be embarassed about removing the balls from innocent western men!

Thailand, me love you long time!!