buddha Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 My number two regular [often rated number one] scored one hell of a sponser and it has changed the dynamic of our 'relationship' dramatically. Background: I usually see this girl a couple times a week, usually in the daytime. I had been a frequent customer of the bar where she worked and barfined her a couple times. We got along nicely and she seemed to understand that I wanted to be a 'regular' customer. We also lived within walking distance of one another so some of these get togethers are purely innoccent: a quick meal, a couple beers at a local foodstand, etc. I usually will take her with me when I need a translator, to help negotiate at the market, and she borrows my motorbike pretty often. She dresses very nice and in one would be surprised to find out what she does for a living after being around her for a bit. Other than the fact that I someimes pay her for sex [and I'm not complaining yet] we have a really nice thing going. Like I stated earlier I am 100% in favor of being a customer. She is the type of girl who really starts to get familiar and is very likable. Several times I have had to remind myself and her that I want to remain being a 'customer'. She understood this clearly up, sometimes pouted a bit, until Mr. Perfect showed up. Mr. Perfect visits Thailand often. He doesn't stay long and he overpays like nobodys business. I won't get into any age or physical description so please don't ask. At first she basically up and disappeared. I did in fact miss her, but understood that this is the way of this world, so I quickly began making preperations to 'draft' a new rookie. Someone to fill the void. A new team member so to speak. Thats when the shit hit the fan. I was on top of a new recruit when her signature loud-double knock rang through the apartment. Military types know what I'm referring to. I didn't answer [what do you do in these situations] and she went away. The next day she showed up and informed me of her new set up. No more working in the bar, XXXX amount of cash per month, dates when Mr. Perfect would be back, what he was like, where he was from, etc etc. This is great I thought...I mean I was delighted that she would be getting ahead. I hadn't yet thought of what it would mean to me. Now that she has a steady income outside the bar she has been my shadow. She slept at my apartment all week. She calls me tilac and makes reference to me being her boyfriend and him as the customer. We don't have wild sex anymore we 'sleep' together. Sure she is warm and cudly but...and we do actually still have sex....but you know what I mean. Next week Mr. Perfect is taking her to her hometown. All week she is trying to stitch me up with her friends so that i am not out playing the ponies. I have tried to talk to her but she gets sullen and goes into the fake crying routine. I explain I want to be customer....and she won't take cash anymore. Seems like an ideal situation but I had the ideal situation a week ago.... Moral: Don't sponser girls, you will ruin my day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderlust Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 I think you need to tell her the score ASAP or it will drag on and get worse for you both. Don't flatter yourself too much - I'm sure she can live without you. Or if you want to keep her be man enough to dictate the terms because at the moment it sounds like she has you on a leash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 Don't worry, she'll be whisked off to farang land and unhappily married soon enough, then you'll never see her again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted June 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 you both raise good points... As far as the leash goes...this was a complete surprise. I understand the flattery point as well. I would like to continue to see her, but on a limited basis. Faustian...thats not the solution I'm looking for....but you are probably right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomah Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 I love these threads... Seems like people are always trying to convince themselves that they're the one the girl really love while the other guy is just a sucker. Maybe in not some many words but that's the feel I get. Honestly, I agree with wonderlust... Sounds like leash action to me. If you really like this girl why not admit it & commit to her? See where it goes from there, I hope it works out. As far as going to falang land & being unhappily married... Another one I hear all the time. Fact is I know several Thais here, all happily married (as far as an outside observer and good friend in some cases can see). Sometimes folks that live in LoS seem so jaded; guess it comes with the territory. I know you like to think so but simply living there doesnâ??t always give you the â??Home courtâ? advantage. Too many variables at play. Like I said if you really care for the girl you should go for it. You say you only want to be a customer but I doubt it, itâ??s hard to be that detached. Good luck to the both of you; I sincerely hope it works out in the end. Ahui hou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drogon Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 I have "sponsored" my lady between the moment she left her soi 33 bar and the time I relocate to BKK. So, I sponsored her during 2 months. -> since then no problems at all but I also have to mention that she did not happen to have other sponsors......so your problem is a bit different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted June 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2007 < no further commentary /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Boomah, the unhappily married bit comes from the obvious. Young twenty something TG marries often much older, often not attractive, often not socially functional farang man, based purely on money. An extended form of prostitution if you like. Maybe i missed the classes on 'love' when i was younger, but love is not a financial arrangement afaik. Sure there are exceptions. I've met quite a few. I'm sure there are lots of BGs who like old short fat balding men, who are socially inept However, any relationship where the single most important factor is financial is doomed to failure, be it long term or short term. If you could see inside the minds of the TGs, i know what is presented externally is often not the same as what is kept private internally. Many TGs who are ex-BGs bide their time back in farangland. When they've accumilated enough dough, they are out of there! Consider further such variables as leaving your own country and culture, going to somewhere totally alien, then living without friends or family. It creates a passified individual. Until the time when enough is known or accumilated... Maybe the TGs you know aren't ex-BGs and they are all married to 'handsome young men'...in which case that's a rarity and the best of luck to all concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 My dear buddha, That's really bad news for you. Maintaining a long lasting "customer relationship"? Yes I believe many had many years like that, but as others said, it might be over and you will need to cut or loose. What I don't like is this: "We don't have wild sex anymore we 'sleep' together. Sure she is warm and cudly but...and we do actually still have sex....but you know what I mean." And No, I don't know what you mean. I am in my 6th year with an ex-bg, just returned back to LOS 3 days ago from a one month absence (I need to do this twice a year and do stay with her 10 months/year) The sex just get heavier every time I come back, I always think we have reached the limit, but the marker get set higher every time. We are both totally exhausted right now and sex this afternoon will be worse than what we experienced this morning. So I don't give shit for the remarks here concerning money being the driving force and blablabla. I am having the biggest blast of my life, lasting almost 6 years. Don't now if many can say something like that. There is no advice I can give you though. I am affraid you are close to loosing her. NOt sure wether that's good or bad in this situation. I wish you good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panadolsandwich Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 My number two regular [often rated number one] scored one hell of a sponser and it has changed the dynamic of our 'relationship' dramatically. I think this opening paragraph tells the story most adequately. It shows that the girl is still a BG. She has found a better target. You are on the backburner (but still very likeable of course). Ultimately, she would engineer it such that you didn't even see a hiccup in so called proceedings - except a bigger fish came by - too irresistible and succulent for her to ignore. I know you desire, and perhaps crave that she might like you for who you are - however you distance yourself from that when you explicitly have to give her money. It sounds like you really do have a fledgling relationship going; despite all this. Is this what you want? If that's the case - then by all means tell her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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