Guest Posted March 6, 2002 Report Share Posted March 6, 2002 Monkey, I've been in longtime relationsships with BGs and would do it again. The bar was never the problem, even if the BG continued working there. I'm with a non-BG for quite a while now and one of her best sides is letting me do what I want, including nights out in the bars, she even likes to go there herself. For me this is very important, every time in Thailand (I used to live there for many years) I just need to go to the bars, drinking beer, talking to the girls. I guess once the virus got you you become addicted and can never let go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabii Posted March 9, 2002 Report Share Posted March 9, 2002 Fred, "I read your first and last sentence, and nothing in between." That's too bad. You missed some good thoughts. Regards, JEff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted March 9, 2002 Report Share Posted March 9, 2002 Monkey, Glad to read some punters here have a positive view on people. I frequented lots of BG's and am having a nice relationship with one for 3 months now. Ok, 3 months is not a century, but I hope this will last. Only with respect towards other people can we have good relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ants6969 Posted March 10, 2002 Report Share Posted March 10, 2002 There is a lot of sence in what you say Monkey- My view is that computer speak, where we write in a very lazy style and tend to abrieviate comonly used phrases, eg. BG TG GF tends to lead to steriotyping. Yours Ants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 12, 2002 Report Share Posted March 12, 2002 Thanks for the nice words fellas. I guess the whole point was...'normal' girl, bar girl, whatever...don't let any preconceptions get in the road of meeting someone cool. The most open minded guys on these forums actually seem to be guys who are in a relatonship with a BG. It takes a pretty strong bloke to be able to say "the past is over" and not let it bother them who she has been with / how many etc. I really admire any guy who can do that...and many of the girls do deserve the chance. For me, I had to make concessions also. We didn't basically do anything sexual until marriage. (We were engaged for a year) That took a hell of a lot of discipline...and it was extremely difficult for me. I didn't think I could make it at times to be honest. Now...I am really glad I did as things are really good between us.:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted March 14, 2002 Report Share Posted March 14, 2002 I dont think he was lecturing, merely painting a picture of his own experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 18, 2002 Report Share Posted March 18, 2002 Gee Fred why so cranky? it was a good post... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2002 Report Share Posted March 19, 2002 Monkey : Last summer I started dating a non BG Thai woman because I wanted something more than sex . She was reluctant to go out with me at first I think because she thought I just wanted to have sex with her . So our first few dates were group encounters with some of her girlfriends along for movies and dinner which allowed her to relax in familiar company . Then about the 5th date we went out alone and had a good time but I could tell that she was a bit nervous . One evening I suggested that we go to my place to watch videos and talk and she agreed with the disclaimer that no hanky panky ! We had a nice time alone but she still seemed a little uncomfortable so I told her that I did not want to put any pressure on her to have sex with me and that it was totally up to her when and if we took things to that level . We dated for three weeks this way and then came time for me to go home to Canada and she came to the airport to see me off . After I had been home for a week she email;ed me and told me that dating me had done good things for her self esteem because I wanted to get to know her without having sex and leaving that part up to her . We stay in touch over the phone and email and she says she really misses me and hopes that when I return next winter we can be together ! I plan on moving to Thailand in the near future to open up business and maybe we will be together ? All I can say is that I'm glad I took the time to get to know her and I'm happy that in the process she gained better self esteem ! We both had positive results and it shows me that you only get out of something what you are willing to put into it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2002 Report Share Posted March 19, 2002 Great post Lik:-) I know what you waiting would mean to her...and, from my own experience, once you get past that barrier and she knows you respect her and have waited...then it will be really cool between you guys. You have to remember...in their culture, it is VERY common for a 'couple' to be friends for years before anything happens. One of my wife's friends has had a bf now for about 4 years...and they still don't sleep together. My wife just says that it's not a big deal...and having been out with them a few times, I can understand how they are. For me...4 years would have been impossible...but waiting as long as we did showed my girl that I was serious about her and respect her. The flip side of that of that is the wait has proven to be worthwhile since we married:-) And to all...no way did my post intend to come across as a 'lecture'. Sorry if anyone interpreted it that way. As a few people have said...it was just my experiences that I wanted to share. I really like reading everyones experiences...which was what prompted me to post my own... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldian Posted March 25, 2002 Report Share Posted March 25, 2002 almost all the perspectives on this thread have been very well thought and worded, nice to see that we are using the other head for once! I hear a lot of the stereotypes of BG's, and certainly know they are out there, but have been fortunate enough to experience mostly the opposite with the women i have met....i really try to think of it from the other perspective. I mean, think of all of us guys who go out and butterfly and chase poo ying night and day...what do you expect them to think about us,our motives, and our "trustworthiness?" The bar scene is not one in which there is a great deal of trust to begin with, so there is a long way to go to get even close to that.....it really does seem to me that you get out of any relationship what you really put into it, and whether or not what you put in, believe, think, or do gets communicated and vice versa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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