Am I Being Had?

[FAT_AUSSIE]

How well do you communicate with each other?

 

Tell her you have heard of another school in BKK that offers simmilar to what she seeks for a quarter of the fee. Pay attention and gauge her reaction. You may learn alot!

 

Fatty...

[yyzfarang]

Guys...thanks for the quick replies. I remain confused! From what I read, I am getting conflicting information. Allow me to regress a bit and give more facts.....

 

When she brought her daughter to BKK two weeks ago, she did so without mentioning this sum of money to me. She was either being very presumptious on her behalf that I would help and if this were the case, that would make her an irresponsible mother in the event I would not/could not help. I would never call her an irresponsible mother. She mentioned this money to me early last week.

 

When I spoke with her daily I always heard the daughter in the background, very rambunctious and noisy little devil! My woman told me Friday past that she was going to the school on Saturday to check it out with the daughter.

 

When I spoke with her Saturday evening BKK time she raved about the school and how the amount of money included 4 uniforms and a gym uniform so on, so forth. BTW it is worthwhile for me to note that she is staying with her sister in the suburbs of BKK and that the daughter will remain with her mother's sister once she begins school. My woman will then return to her room in downtown BKK where the daughter will join her on weekends.

 

Okay, again all times here are BKK.....Monday afternoon I get a call about 2pm (nice being awoken at 2am) from my lady who is at Big C grocery shopping. The daughter was not with her. Tuesday evening I speak with her; she had gone to her room downtown to collect a package of gifts I had mailed to her. She told me she went alone and spent 6 hours at her room including catching a nap and watching one of the DVD's I sent her. Wednesday morning I am talking to her on the phone, the house is very quiet. I know she is at her sister's because I hear the dog in the background. I ask where is daughter, am told she's in the yard playing. Finally, Thursday morning I am talking to her again and I ask where is daughter (house very quiet again) and am told she's in the shower with her aunt. After we finish our conversation, I get an SMS from my woman wishing me "sweet dreams" (it's 9pm here in Canada) and that she too is going to lay down. It hits me like a ton of bricks....the kid is in school!!!

 

No doubt in my mind that she made the arrangements Saturday and that she started school on Monday. No joiner fee, just a bold faced lie as far as I'm concerned. Trying to milk me out of about $1200 CAD. Your thoughts? Hope I haven't lost you with my diatribe.......

[AF16]

My thoughts are that you mistrust her.

 

That should tell you something, something about you, her or the relationship.

 

Some go through the route of contacting the school them self and paying directly to the school, with the possibility of the student/mother to stop school and get money back. The question is if you think it's an acceptable solution to have a relationship like that, and if not what would have to change to make you happy?

[thalenoi]

Me thinks you really should find out where the kid is. Would you accept such lies? I definitely would not want to base a relationship on lies.

 

How come she does not take care of the kid?

What does she have to do down town, away from the bars?

 

Christ, I see so many farangs stick with a TG and take care of the baby produced by a thai man.

[bushpilot]

I've heard of schools costing a hefty bribe to get in. But for a 3 year old?

Kids are expensive.

40000 is chump change..

 

But what are your intentions? Are you going to marry her and bring her and the kid to Canada?

If your woman is still living out of her room chances are she is still a player. For most BGs it's perfectly normal to dangle a few farang along. It's how they get by.

 

From the info you've provided this is probably the scenario.

 

In the future you might be better off just going to Pattaya your next trip and just rent a couple of stunner gogo girls for a week or two. It will be cheaper in the long run.

[Guest]

What's the name of the school? Private message me if you want anything checked out...

 

My personal feeling is this sounds dodgy as hell, are you absolutely sure the daughter is here?

 

You are supposed to be 'in a relationship', which means consultation and agreement. Her presumption (if this is real) is appalling...no consultation and you get the bill, that's beyond rude, it's downright insulting...her behaviour demonstrates a total lack of respect. At best it indicates your position in the relationship, just above that of an ATM, at worst she may totally disrespect you and be taking you for an enormous ride...

 

I'd not even entertain a relationship with such a person, but that's just me, i believe wholeheartedly in equality and respect. If you are an older guy, then there maybe reasons why you accept this behaviour. I wouldn't, from anyone.

 

40k is a lot...this needs checking out first...sure there are schools with such fees, but they are not easy to get into and why has your other half chosen such an expensive option? When other less expensive ones are available....

[elef]

I'm not sure about this, but I've heaard something like this, my friend's thai/farang son soon 4 y o, started school in Pattaya at the age of 2 or so. What I understand it's a public school but that that school has international classes (phillippin teachers), for these they charge fees about the amounts mentioned in the OP. Real international schools charge 5-10 times more according to the lady.

[soongmak]

I agree with Zombie, it doesn't sound so good.

I especially don't like the fact that the daughter doesn't stay with her. Why is that? Does she have a day job? or is she... (You fill in the blanks). Either way, I would't want a GF who doesn't want to take care of her own kids, unless there is a very special reason.

 

With regards to the school, I have another option and that is to suggest that you want to pay the fee directly to the school. Let her ask the school to fax you the bill, then see what happens...

[OCgringo]

I will ask it another way,

 

why is she still in Bangkok ?

does she have a good paying regular job ?

 

Even with a good job , the cost of living in Bangkok will eat up all the money,

 

So if she really quit the bar scene you would think she would go back to her village to raise her girl ,

 

I smell a rat .....

 

OC

 

but as Old Hippie says "my girl is different"

[yyzfarang]

At the risk of looking and sounding like more and more of an idiot, I will try to fill in some of the blanks that the respondents have brought up. She was working, with my full knowledge, at Nana up until the time I returned to BKK in October. At that time we agreed she would quit the bar. In turn, I would provide support for her and she would attempt to find "an honest job."

 

The day after I left to return to Canada, she took the bus upcountry, a pre-arranged trip, to visit her parents and her daughter. The trip lasted for 10 days. During that time she informed me that her mother and her daughter were to be coming to BKK for three days the week after she returned from her trip.

 

Prior to the visit by her mother and daughter, she called me excited that she had arranged with her sister, who lives in the Bangkok suburbs, for her daughter to live with her and go to school close-by and on weekends come to stay with my lady in her downtown room. One thing I have not mentioned is that the daughter is half-farang and my woman lost her husband in an accident two years ago. I have no reason to not believe this for a variety of reasons. It was when she lost her husband that the girl was forced to send her daughter up north and in turn she started working at Nana.

 

Anyhow, my lady hung out at her room near Sukhumvit for a couple of days after returning from the village and then headed out to her sister's for the impending visit by her mother and daughter. She has been there for two weeks now and I do not doubt this at all.

 

Last week when the girl arrived I spoke with her on the telephone on more than one occasion. I got daily updates from my woman on the adjustment process for them both. She's there, that's a no-brainer. I have to believe, however, that the daughter has started school this week and that there is no joiner fee required. Tonight when I call (Friday morning in BKK) I am going to ask to talk to the daughter. We'll see if she's home or not. If not, I can only presume she is at school.

 

With respect to the alleged payment for the school, as suggested by one of you I am indeed going to ask for the school details and have them invoice me directly. This way, if it is in fact legit, I will likely come good for it as I earlier promised. The money is no good to her if it goes directly to the school. If an excuse is made up not to do it this way, then I will deal with it accordingly.

 

Thanks again to all for your valued input!