Great Expectations

[bust]

 

I've been watching some of the "HOT TOPICS" lately and have notice two distinct themes. Firstly there seems to be an incredible amount of ignorance to Thai culture and tradition (your's truly included) and secondly I think too men punters expect things from girls they are emotionally incapable of delivering. Any guy over 35 who thinks he can have a deep and meaningful relationship with a 20 year old is kidding themselves. Wether she is a BG or a GTG with a decent job chances are it's just not going to work out. To expect anything different is either naive or just plain dumb. Sure there will be the exceptions but we are talking in generals here. Guys are quick to point the finger at the girl when things go wrong, but hey maybe we just place our own expectations on them, expectation they are incapable of delivering. One thing I have learnt is the difference in class with the TGs. The poor ones who are scent to the bars to sell their pussy so the family can survive are the ones that will most of the time be only interested in your money. Then you have the financially semi-secure who send their daughter to study but she also must try and find a sponsor or two to pay for her living away expenses. If she can manage to send some baht home that is a bonus. I don't see these girls as being much different to the first. Then there are the ones who can afford to send their children to study and pay for their allowance and then are sent O/S to further their studies who eventually will return to a well paid job. Then there are the ones that most of will never even have any contact with. All I'm saying is I think many guys are quick to jump at the chance to point the finger at the girl when things go south , but maybe they need to take a look first at the role they have played wether it be intentional or not.

[Julian2]

We live in one of the first civilisations in recorded history that begrudges an older man a young woman. Even in Victorian times the mistress system was accepted, or at least ignored and it was common for widowers to marry women twenty or thirty years younger than themselves. Few women prior to the twentieth century were given much choice when it came to a husband, marrying into her own class being a more important factor than love. In most cases respect came first, and if the man was decent and caring love followed.

I don't think that a fifteen year age difference is insurmountable here, especially if the guy is in his thirties. Definitely not if the woman is in her forties as in my case. With larger differences, and a thirty or forty year gap is not uncommon among Farangs and Thai girls it largely depends on the lifestyle they lead. I think that the culure difference is more of a problem than age, guys who refuse to accept their wive's way of life are deserving of all they get.

My advice to any one entering into a relationship with a Thai woman is, if you are the one with the money, don't give her an open run at your bank account. Weekly house keeping, assistance to the family, pocket money should be paid as required. Sticking all your dough in her hands is the surest way of finding out if it's true love or not.

[bust]

I was not so much refering to the age difference, more the emotional state of a 20 year old. I really don't think LOS has the exclusive rights on this either. I do however think the P4P factor impacts on it as well.

[buddha]

Now do you think guys visit and have the intention of finding a girlfriend/wife or they visit and just can't get past the girl they find themselves with?

 

I find myself setting and enforcing strict limits on who and how long I can hang out with someone, the exact opposite of visiting with the intention of finding a wife/girlfriend.

 

In this set up niether culture nor age plays a role in mucking up the works. I muck up the works and I am pretty clear about my intentions. Now you might think that that would relegate me to p4p only, but you might be surprised.

 

Still I have great expectations, but they are a bit more day to day and therefore very attainable.

 

It would truly take two special people to make it work out long term. We do hear a good deal of crowing from one side of the coin on this board, but if you consider all of the 'difference' factors: age, culture, language, religion, sex, family, work, etc., and realize that each person is struggling from the opposite perspective on each factor.

 

To make it work, to really make it work, there have to be two very special people involved with one singular goal.

 

Hats off to those who are trying, tried, succeded, or failed....it's just not my cup of tea.

 

Now why is the banana dancing?

[Mekong]

buddha said:

 

 

Hats off to those who are trying, tried, succeded, or failed....it's just not my cup of tea.

 

Now why is the banana dancing?

 

It can very trying on occassions

[buddha]

I would think with a signature like that you would be avoiding the relationships?

[ChristianTroy]

What exactly is dumb an naive to have expectations?

It is dumb and naive to have expectations and not trying to go for it! If you have no expectations and no goals you can never achieve anything! That applies for everything in your life. If you don't try you'll never know!

 

I agree that a 20yo is usually not very mature, but sometimes things look different when you start dating, it might be the pink glasses or the girl is staging a mature person or a combination of both! The point is, if you don't try you don't know for sure.

 

I find it rather stupid to brandmark the girl as immature instead of giving her a chance when there are no warning signals in sight. Beeing 20yo is not a desease! Btw i am not over 35

 

When we are talking about BGs don't you think the girls have way more expectations from us than we have from them?

[bust]

Aren't you a serial offender of that exact idealology CT