Guest Posted August 14, 2001 Report Share Posted August 14, 2001 Zane Well if somebody want or do not marry his Thai G/F it is all up to the individual. Somebody is happy to stay alone (or with the G/F), while other to go married. It took me 4 years, before going into marriage and after 10 year of marriage, it is going well. This has nothing to do with the girl’s nationality and divorces are happened everywhere. Before I forget, the age different between my wife and me is 4 years. Perhaps this could be an factor as well, in failing Thai-Farang relationships (without offending somebody on the board). I did see disasters around me, mostly involving age differences in excess of 20 years. Phom Dundee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamock Chokaprret Posted August 14, 2001 Report Share Posted August 14, 2001 With regard to the initial question: quote: Over and over I come across the obsession with marriage. I am not being sarcastic, but would like some explanation - what is this about?? One question that looms: How old are the guys that are thinking of getting married? Really young I would guess. Like many, I met a girl here I just decided I couldn't live without. I've had girlfriends in the US for extended periods and I've had extended periods there without a steady girlfriend. I'm 42, never married. And now I'm going to marry a Thai girl, probably in December. Why you ask? Why give up my freedom? Probably because she's simply the finest woman I've ever met. Every other chick I ever new back in the US had either a fat ass or a bad attitude (or both) and frankly I'd gotten a little sick of it. Now I have a devoted girlfriend that cooks for me, does pretty much whatever I want (I'm generally a pretty reasonable guy), doesn't complain when I leave the toilet seat up and never, I mean never, asks me for anything unreasonable. When we first started seeing each other, she never asked me for support money, never asked for a single baht of gold. Never even dropped a hint (sorry guys, I'm not thick either). While I know there are many girls out there that do not fit this profile, I want to believe there are others that do. Look for a girl not in the biz for long, with a strong sense of moral obligation to her family back home and a girl that doesn't ask much from you. I say that will probably lead to success. I think I have found that girl and I have no problem trying the marriage scene. Someday I'll have to do a long post on how this all turns out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted August 15, 2001 Report Share Posted August 15, 2001 Zane May I share your disdain, if that is not too strong a word, for marriage. Have a couple Thai girls I see, no Caribbean girlfriend (working on one actually, we'll see) but parents are from the Caribbean. So we have a couple things in common. Tell me how ya do it 'playah'?! (joke) The loss of freedom is what scares me also, I enjoy the variety of different women too much right now to give it up. Its been said men are not naturally monogamous, while there are other studies that say the opposite. By the number of men who cheat I tend to go with the former. New Petchburi Pete: I sincerely hope it all works out for you. I think its good to hear the good as well as the bad stories about marriages in LOS. I'm jaded on the marriage thing. Who knows, never say never, right now I just can't see it. Its like getting stuck in a job that is okay for a little while and then becomes old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zanemay Posted August 18, 2001 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2001 Gents: I have been camping for about a week so I have not been able to keep up with my thread. I was really delighted with these replies. It occurred to me while I was gone that I should have made an allowance for those who wanted to have children. I think that is one situation in which marriage is compelling. I am certainly happy for New Petchburi Pete, Dundee and Lamock Chokaprret. I am more of a romantic than a cynic, so these stories are truly heart warming. I hope your happiness continues. Still, as usual, I lean strongly towards the views of Chocolate Steve. I have never been monogamous and it is hard to believe that other men are. Some are I know, it's just difficult for me to fit into my conceptual scheme. Like Steve, I am calmly polygamous. I don't land in BKK and try to get 3 girls a day like some do. I have a special girl in BKK and don't butterfly there at all. But I go back and forth to Pattaya where it is a whole different story. Again, I never look for quantity. I always look for women who will be long-term girl friends. Keep them cards and letters coming! Sanuk dee, Zane May Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 18, 2001 Report Share Posted August 18, 2001 Zane, I've been coming to Thailand for 10+ years and I never thought about marrying a Thai bargirl. And this is simply because I have nothing in common with them. As you know, most marriages/relationships between Thai girls and foreigners are between prostitutes and sex-tourists/sex-expatriate. And I have seen some marriages work-out wonderfully but majorities of these marriages/relationships don't. In fact, some turned out to be very tragic where foreigners always end up losing everything they have. This can really be painful for older men who doesn't have anything to fall back on or have the time to make some money for their retirement. I personally believe living together as opposed to marriage(to Thais, this is marriage) and see where this leads before make that commitment. [ August 17, 2001: Message edited by: Traveler ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zanemay Posted August 18, 2001 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2001 Traveler, I'm with you. I especially feel nothing in common with TBGs. After all, these are mostly farm girls from a third world country. Hard to think of someone so unsophisticated as a "partner!" My ideal living arrangement is like the one I have now which is similar to one I had before. My GF in America lives two blocks away. She sleeps with me every night I am home, but goes to her home every day. We still have our privacy and a degree of freedom. Zane May [ August 18, 2001: Message edited by: Zane May ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 18, 2001 Report Share Posted August 18, 2001 I have thought about this at different times. If the relationship situation is in the Farang home country, then a lot of questions pop up, ie how does she cope away from family, how does she cope with you away at work 12 hours/day over a week. Would I be a very boring person to the prospective TG. I know each persons circumstances will differ and that would be a factor in success. What works for X will not for Y. I would need to know myself very well and perhaps the girl in question very, very well. My list of TG marriage killer features would be:- Bargirl, big age difference, very young girl, relationship time anything less than years, substance abuse by either partner, inability to have children. But I just can't see myself marrying a western girl, I don't see that one working at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Petchburi Pete Posted August 19, 2001 Report Share Posted August 19, 2001 My situation is such that the position for which I was hired (photographer) in LOS will enable my Thai wife to work with me. We both are very excited about this opportunity. She wants to see America; but, I am not sure she would be happy in The States. And, of course, there is always talk of buying land in Isaan, so that one day we can have a home near her molther. This is a cultural thing that I freely embrace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky brow Posted August 19, 2001 Report Share Posted August 19, 2001 Hi ROLANDCH, Can you explain about Technical Reasons to marry a girl,that one really gets to me FLO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 19, 2001 Report Share Posted August 19, 2001 KevinM This is all up to individual women’s ability to adopt in difference places. This is also the other way round for farang/farang couples that are living outside their home country. I know expatriate couples in which the wife simply “can’t take it” and look forward to go back. But you are right; you need to know the girl in question very, very, very well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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