jasmine Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 Hi, [color:"red"] That is why in my particular case I tell my girlfriend my opinion but always say it is ok for her to go out if she wants because I trust her. Usually, she declines to go out. [/color] Diplomacy and honor works every time. May be that is why my husband is so effective with me, thanks for the viewpoint. [color:"red"] I can't tell you how many things I've seen farangs do there that they would never do at home.. I've been wanting to start a thread on that because it still baffles me!!! [/color] Please do start a new thread, it will be very interesting and perhaps, we can learn from it, thanks. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 Hi, [color:"red"] If a relationship is so fragile that a night on town and temptations can break it, how can it survive? [/color] The temptation is always there if ones are receptive and have friends. I always feel that the temptation is good for ones' character, especially when ones know what to do even in a situation that they know that it will never be found out. By the way, I am not perfect and well behaved. :: Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 Hi chieusamac, >>>>>She told me she will go back to work, make money to take care herself and her family. She want to be independent. She has been ambivilance like this for a little while already.<<<< Listen to what she is saying. I say this, because if she were scamming you, she would not end her, and her families, meal ticket they have enjoyed for 2 years. Could be lots of things bringing her the desire to move on. Another sponser? Could be? Who knows? You live almost exactly 1/2 way around the world. You could not be further from her, geographicly. She's 31 years old, and knows her 'attraction' factor is going to end relativly soon, in terms of ability to pull in serious money as a prostitute. Just too much competition out there, and she knows it. So what has she got? Last two years?.........you. A boyfriend who is almost never with her, and does not want her going out with her friends, but yet, these people are there for her (tangible assets) every day, whom she loves, and wants to be with. You start to become a distant illusion. Long distant relationships are obviously very hard. But this is almost impossible. From what I have seen myself, and also learned on this board, is that Thai girls are incredible social animals. Why? Because of how most grew up. They did not have their own bedroom. They grew up sleeping in a room with many people. In some cases, the entire family. The concept of being alone, is totaly alien, and unacceptable for most Thai women. At least the one's who grew up in a poor village. A relationship outside of their culture is hard enough for them. Want a Thai girl? In some cases, buying a Thai girl's body is cheap. But buying/winning her heart is going to cost you more than you can possibly imagine. It's going to take a commitment that is a concept that alien to you. Because of their upbringing/culture/religion/etc., you cannot leave her alone for one minute. BB, and others here know this. They are in constant communication, with web cams, emails, and a short-term plan. I know you have a plan, but it cannot be in terms of years, or even many months. You're ready to walk away? Then do it. Because if you weren't, you would not have taken the time to post here. You would have been too busy getting the first stand-by flight back to LOS. The only success stories I've seen, are the one's with total commitment, on both sides. If that one single factor is not evident, on both sides, then forget it. It simply won't work. Period. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 I think that is a very good post from High Thaied. A lot of truth there... of course you can't fit every situation into that, but it certainly fits most. They only thing that I disagree with from personal experience is the "alone" part. No one likes to be "alone" but some people like to keep to themselves.. that is a personality aspect. And CMACs girl has a family, and 3 kids and most women wouldn't say they were "alone" in that situation. However, if she is literally sitting in her apartment alone (not sure if the kids live there) I'm sure it has a lot to do with her feelings. People are social creatures, and perhaps thais more than most... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 I encourage her to go out with friends and have a good time. Whatever place she chooses is up to her. I know men will hit on her constantly, so what?. You don't necessarily have to encourage her to go out. I think that would look a bit weird. I think it's much better to just give her freedom and not preventing her from having fun with friends wherever she pleases. If our relationship can't survive that its not worth having I think if the relationships tends to fail, it's not directly because of the going out part and meeting nicer people. The main reason is in my opinion the 'unhappiness' at home. So if you have everything sorted out well with your TG I think there isn't much to fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 Hi, [color:"red"]is that Thai girls are incredible social animals. Why? Because of how most grew up. They did not have their own bedroom. They grew up sleeping in a room with many people. In some cases, the entire family. The concept of being alone, is totaly alien, and unacceptable for most Thai women. At least the one's who grew up in a poor village. [/color] This concept is very true, especially poorer families and being alone is a scary thought for many of them. Then there are spoiled ones like me who could not share a room even when I was going to school. [color:"red"] you cannot leave her alone for one minute. BB, and others here know this. They are in constant communication, with web cams, emails, and a short-term plan. I know you have a plan, but it cannot be in terms of years, or even many months. [/color] At this stage of the relationship, closeness is the best but not all of us can do what we want. Good viewpoints, HT. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 3, 2002 Report Share Posted December 3, 2002 Trust is a touchy issue. I trusted her and I never meant to restrict her of going out. She understood my concerns and promised never do anything to make me hurt. I have never once tell her that she could not go out with her friends. The reason: if she wants to cheat, she will cheat and I would never find out. How could I find out when I am simply half way around the world? I relied on her words alone - it sounds crazy but what else can I rely on? We got into this argument one time when she was out a little pass 2am, that was when I became concern. My reaction was normal and any guys in my situation would do the same. Spoke to her again tonight and we are ok at the moment. She is waiting for my return at the end of the month. I know we have a lot of catching up (not explain!) to do. Wish me lucks. csm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 3, 2002 Report Share Posted December 3, 2002 <<<So what has she got? Last two years?.........you. A boyfriend who is almost never with her, and does not want her going out with her friends, but yet, these people are there for her (tangible assets) every day, whom she loves, and wants to be with. You start to become a distant illusion>>> I understand and agree with your point of view. However, I never once asked her NOT to go out. As a matter of fact, like TNC, I encourage her to go out. She chose to stay out late and that choice brought consequences. She realized that her action brought concerns on my part. I believed this was an isolated incident and I didn't think it's a factor of why she wanted to live alone and chose not to move forward. I think there is more reasons than that and I will try to find out when I got there. Who knows she might surprise me. I am not a psychologist or an expert in this subject but I know I love her and I am willing to go through life with her. On the same token if this is what she's realy want then I will respect her wish and am prepared to move on with my life. csm My motto in life is that let's live to the fullest and die with no regrets. csm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 3, 2002 Report Share Posted December 3, 2002 Hi TNC, Jane has only one little girl and she's very dorable. I love them both very much. Jane told me that the girl asks for me every morning and how come papa is not here to love her. I'll tell you, nothing breaks my heart quicker than that. You will soon have the first hand experience csm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted December 3, 2002 Report Share Posted December 3, 2002 Hi, I do wish you luck and hope some good communications will clear things out for both of you. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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