Bargirls as friends?

[Steve]

Maybe I'm a little different, but I enjoy meeting all different kinds of people and have learned something new from all types, pauper or prince.

Bonker, I have struck up friendships with bar girls and got valuable insight into the bar scene. They ask me about America and the west and I learn about Thai culture.

I think you have to take people individually and not judge as a group.

You are entitled to your own opinion however, so don't take this comment as a flame.

Getting back to the original question. Mr. Ennui, since you slept with her it makes a platonic friendship far more difficult. You may have to start over with someone else. If you insist on a friendship, make it totally clear of your intentions.

[spudsmck]

quote:

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Originally posted by chocolat steve:

since you slept with her it makes a platonic friendship far more difficult. You may have to start over with someone else.

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Bingo! we have a winner.

[think_too_mut]

In Farangland, what would you do if your best friend keeps on coming to your house to drink and have fun, without bringing a bottle with him? How long would it take you to tell him, hey, your drinks cost me money and my time, chip in or get lost?

I would not consider any fun with a BG to be for free, even if she stated so (as my girl there always does). I always bring a bottle (and more) to the party.

Having finally found someone in BKK I like, no way I'll be dipping again from the "buy me cola" pool.

[Lamock Chokaprret]

quote:

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Personally, would never dream or even come near to considering a friendship with a former or "working" bar girl: simply because 99% of Thais strongly look down on those girls AND the men involved with them!

Also, What is there to talk about? may be someone could suggest a topic? Most of these girls are uneducated, and REALLY know very little about anything!!!

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Echo Shygye's sentiments!!

Who cares what other Thais think? Do you run your life by what others think of you? If you do, then maybe you should heed this board.

While the girls may not have the highest standard of education in many cases, they definetly have schooling in "street smarts." Besides, education does not equate to intelligence. Many of the college educated people I know are dumb as roots. Bet these girls could survive adversity as well or better than any farang. So you can't talk about world politics, who cares?

[ August 28, 2001: Message edited by: Lamock Chokaprret ]

[Guest]

“Personally, would never dream or even come near to considering a friendship with a former or "working" bar girl: simply because 99% of Thais strongly look down on those girls AND the men involved with them!”

BONKERBON BONKER

Any Thai women who walks across the street with a farang will be looked at like “Is she really…” or “do you think she meet him at……”, this is regardless with her educational background. This is just a matter of generalization that all Thai women meet their farang somewhere in a pub.

Well, both my wife as myself, we don’t give a dam s..t on other people thinking, and we are not interested in this generalized bullshit.

My wife went once to the Australian embassy in order to get a tourist visa for holiday and the Thai clerk found it necessary to ask her in a creepy way “why are you having a farang, is a Thai men not good enough?.”

My wife replied as follows: she put up her elbow and fist, and said “look, this is the dick of a farang”, following pointing her middle finger to the clerk, she continued “and this is the dick of a Thai men” and this is the only reason why I’m having an farang.

Well, I was perplex standing there…. O yes, she did get the visa without problems.

[Guest]

You wrote

...My wife went once to the Australian embassy in order to get a tourist visa for holiday and the Thai clerk found it necessary to ask her in a creepy way “why are you having a farang, is a Thai men not good enough?.”

My wife replied as follows: she put up her elbow and fist, and said “look, this is the dick of a farang”, following pointing her middle finger to the clerk, she continued “and this is the dick of a Thai men” and this is the only reason why I’m having an farang.....

I would just like to say, WELL DONE!!!

[robaus]

There are indeed some very "jai dee" working girls out there. My own GF is one of them. She's brilliant... doesn't drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, is a fantastic cook, washes my dirty knickers, keeps my condo immaculate, makes me laugh, keeps me young, nags me into taking care of my health, and turns plenty of heads when we walk out together. I'm pretty sure she cares about me very very much BUT my particular relationship is not the same as love in a western sense (never married or committed - maybe that's my problem). "In sickness and in health" (yes OK .. she spent 4 days sleeping on a couch at my bedside when I was in hospital recently, for which I was very grateful, especially when an ogre of a nurse turned up to wash me!) But "for richer or for poorer" I'm not certain. We've had very frank discussions about money, and the bottom line for her is that she doesn't want to be struggling in her old age as her mother is now .... can't blame her for that; what would I do if I'd been born into a poor Isaan family? And I get the distinct impression that if suddenly all my investments went belly up and the money well went dry, then she'd seek greener pastures. There was a good story (fictitious?) on the Pattaya Freelancer Board and possibly the Nanaplaza members board illustrating the contrasting attitudes to love. Anyone got the ref? A western guy wants to be loved for simply being himself period. A Thai girl expects a man to "demonstrate" his love by taking care of her and that involves money and often taking care of her family as well. How true it is of all Thais I don't know. There are better experts on the subject than I.

>>Are they prepared to spend time like this with farangs? Or will she be off bonking at the first 1000baht note she sees? Are they interested in farangs as friends, or just an income?

