Land of Fleecing

[Guest]

It usually takes a while to get back into 'Fleecing Mode.' A fleecing back home is an absolute rarity, and so as soon as you hit Bangkok, its important to get in the 'mode.' The 'mode' involves stopping a minute to think about each transaction - before any money leaves your palm, you have to consider "Am I being fleeced."

Of course, the Thais will give you free practice as soon as you get in the country. After clearing customs at Don Muang, your first mission is to find a fucking taxi with a fucking working metre. Which isn't easy, because they've got 'officials' organising the cab cues, apparently allocating cabs on the basis of 'fleecibility.' Then they drive down the ramp, tapping their little metre, oh - no work. My response is 200baht including the highway tax to Soi Nana, or I'm out of the cab - works every time, as soon as you open the door the deal is made. Of course they try to argue about whether the price included tax at the other end, to which the only response is to give him the 200 (better have the right money) and quietly leave the cab.

The thing is, it never ends. Is it possible to take a taxi to a massage parlour without paying what can only be considered as the 'dickhead surchage' Its great to see first timers with their fucking taxi driver sitting in the lounge with them, 'helping' them to select a lady for the night, or perhaps two? I've found there's only one way to rid yourself of the taxi scurge, and it involves a bit of leg work.

It gets so predictable, I often enjoy bating the fleecing pricks a bit. Tell them your staying on soi nana, first time in Thailand, ask him if he's seen the grand palace before cause its real nice, ask him if you can really buy a woman in Thailand, say that you like Thai massage, etc. Act like you've never heard of 'Mona Lisa' or 'Hassan' Are they nice places? If you're not already there, you're on your way.

I once told a guy about 8 times in the cab I didn't want a massage, the prick followed me to a restaurant, waited outside. I went out once and told him he wasn't required. But sure enough the dickhead sat there. When it was time to leave I just stood outside the restaurant, not looking at the guy. He beeped at me a couple of times, but still I just acted like I couldn't hear it. The guys out the front who had seen this guy drop my off said, "Hey, you friend." I asked them "who's friend" they said "your friend" I said "no, not my friend." This was really starting to piss him off, and he was fucking beeping and carrying on, and drove right up next to me.

I just said to him "look mate, I told you I didn't need your services, I told you to go, so its up to you."

He looked like he was about to cry, and just started wimpering something about massage. So this sad performance didn't degenerate further, I decided I was going to make it quite clear that this guy wasn't required."

So I gave him the "Mee ow Krup" "Kup kun Krup" and then the "Ba, Krup" and "Lahgon" really slowly and really loud. The Thai guys just started laughing and having a go at the guy as well because he was just looking so pathetic, and they were also mimicing my pore thai. Got the point across though.

This post was going to be about fleecing generally, but I've been stuck on taxis, I'm sure everyone on this board has a stack of fleecing stories - surely voluminous subject matter.

[fatbastard33]

Originally posted by aypenarin:

"After clearing customs at Don Muang, your first mission is to find a fucking taxi with a fucking working metre. Which isn't easy, because they've got 'officials' organising the cab cues, apparently allocating cabs on the basis of 'fleecibility.' Then they drive down the ramp, tapping their little metre, oh - no work. My response is 200baht including the highway tax to Soi Nana, or I'm out of the cab - works every time, as soon as you open the door the deal is made. Of course they try to argue about whether the price included tax at the other end, to which the only response is to give him the 200 (better have the right money) and quietly leave the cab."

This year I must have caught 10 taxis from the taxi stand at the airport and I have never had any problems with the meter. They always seem to be working and the drivers are more than happy to use them.

I think giving the driver 200 baht from the airport (including tollway fees) is a bit mean. What with the tollway fees of 60 Baht (I think) plus the surcharge of 50 Baht from the airport you are assuming a meter charge of 90 Baht. Has anybody ever got a taxi from the airport to Soi Nana for 90 Baht? Maybe 8 years ago but not today.

