pattaya127 Posted April 11, 2002 Report Share Posted April 11, 2002 this question to the guys who are in a LT relationship with a BG or freelancer, and really to those who have been in a relationship that failed (farangbaa, phoenix, worldwalker, take up your pen). Away from having had fun with her, and happening in beloved Thailand, what is it that made you go the long way with your thai GF? Was there really love at some point? I have been with my GF for 2 years. We have had numerous break-ups, and we always get back together, and i could find many peripheral reasons why i enjoy being with her, even when we are like cats and dogs but to explain why i love her is very hard. I just feel, very early in our relation, there has been a bond, an attraction, beyond all cultural gaps, that makes it worth all the troubles we've been thru. Sometimes i think that our different personalities makes us complementary, and the striving to still be together adds up to it. Is that enough? Moreover, I could find 99 other reasons that separate us totally, and still, it's like i have become part of her as she has become part of me. Either i am a total fool (would not surprise me!) or this is the real stuff. And i can't tell why, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 11, 2002 Report Share Posted April 11, 2002 pattaya127, IMHO, stop for a moment and don't think of this woman as a thai girl. and then reflect on what you wrote: "We have had numerous break-ups" There's probably a good reason for the break-ups. Take that as a hint on move on. There's too many lovely ladies in LOS to spend your time working on something that doesn't seem to be working. good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 11, 2002 Report Share Posted April 11, 2002 Quote: And i can't tell why, really. If I rembember right, there was a song in the 80 "I wanna know what love is?". Up until now I am not aware that somebody answered this question. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 11, 2002 Report Share Posted April 11, 2002 The first trips to back LOS in 97 after being away for 15 yrs were under very different circumstances from today?s and the fatal love/marriage encounter of before seems unreal, out of place, out of context and character and that mind set doesn?t apply any more and has little value except for the marginal help it may offer to others at different points of the cycle. sudden immersion into the ways of a new culture in a family setting require adjustments that aren?t thought through well if at all. Periodic trips to and from LOS saying goodbye to a sweetheart at the airport cultivate a very different frame of mind from a permanent lifestyle. Forced absence from a cute 18 year old fans the flames of lunacy and I?m happy I don?t do that any more. Living in a new country it takes a while to adapt and the new orientation has more value when alone and not influenced by a family whose style and needs distort and once alone the monogamous style bred by 17 yrs of marriage to 3 us/thai wives gradually loosens and is finally sloughed off. Then we can get back to being ourselves again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted April 11, 2002 Report Share Posted April 11, 2002 >Away from having had fun with her, and happening in beloved Thailand, what is it that made you go the long way with your thai GF? Was there really love at some point? < I have asked myself that question many times, and haven't got an answer yet. I think I may need a bit of time and distance between the events of the last few months to reflect on it. I think now it wasn't really love, it was an infatuation, not with the person, but with an insane experience, so totally opposite from my 'normal life', so complete different, that it enchanted me. I've felt like Alice through the looking glass. I enjoyed much of my time with Nok, I sometimes felt very warm when I thought of her, or was with her, I sometimes got very randy, and other times really concerned about her future prospects, wanted to 'care for her'. In fact, I did care for her, at times very much. But "love"?? No! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted April 11, 2002 Report Share Posted April 11, 2002 Hard to say here, but I guess if love were a rational act, it would be far less difficult, and I suppose far less magical. If you are happy and it works, then stay there! If you are not, then move on. But if something is keeping you there, and you have no idea what...well, it is all part of the magic called love...and life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodthaigirl Posted April 12, 2002 Report Share Posted April 12, 2002 >We have had numerous break-ups, and we always get back together, < Who said sorry to who first? Try to think why you got back together in the first place might help? It reminds me of a couple living not far away from me when I was young. The husband was a taxi driver and the wife stayed at home. They fought almost everyday but they stayed together for a long time. They had many kids as well. Old people say that a couple who get quarrel often usually have lots of kids because they seem to make up often and BOOM !!! Well...the saying sure began when there were no contraception and condoms available Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted April 12, 2002 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2002 Hey, GTG, enough of the impartial comments, however we welcome them. We want to hear about YOUR lovelife, and no less than 20lines!!!! Come on, we guys put ourselves out on this list, so no more sitting on the fence and neighbours stories: Tell us your stories. Maybe, who knows? They are happy ones and you could change, ever so slightly, the very low opinion i have of thai men (in general, that is). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted April 12, 2002 Report Share Posted April 12, 2002 Yeah GTG, come on, no big deal! We are all friends here! I could really use a few pointers on how to have a decent relationship, as I have no clue! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted April 12, 2002 Report Share Posted April 12, 2002 We each go through trying and difficult relationships. My last thai relationship (not a true BG) lasted 5 years and we also had numerous break-ups and back together agains. What I learned is people get back together again because of the convenience and comfortability vs the unknown out there. I learn it doesn't make for a healthy relationship and now I am entering relationships with the mentality of cutting your losses asap. Being alone and searching is much better than being in less than quality relationships. Absence makes the desire more stronger so being in a poor relationship just removes the thirst but not quench the need for intrinsic satisfaction. Don't sell yourself short. Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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