Flashermac Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 AR-RAQQAH, SYRIA—Frustrating the Islamic extremist group’s efforts to bolster its ranks and expand its influence overseas, representatives for ISIS told reporters Wednesday that they have so far encountered considerable difficulty in finding American recruits who are physically fit enough for jihad. “We’ve been in communication with a number of U.S. citizens who are eager to join in our holy crusade, but unfortunately, not one of them is in decent enough shape to effectively wage war against the West,†said ISIS operative Bakir Hamdani, pointing to a general lack of athleticism among the hundreds of potential American recruits, as well as respiratory ailments and dependencies on a variety of diabetes, blood pressure, and allergy medications that preclude these would-be jihadists from assisting in the establishment of a worldwide Sunni caliphate. “Even though these people are enthusiastic about righteous martyrdom, I honestly don’t see most of them even fitting into a suicide vest, let alone lugging a 40-pound rocket launcher through the desert. The thing is, we can’t inflict terror into the hearts of the masses if our fighters are always doubled over red-faced and winded.†Hamdani added that ISIS’ best course of action was to allow these overweight, sedentary American operatives to continue burdening the U.S. health care system in hopes of eventually bankrupting the nation. http://www.theonion.com/articles/isis-having-difficulty-finding-american-recruits-p,37068/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview%3A1%3ADefault Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 It has been the plan of the USA all along...get everyone in the USA pudgy so they can't join these groups Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Nothing new they have known about this for nearly two years .... all Americans are obese even the American soldiers http://rt.com/usa/ob...y-soldiers-791/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Don' need to walk, to pilot a drone from a playstation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Nothing new they have known about this for nearly two years .... all Americans are obese even the American soldiers http://rt.com/usa/ob...y-soldiers-791/ Hey....I resemble that remark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unit731 Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 Come on now. If it wasn't for the Yanks - you'd be still typing on a typewriter ! And the Yanks invented that too ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Take your pick... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typewriter In 1575 an Italian printmaker, Francesco Rampazzetto, invented the 'scrittura tattile', a machine to impress letters in papers. In 1714, Henry Mill obtained a patent in Britain for a machine that, from the patent, appears to have been similar to a typewriter. In 1802 Italian Agostino Fantoni developed a particular typewriter to enable his blind sister to write. In 1808 Italian Pellegrino Turri invented a typewriter. He also invented carbon paper to provide the ink for his machine. In 1823 Italian Pietro Conti di Cilavegna invented a new model of typewriter, the 'tachigrafo', also known as 'tachitipo'. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Latham_Sholes Christopher Latham Sholes[2] (February 14, 1819 – February 17, 1890) was an American inventor who invented the first practical typewriter and the QWERTY keyboard still in use today.[3] He was also a newspaper publisher and Wisconsin politician. http://www.typewriter.be/missinvention.htm First real machine Who is the first real inventor of a truly existing typewriter? We will never know. Is it the Viennese count Reipperg (1760), the Swiss Jacquet (1780), the Frenchman Pingeron (1784), or the Italian Pietro Conti with his 'Tachigrafo' (1823)? Fact is, however, that in 1808, Pellegrino Turri supplied a typewriter to a blind countess whose letters have been preserved! First American The first American inventor of typewriters is William Austin Burt, who, in 1829, applies for a patent on his 'Typographer'. This writes on a long strip of paper (as a Dymo now). There is a kind of clock at the front, which indicates when you have more or less filled a page. Yet Burt does not succeed in getting any manufacturers enthusiastic about his invention. He puts it away and focuses his attention on other inventions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baa99 Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Y'all realize The Onion is a satirical website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted October 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Shhhh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YimSiam Posted October 8, 2014 Report Share Posted October 8, 2014 Y'all realize The Onion is a satirical website. As is, more or less, RT.com, cited above... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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