Also with the "officials" organising the cab queues are we talking about the 2 little cutties who write out the tickets as to which hotel you are going to? I have often fantasised about doing the Evil Deed with them. However, in future I will realise they are there to try and fleece me .

Fatbastard33

[Guest]

I think that "fleecing mode" is a good way to put it. Spending most of our lives in the West, we become conditioned not to think much about counting our change when we get it back, assuming banks would never try to cheat us, expecting a respectable store to sell us good-quality mercandise, etc. All of this makes us easy marks in the Land of Smiles/Scams until we can switch over to "fleecing mode".

While a person can get scammed anywhere in the world, I think we keep our defences down in the West because the effort that we put into being on our guard all the time is not worth the amount of money we may lose very occassionally because of it.

It has taken me 3 trips to the LOS to be fully aware of the scams that have been attempted on me, and even then I am not sure if I have seen them all.

JG

[spirit_of_town_hall]

Those people at the airport in the coloured blazers, if you tell them you want a taxi initially you will be directed to a boothe where it costs 600 baht.

You have to dig out the other stand where it costs 300 baht.

I have been quoted 600 baht by a taxi outside nana to the airport.

[Ashman]

When you arrive at the airport take the lift to departures go outside where people are arriving in taxis, grab one, no 50 baht tax, no problem with the meter, no problem.

[Guest]

I live a few hundred meters deeper into Soi 4 than NEP. I do the airport to Soi 4 taxi trip from the airport 2-5 times per month. I always use the taxi stand outside the terminal. 70 baht tollway, 141-151 baht fare (depending on traffic delays), plus 50 baht airport surcharge. I always pay 270 baht total. I've now made about 60 such trips in 18 months. Never had a single problem. To avoid the loop Soi 1 to Bumrungrad to Soi 3 to Soi 4 (due to one-way streets), I tell them Sukhumvit Soi 5, and get out and walk the last few hundred meters. I could care less about the 10 extra baht, but I do care about the extra 15 minutes, if traffic is bad.

Cheers!

B-Fly BKK

[Pom Michael]

The airport taxi scams are from the past.

Look for the sign that says "Public Taxis". It is located right when you exit the main arrival halls.

Tell the person in the booth where you are going, and they give you a postcard type receipt that lists the taxi's registration number. This pre-addressed postcard is for your use, not to give to the taxi driver. If there is a problem, complaint, suggestion or praise, you write on it and send to the address that is pre-printed on the postcard.

The Airport surcharge is THB 50, the tolls are THB 70 (if you chose to use both expressways into town) and then the meter fare.

If you want to talk scams, try to get a taxi from LAX airport to your hotel !

[Guest]

"fucking taxi"

Dam, all along I've only been able to get a regular taxi, next time I'll have to look for a fucking taxi. ( do they charge extra for the fucking)

 

sorry, coundn't resist

 

I have found for more than 3 people going to the airport, ordering a minivan ( we call the asia hotel) is a better deal than a taxi.

Beats the odds of getting a crappy taxi ( as apposed to a fucking taxi) or a driver with the mario andretti syndrom

[follies]

Leaving aside the "fleecing" bit for now...

Guys, it's all relative. Personally, I have no problem paying 300 Baht (less than $7) from the airport to Sukhumvit, especially when the painful memory of the $60 taxi ride to the airport in Houston is still fresh in my mind. If you are on business (ie, someone else is paying), the limo service is well worth it for 600 or 650 baht - usually a mercedes (or similar) with real working A/C, a driver who normally keeps it under Mach 3 (great comment, by the way) and who will usually know the best (ie fastest) way to the hotel. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I hit Bangkok, the last thing I want to do is spend time in a taxi!!!

[Guest]

Follies :

Definitly, no fun suffering in a little taxi, with crappy air cond. ( and some have that deoderizer stinky stuff,,, makes you wonder just what other smell they are trying to cover up)