Central Scrutinizer Posted November 22, 2005 Report Share Posted November 22, 2005 MSB, I'd say this depends on who she expects to now pay a mortgage on the place wouldn't you? If the money went to pay Dad's tractor why should FA now have to assume a mortgage on the wife's house (likely built and paid for by him) to pay her Dad's bills due to his misfortune or financial irresponsibility? Like I asked, what was the big rush to pay the total tractor bill off? Couldn't a couple/few payments on the tractor have sufficed until Dad could resume paying for it himself? This is the sort of stuff that dooms many a farang/Thai marriage to failure. The fact he wasn't asked about this until it was all done speaks volumes in my eyes. Our house is on family land. I paid to build the house on it. If my wife and I ever split I have no problem with her keeping the house. It is hers. But if she did something like this and then expected me to pay the new mortgage (our house has no mortgages, nor do I want any) I'd be seriously pissed off and it would be a major hurdle in the relationship to overcome. The fact he wasn't asked about doing this first is a sign of great disrespect in my thinking on it all. I'd be ripshit as we Yanks say. Cent p.s. Until FA answers a few questions posed this is all assumption though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iuytrede Posted November 22, 2005 Report Share Posted November 22, 2005 This is very common with the kind of wife you sem to have. In the thread "when do you give up" you were told quite clearly what kind of wife you seem to have. Especially you were told that most probably she has a Thai husband in Uttaradit and sees you as an ATM. So it should not surprise you that now she fleeced you - there will be more to come. If you have a sucker whom you can cheat out of 200 000, wouldn't you try 2 million next time? Or 20 million? Or 200 million? Doesn't matter what currency. The sky is the limit. When do you give up? When you are broke? I can tell you when SHE will give up. When you are broke BTW you have been told to be careful and NOT to kidnap your child but go to a reputable law firm. I second this. But I suggest you cut your losses and run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FAT_AUSSIE Posted November 23, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 Thanks guys... The house is built on family land paid for by myself, tractor purchased with so I'm told money from some guy from Sukhothai, dont know-never met him. No reasons offered as to why the tractor was paid off 100% now and no I don't intend to kidnapp my daughter... I really dont think she has an other husband thing going on and this is why I am trying to look at this yes perhaps through Thailand coloured glasses but my wife is a very young(just turned 22) girl trying to raise with the help of her mother and sister my 18 month old daughter. Her fathers as much an alcoholic as he is a gambler, the old man is a right cunt to the point his wife and two daughters hate him. He rules the roost when I'm not home it's a constant nightmare for the rest of my family... Getting my daughter is simple! I just stop giving my wife money then she will have to forfiet her. But is that the right thing by my wife or daughter-on top of having the father from hell and growing up in an area where everyone is up your arse all the time tailking shit making you believe you are not a good daughter if you don't worship your father even if it means using your husband, robbing your daughter of a life and putting up with all the father in laws shit? I can't fully understand why my wife treats me like a cunt, everyone has thier dog to kick and I'm obviously easy to mislead given the distance between us at the moment. I think it's maybe better to leave an angry dog sleep for now but when I get home shortly I'll have it out then, she tells me not to be concerned that she only has to repay 40,000 baht p/a for the next 10 years which weather I like it or not will come from my pocket one way or another. As much as I'd like to finnish her, take my daughter and move on with my life-where does that leave my wife who at the end of the day may just want to have her little girl and an otherwise happy life. She cant control her parents, there is as many would have seen before some sort of brainwashing throughout thier childhood that often fucks them up. Thats not my wife's fault and turning her to dust i'm not really certain just yet should become her penalty... Cheers FA... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkey39 Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 If you intend to continue with your marriage, it would be a very good idea to set concrete boundaries with your wife, clear cut consequences for violating those boundaries, then following through if it's required. Now, I'm single and have never been married, so take my advice for what it's worth . I usually have a slow-burn type of temper, but something like this would have sent me up in flames. Anyway, good luck to you man. monkey39 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 [color:"blue"]Is it just my wife or is this the sort of thing Thai women do in thier marriages??? [/color] I assume that the house belongs to her, your name is not there for being not Thai. IMO, it is also common for many women in certain economic levels of Thailand not to consult their "farang" husband. Most of these women are influenced by thier fathers, bad or good in your eyes. The society also praise women who "pay back" to parents and it is believed to be one of the greatest "merit" ones can do. I just hope that you can communicate your feelings, however, there is a Thai saying and many believe it wholeheartedly, that is "Husbands come and go, there are only 1 set of parents who give ones life". Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torrenova Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 One thing I do know when contemplating a relationship with a Thai girl is to look at the family. What to do ? Having a daughter complicates matters but I may have to walk away. The burning question is why did it have to be paid off now or is it really payment for other debts. At 40k per year for 10 years it will cost 400k, double the amount borrowed. I doubt dad in law will cough this up. I would never buy anything in a girl's name, never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 <<"Husbands come and go, there are only 1 set of parents who give ones life".>> then how do some thais think farangs entered the world then, from inside a cornflakes box in a little plastic bag :: my mrs has met my parents and knows this possible theory to be a fallacy :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limbo Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 FA, My father in law seems to have a similar influence on my wife and we had some words on a few occasions already. It seems that dad in law is god, and than a few hours nothing and maybe somewhere husband comes in the picking order. Funnily enough all his daughter and MIL dislike him once he starts one of his rantings (he's good at that and keeps going on) but at the end of the day, what he says happens. :: What your missus pulls off is a disgrace however, I would never accept anything like that. In a relationship you're equal and on top of this, you need to repay the 400K. Bullsh*t. She would have to have consult you and looking at what you posted already, I'd run and make sure I got my daughter back. This seems only the beginning of the end. The suggestion about giving your missus bounderies sounds like very good advice here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pe7e Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 I can't fully understand why my wife treats me like a cunt I can, and I suspect most of the board members can! you're being treated like a cunt because you are letting it happen. Why buy a house in her name to start with? there are alternatives where you would not have been as vunerable to what is esentially theft. You're being taken to the cleaners and it would appear you don't want to accept it! Cut your losses and run, you picked a bad one and I doubt you will be able to sort it out. It's not a fortune but 200K is a fair amount of cash on top of the 2M or so you have probably already esentially given away. You can take some comfort from the fact that there are many gullible Westerners out there who have lost much more, but you don't have be one of them do you?. I hope it all works out well for you. Don't let yourself become the victim of an uneducated, feckless peasant, stand up for yourself, and put the 'big brain' in gear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted November 23, 2005 Report Share Posted November 23, 2005 If you intend to continue with your marriage, it would be a very good idea to set concrete boundaries with your wife, clear cut consequences for violating those boundaries, then following through if it's required Sound advice from Monkey39. I hate to say it FA, but (for you and your daughter's sake) make sure the little one doesn't follow mommy's path. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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