To Ennui,

Sounds like you're in a similar dilemma. The tone of your post suggests you are concerned about her welfare. Ultimately, if you're not prepared to show commitment, then keep it strictly friendship. Be TOTALLY honest with her and yourself. Are you husband material, a butterfly, or a friend, or a butterfly/friend?

BTW, do as I say, not as I do!.... or you'll find yourself in the same predicament as me!! It starts off with your dick ruling your heart ruling your brain, then progresses to your heart ruling your brain ruling your wallet.

To All,

Don't forget that the emails we send to the girls cost us bugger all. But for the girls it's a considerable expense ... translations, net time, effort, fares, and time to reach a netcafe. So don't lead them up the garden path too much, just because you've got a bout of LOS blues. It'll pass.

Rambled on a bit. It's the piss talking. Stayed in tonight after a binge yesterday that saw me still drinking at 9am down Soi 8 Pattaya discussing N Irish politics with a rabid NI Catholic and a manic NI Protestant.... so much for 2 am closing time!

Good luck, mate.

[ September 08, 2001: Message edited by: robaus ]

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by Mr Ennui:

[QB]S .... Saying she misses me and loves me etc.

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Are they prepared to spend time like this with farangs? Or will she be off bonking at the first 1000baht note she sees? Are they interested in farangs as friends, or just an income?

QB]

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BGs need friends too. It's a lonely life. Fact she says she loves you may be inspired by what she *thinks* you want to hear. Most Isarn BGs have little or no self-esteem.

There's one end of the scale, all the stories about scams and what-ever. And the other end of the scale, assuming all BGs have nothing else on their mind but to rip you off.

If you enjoy the thing, don't allow paranoia to spoil it.

To give an example: While I was working in the oil bizz in Sarawak (Bintulu, Miri) I met a lot of BGs although the scene is completely different. Great company 'coz they have a lot of great stories. Used to hang out with them a lot outside "working hours". Highly preferred it over the Expat scene blabbering about work and golf and posh boring parties and all that sheit.

I've got a huge big soft spot for hookers. In any part of the world. And I can solemnly vow they can make excellent and highly entertaining friends.

In case you're constantly worried about whether she's just chasing you to unload you of another 90 Baht though .... I mean: That could keep me up all night too (LOL).

I mean, I've been screwed once or twice while in LOS and so bit it but it's honoust-to-God not as if an army of 50,000 sits behind a screen all day feeding the world with love-you-long-time-and-my-mom-needs-an-operation stories.

I've spend only 7 month in Thailand over the past 12 years and I'm not an expert on LOS in particular but in your case I would feel pretty relaxed about it. Think of it: What's the worst thing that could happen ?? Nothing. It's just a lot of crap in your own head, perhaps inspired by horror stories on boards like this.

Hmmm .. Than again I might not have said this ten years ago.

Take care and take it easy

PS When in LOS (or Phils) long time, chances of getting screwed *BIG TIME* by some farang are actually much bigger than getting screwed by some Isarn BG. Probably not a popular subject but it's pretty true. If you want to be a lttle paranoid about something in Thailand or e.g. Phils, it should be about farang. Somehow wonder why that's never being addressed. The most elaborate con-artists operating in Thailand are certainly not Thai.

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by clickonline:

PS When in LOS (or Phils) long time, chances of getting screwed *BIG TIME* by some farang are actually much bigger than getting screwed by some Isarn BG. Probably not a popular subject but it's pretty true. If you want to be a lttle paranoid about something in Thailand or e.g. Phils, it should be about farang. Somehow wonder why that's never being addressed. The most elaborate con-artists operating in Thailand are certainly not Thai.

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Very, Very true

Ask a lot of the bar owners at Clinton if they feel they got screwed!!

There were also a number of farang trwling around at the time claiming they owned the place and trying for deposits on bars.

[Guest]

Some can be really excellent and trustworthy friends.

Have a friend who was best friend of an old girlfriend, she now works on the Sukh cutting hair, gave up being a BG year ago. Have never slept with her.

She gets English practice from me, a friend who does'nt want to screw her, a look into the wider world outside Thailand and uncomplicated company - she does'nt have to lie about loving me etc etc and send flattering emails when I am not in Thailand. It is a simple and genuine friendship.

I get a trustworthy friend in Bangkok who is always constant. When I work out in the rural provinces in Thailand I leave my main money, passport and other valuables with her for when I return back to BKK. She has never taken a penny from what she is holding for my safekeeping. When I leave to go back to U.K. I always offer to pay a months rent for her - she has never accepted the money offered saying that it is a friendship not a money based relationship.

Even though she used to work King Castle 2 for 2 years, if I slept with her all this would change and we would both probably end up having to lie to each other/flattering bullsh*t emails etc plus money issues.

It is definatly worth investing time in cultivating a genuine, non-sexual realtionship with a BG. If you both know it is to be a relationship of a non-sexual/money-transfer-type, you could be pleasantly surprised.