YimSiam Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 negative YimSiam. I have about 30 days of clean livin under my belt. I have maintained a rigorous workout schedule throughout my doldrum period and I look and feel surprisingly well. I just got a good look at the P4P from a different perspective and do not get that much enjoyment out of it anymore. I find it a tad bit on the depressing side. This was all pointed out to me by a friend one night while I was sitting at nana and then later cowboy. On my next couple of visits I found myself concentrating on things behind the scenes, drab monotonous lifestyles, and how my behavior may have effected some of my 'regulars'. One in particular. I don't feel that I have done anything wrong or violated anyone, I just caught a glimpse of the P4P scene from a different viewpoint and do not want to structure my life around it. Copy that, buddha. Yes, then I can see you retiring successfully - with a slip here and there, perhaps when the p4p lines are not so clearly drawn... I find no thrill in p4p when I'm sober, and I also see the depressing side of the scene, as you describe, but much more so, I see the depressing side of me (a bit of which you also allude to - treating others poorly - but also just wondering what the hell i'm doing living the p4p life and when I'll grow out of it). But if I'm not sober - and I'm not - then P4P is damn near guaranteed when I'm in Bangkok. No matter how lame an idea taking home a lower Suk latenight denizen seems at 7 or 8 pm, by 4 am it the concept appears to me like a stroke of genius... good luck with the good life - YimSiam (Did you ever see the Freak Brothers comic book? There's a fantastic one called The Freak Brothers Come Down, or something like that, where these hippie guys finally sober up - their life and world suddenly becomes clear and horrible to them, though they respond by getting f*cked up again, rather than by changing themselves. Anyway, just a note for those Freak Brothers fans out there...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted August 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 I was a freak brothers fan...hadn't thought of that for a while, and no I had never seen that issue. Note: I'm not judging anyone in this thread but me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 I....Note: I'm not judging anyone in this thread but me. Thank fuck for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted August 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 The banana has stopped dancing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encore Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Bibblies: > The only thing that will stop it is age, not boredom. I'll get older, will (maybe) have a smaller libido, will find it less fun as I get less attention compared to younger men, etc. < Yes, the age does interfere with libido a bit, and also maybe the booze. Sometimes I lookk for fun company, and a pleasant bedpartner, sometimes primarily for a hot f..k. Last few years, I find myself looking more for the former then the latter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbull Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 buddha, I know exactly how you feel, it is the same shit repeating itself over and over - the dream carries on until you get too old to carry it off and all that is left... well, nothing really. You either fast exit or get dragged down to the same level as the b-gals. I am retiring soon to... England! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Libido was just a bloody nuisance most of the time. Better off with a good book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted August 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 ummm, had a bit of a relapse this evening....I actually never saw it coming....was the best two hours of my life so far. Tomorrow is another day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encore Posted August 11, 2007 Report Share Posted August 11, 2007 Ummm, You would have been the only one on this board that DIDN'T see it coming. But i do understand. I spent Friday running around town doing errands etc, flying out in the evening. half an hour to spare, I sat down at the bar on the corner of NEP, just for a beer before cathing a cab to airport. NO INTENTIONS. 15 minutes later I'm in bed in the short time room with a 30 year old working in that bar. Talking about a quickie! But well worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibblies Posted August 11, 2007 Report Share Posted August 11, 2007 I find no thrill in p4p when I'm sober, and I also see the depressing side of the scene, as you describe, but much more so, I see the depressing side of me (a bit of which you also allude to - treating others poorly - but also just wondering what the hell i'm doing living the p4p life and when I'll grow out of it). But if I'm not sober - and I'm not - then P4P is damn near guaranteed when I'm in Bangkok. No matter how lame an idea taking home a lower Suk latenight denizen seems at 7 or 8 pm, by 4 am it the concept appears to me like a stroke of genius... When it seems lame to you, think of how you'll feel when you're really old. When you're 90 years old, on your deathbed, are you going to be regretting the times you DID have sex? I think not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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