anonymouse Posted December 8, 2001 Report Share Posted December 8, 2001 In the reports section Itsmedave asked the question "I am curious as to what happens to a guys budget when he marries." I've recently purchased/leased a house a few km's outside Chiang Mai and am planning on settling down and marrying my girlfriend. I reckon my costs will be fairly low, having no rent to pay and living outside a main town. But what about having a wife in tow will this up expenses or lessen them? Any guys out there with experience of this let us know. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 8, 2001 Report Share Posted December 8, 2001 anonymouse: It would be in your best intrest to see how large her family is, and figure out if you will be the sole support of all of them. (find out on your own if possible, as a last resort, ask her). Family ties ( no put intended) and pressure ( guilt) is pretty strong in asian culture. whoever in the family makes the $$ is expected to share it to the point of pain. ( and odds are you will be the one with that honor) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 8, 2001 Report Share Posted December 8, 2001 quote: Originally posted by pasathai: anonymouse: It would be in your best intrest to see how large her family is, and figure out if you will be the sole support of all of them. (find out on your own if possible, as a last resort, ask her). Family ties ( no put intended) and pressure ( guilt) is pretty strong in asian culture. whoever in the family makes the $$ is expected to share it to the point of pain. ( and odds are you will be the one with that honor) brrr you send chills up my spine stop it please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 8, 2001 Report Share Posted December 8, 2001 You say you bought / lease a house? Sure? As a farang you cannot own land. You can buy a condo apartment but not the land. Get the documents checked out by someone who reads Thai and has no axe to grind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted December 9, 2001 Report Share Posted December 9, 2001 I think whenever you get married, your costs will go up, you are doing everything for 2, and her family. If you have any kids, then you will really spend...! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 9, 2001 Report Share Posted December 9, 2001 All- I think (since I am not married myself) and based on keen observation that marriage is just like doing a home re-modeling or owning a vintage sports car.. Costs a hell of a lot more than you initially budgeted for! Â --UPSer staying single! (for now) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted December 10, 2001 Report Share Posted December 10, 2001 Getting married is the death knell to wealth. It might seem a good idea when you are young marrying that sweet 20 something cutie, and your both earning. However look to the future, its highly likely that cutie will now be tubbie, sex at best is ration book, she's not working and you are the sole bread winner. Please to all who are read this, dont get married until you are at least 45. People originally got married in their 20's when life expectancy was 42 or something. As VTom put it, can you respect a person who chooses their life partner at age 24, ludicrous isnt it. As men we have the upper hand past 30, because we still have choice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2001 Report Share Posted December 10, 2001 Spirit, You sound selfish. Are you are referring to men aged 45 and looking for marrying that cute 20+ in LOS or are try to marry one cute farang back in London when at age 45?. In the latter case, good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymouse Posted December 11, 2001 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 Thank you gentlemen for your time. It looks like the verdict is out that I'm going to be upping the expenses. pasathai - I've met her family a number of times, luckily not that large. I've made it clear I won't be supporting an extented family.she has made it clear this is a fresh start for her, she has set her family up in a nice house they have a small farmholding and are pretty comfortable. I'm not naive enough to believe that I won't be shelling out now and again that's for sure! coquetislander - yes your right I cannot legally own the land but have taken a 30 year lease on the property in my name the land is in my girlfriends. Lastly spirit of town hall - I'll meet you half way on this I'm 35 have done the bar scene and for a number of reasons have become jaded with it. My girlfriend is 30 we've known each other for about 4 years I spent most of last year living with her in Chiang Mai. I'm willing to take a chance on her future attributes but I'm pretty certain whatever happens she wont turn out like some of the forty something farang women I see [dis]gracing the streets of London. Thanks all for your input. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 11, 2001 Report Share Posted December 11, 2001 quote: Originally posted by anonymouse: I've recently purchased/leased a house a few km's outside Chiang Mai and am planning on settling down and marrying my girlfriend. I reckon my costs will be fairly low, having no rent to pay and living outside a main town. But what about having a wife in tow will this up expenses or lessen them?.... Hi Mouse, There are no general rules about this I guess. There's high maintenance galls in any part of the world. And often you will not find out until it's a little too late. I've been married to a Filipina for 5 years and we always bicker about money. We actually still bickered about money while I was making a 120 thou+ in Nigeria. And this is a gall with a University degree. Two brothers in law run a lawfirm in Manila and once in a while will get a few hundred thousand (pesos) thru a settlement... And will inevitably spend it all within weeks or month. I once asked them about all their "investments" and they openly admitted their "investments" for most part served the purpose of showing off. They sort of achieve what they intend to achieve I guess considering we continuously receive offers to take over one or the other bizz in the 10-30 million peso range. People indeed seem to believe we have that sort of money just lying around. In an environment like that, enough is never enough. And I'm afraid this mentality is extremely widespread in countries like Thailand or Phils (or S'pore etc. etc). Not saying that is absent in US or Europe but in SE Asia it seems quite difficult to escape from it. Sort of "owning" your own place outside CM, basically you should be able to support a family on 500-1000 US$ a month and live very comfy indeed. But you darling future wife may end up feeling completely different about that. Indeed, as somebody mentioned, I also have to cope with "extended family" when in Palawan, effectively doubling my booz expenditure and stuff like that. The "senior" family member (doesn't really have to do with being a farang or "cano", this is a general principle in SE Asia) is always expected to pick up the bill where ever you go (as in *ALLWAYS*). And I happen to be the oldest when in Palawan so I have to bleed. Pretty frustrating I have to admitt. Generally, from observation and personal experience, being married strikes me as surprisingly expensive. A half decent hooker 3-4 times a week is definitely cheaper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.