kamui Posted November 19, 2002 Report Share Posted November 19, 2002 I had a few posts at the end of this summer, concerning a BG I met and I fell in love with. Since a few weeks my feelings for her faded away almost completely. I presume it?s a story told a thousand of times mainly for one main reason: I don?t speak any Thai and she has only the BG´s limited English vocabulary which is not enough for writing emails longer than 2 sentences and the customary ?love you always?. Which means we can?t share any stories, thoughts, plans, problems e.g. and therefore we are not able to bridge our completely different cultures and lifestyles. After having received only some very limited answers on my questions about her daily life e.g. I felt more and more uneasy. And in addition to that her responses got slower and slower recently. I don?t want to hurt her, but I feel the need to tell her it?s over, even I have booked my next trip to LOS on Christmas and asked her if we could travel together. Sometimes I think its better that it ends before we develop a deeper relationship. I live and work in a kind of better educated, intellectual and international environment (unfortunately not earning real money from this ) to which my beautiful and very kind Issan girl would have very big problems to adapt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted November 19, 2002 Report Share Posted November 19, 2002 >we can't share any stories, thoughts, plans, problems e.g. and therefore we are not able to bridge our completely different cultures and lifestyles. That's what we should think about before hand. But we don't. >I don't want to hurt her, but I feel the need to tell her it's over From your story it's unclear whether she was dependant on you in any way (financial, before all). If that's the case, it's going to cause her some trouble. If it was email and ocassional phone call relationship, she won't be hurt too much, if at all. Slow, inadequate and far apart responses may indicate you are being kept on the backburner for always welcome repeat business. From the story, it does not point to any deeper feelings on her part. Since you liked her, at this level of commitment, I would think you can come, stay, go, email, call, come again, go...for as long as she is in business... no need to explain much, especially not "it's over" exercise. If you don't feel like seing her again, just disconnect and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted November 19, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2002 From your story it's unclear whether she was dependant on you in any way (financial, before all). If that's the case, it's going to cause her some trouble. No, she isn?t depending on my money. For this our relationship was much to short. Slow, inadequate and far apart responses may indicate you are being kept on the backburner for always welcome repeat business Yep, that?s what could be her idea since a few weeks. From the story, it does not point to any deeper feelings on her part. Since you liked her, at this level of commitment, I would think you can come, stay, go, email, call, come again, go...for as long as she is in business... no need to explain much, especially not "it's over" exercise. If you don't feel like seeing her again, just disconnect and move on. I prefer to disconnect. TTM, thanks for the advice. I think you describe the situation very well. Actually, I was cautious from the beginning, but I gave the relationship a try, maybe to learn a little bit more about myself and this (for me new) kind of relationship. Now I know that I will try to avoid a relationship with a Thai girl with very basic education and no English skills. This is not meant deprecatingly, but for me the social and cultural gap is just too wide. Especially, because I know that I will never live in Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 20, 2002 Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 Long distant relationships are extremely hard to keep going even if there was a genuine long term relationship before seperation. Holiday romances (particularily if they are the hooker/customer type) are almost impossible to sustain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted November 20, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 Long distant relationships are extremely hard to keep going even if there was a genuine long term relationship before seperation. Holiday romances (particularily if they are the hooker/customer type) are almost impossible to sustain. Now I know. As always everybody has to make the experience by himself. Warnings can´t prevent you from making the same mistakes thousands made before, but of course they help to keep the damage low. I learnt a lot, had a nice feeling for a few months, haven´t been hurt too much and didn´t loose any money (the board prevented me for doing stupid things) PS: Today I received some images from her, taken in the bar with some other girls. Maybe a professional shot provided by the bar to send photographs to the customers. Surprisingly the letter arrived without text from Singapore with my name stamped on the envelope. Is there a professional service for this? Maybe my name is in the database of the bar and this is a regular send out ::? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffalo_bill Posted November 20, 2002 Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 Most probably you are in the database of your sweetheart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted November 20, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 Most probably you are in the database of your sweetheart. Now I understand why she asked me to teach her MS Access. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted November 20, 2002 Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 >from Singapore with my name stamped on the envelope. Singapore, the Orchird Tower, that's where bgs from bkk go. 2 weeks visa, "no plobrem". 7000bht ST, good money, if busy. Don't read too much in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted November 20, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2002 Singapore, the Orchird Tower, that's where bgs from bkk go. 2 weeks visa, "no plobrem".7000bht ST, good money, if busy. The more I learn, the more I am sure that I will try to avoid a serious relationship with a BG in the future, but I am glad that I tried it with this girl. The only solution for me would be to take the BG out of the bar as soon as possible and take her with me to my country. But to find the right one seems to be difficult, as I am not a frequent traveller to LOS, since I have another Asian country - Japan - which I like very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 21, 2002 Report Share Posted November 21, 2002 Says kamui: But to find the right one seems to be difficult, as I am not a frequent traveller to LOS, since I have another Asian country - Japan - which I like very much. Watch out for Japanese girls they steal your heart then punch you in the nuts when you fart! :: :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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