Belem Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 Has anyone with a girlfriend in Thailand they were thinking of marrying ever retained the services of an investigation service or had a friend in Thailand check to see if their girlfriend is still working in the bar and going with other customers and were shocked at what they found out? I am interested to hear any stories anyone may have because I am contemplating the same action. [ May 28, 2001: Message edited by: Belem ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iuytrede Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 read Hsteach's post "Trust" under "Relationships" in the ThaiFalangBoard. He had the girl checked out by a PI and got "raving results". Bad awakening later, though. A bg I know had a British bf, who sent her money whenever and as much as she wanted (he had spent 60000 B on her in 2 weeks in LOS). He stopped sending money when his friends found her still working in the bar. She now has a jap bf who pays a lot more (he has actually sent her to school) and lives in bkk, so she can only occasionally butterfly. Maybe you contact Stickman, he should know a lot of stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 I think stickman still offers this service. If I were to contemplate this again I would rather trust a fellow falang to do the job than a thai, just predjudice I guess. Most such investigations seem to bring the expected bad news, but what would a girlfriend doing a similar investigation find out about one of us?-peter QUOTE]Originally posted by Belem: [QB]Has anyone with a girlfriend in Thailand they were thinking of marrying ever retained the services of an investigation service or had a friend in Thailand check to see if their girlfriend is still working in the bar and going with other customers and were shocked at what they found out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 I suggest reading "PRIVATE DANCER ",you wont be able to put it down. It will enlighten you. You could download it for free a while back. Author Stephen Leather. Chances are she continues working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belem Posted May 29, 2001 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 I know the chances are 95% that a relationship with a bar girl will not work. I also understand that the best way is to get her out of the bar, have the girl go back home to her family in Issaan, work a regular job so she won't get bored, send her no more than $200 a month so she'll be comfortable, and not allow her to associate with her friends in the nightlife scene as the chances are good she'll be pulled back in the bar life. What prompted me to start this discussion was after reading "Private Dancer." I know it's a long shot that the relationship will work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABCinBK Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 Some say get the BG out of the bar and send her back to Issaan. Others say that is not a good option and it's best to keep her in BKK. Issaan seems a better idea as the distance will keep her out of the BKK scene, but if you do it you better have someone verify she's really in Issaan. As most of the villages don't have regular phones and they use cell phones at somebody's house, if you give her a cellphone, how will you know where she really is? And then consider she can still play around, although it would likely be for free or with some form of regular boyfriend back at the village. And it is a lot harder to figure this out vs. investigating if she's working at some bar. Finally, do you really plan on not playing around yourself? Odds are you want something from her you may not be able/wanting to give up yourself --- playing around. Sure, giving less money and just enough for living in Issaan (3-5000 baht), plus another 5000 baht for supporting her family and to make her "rich" in Issaan terms, will make it more of a "test". Yes, she will have to think hard about how she can do much better if she stayed in the barscene too. But consider she does understand the real big payoff is when you marry her and bring her to your country or when you move to LOS for her. She knows this.....I wonder why more experienced sanukers don't mention this. They seem too busy talking about how the girl follows the simpler route of just asking for money on a monthly basis while she's in LOS. You have to remember that while there are the geniune girls, most of the BG's who become ex-BG's are still looking for the big score of a one customer, lifelong, paying non-butterfly relationship. They may call you "husband", but if they are no geniune and I think most will not be, then they just still see you as a customer. And however much someone may be dedicated to customer satisfaction, they are human and will eventually find real love or butterfly out of boredom. The solution. Either stay away from relationships with BG's or at least try your very best to find something that's at least partly geniune. ABC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 quote: Originally posted by Puying Lover: I suggest reading "PRIVATE DANCER ",you wont be able to put it down. It will enlighten you. You could download it for free a while back. Author Stephen Leather. Chances are she continues working. While I think there is some wisdom in Private Dancer, it is also the most cynical, worst-case-scenario paranoia-inducing piece of "literature" on the planet. I wish I had never read it. Many of my friends feel the same, as we find ourselves over-analyzing the crap out of things now. A couple of us were just talking about this the other day -fights with GF's brought on by a "Private Dancer"-induced fit of total paranoia. All for nothing, as we later found out there was nothing to it. The only outcome was a little more tension that never should have been introduced. I'm not saying you shouldn't be careful - there are a lot of games being played, and TG's are excellent at playing them, especially when confronted with a middle-aged Westerner who is starved for affection and willing/wanting to believe anything. But there are also a lot of good girls who are in a bad situation, and you cannot turn them all into the main character in PD - you'll never be able to believe anyone in Thailand again, and that would be a shame. As for moving your girls home to Isaan to keep them out of trouble - frankly, if you have to treat her like a child perhaps you shouldn't be contemplating a serious relationship with her. My TG would be bored to tears back in the rice fields after living in BKK - all her friends are here. When we had this discussion she told me she would move home if I wanted her to but she'd be miserable. I told her to stay right where she was, and that was the last time I mentioned it. If you can't even trust her to live her life while waiting for you, why would you even be considering marriage? Just a thought.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 A PI investigation will prove NOTHING!! It will provide you a general idea of what she's doing while you're away, but in the end you will be back at first base. A PI can only do so much, they cannot trail her 24/7. She may not go with customers at the bar, but what about when she's not at the bar? What about a husband or boyfriend? Think the PI will find these "after hours companions?" Probably not. I DO speak from experience. Relationships should be based on trust. If you cannot or will not trust her, why are you in a relationship with her? That is a hard lesson to learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 I was told by one investigator we all know that 75% of all girls he investigates are doing things they shouldn't be. Food for thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iuytrede Posted May 29, 2001 Report Share Posted May 29, 2001 quote: posted May 29, 2001 06:18 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- consider she does understand the real big payoff is when you marry her and bring her to your country or when you move to LOS for her. She knows this.....I wonder why more experienced sanukers don't mention this. They seem too busy talking about how the girl follows the simpler route of just asking for money on a monthly basis while she's in LOS... most of the BG's who become ex-BG's are still looking for the big score of a one customer, lifelong, paying non-butterfly relationship. They may call you "husband", but if they are no geniune and I think most will not be, then they just still see you as a customer. And however much someone may be dedicated to customer satisfaction, they are human and will eventually find real love or butterfly out of boredom. What makes you think this applies only to BGs? You can say this about many other Thai girls. And not only about Thai girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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