Zaad Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 Chieusamac, I'm very sorry for you. I thought everything was working out fine and suddenly this bad news. The only thing I can come up with is that she doesn't see a future with you. It's taking too long for her. I don't think she lost her love for you, I think she feels uncertain about you and her ever living together and maybe, hopefully, her confused and hurt mind spoke the wrong words on the phone. She doesn't see herself living with you in the near future. I think you should go there when it suits you the best and sort things out, like somebody else mentioned. After living a horrible life, you gave her this hope of a better life. The hope is still there but I think she can't wait any longer. Hoping for something great and not getting it month after month is obviously destroying her. Her life is slowly passing by and she needs to see improvement in her life instead of the same old song every day. I know it must be very difficult for you, but if you still want to be with her, I say you go there and tell her you both will be together and make plans to do so. Goodluck Chieusamac. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 TTM, A little bit more about the story. I was not so hard on her about the issue of going back to school or establishing a good business. I just merely there to provide guidance and supports. The real problem IMO is her super sensitive about everything. For one thing, she is super super, I mean super sensitive about money because she doesn't want me to think that she loves me for the money. She came from an extremely poor family but they are decent people. I got along with her family very well. Every time they need money for something, she is the one who breaks the news to me. Nothing excessive or worth to mention. I love the family, especially the children and I am more than happy to help. Many time she said that she's worry for me and felt that her family became a burden for me. I really appreciated her concerns and love her even more. There is one issue that we argued about: the "control" issue. As I mentioned in the previous post, she likes to hang out with her friends and got home late sometime. (One thing to mention here: she loves her friends.) Yes, I am worry as you're all aware of the club scene and stuff. I told her that I don't want her to go out too late at night, not because I don't trust her but because of many temptations in that environment. She didn't like that. One time she got upset when I called to ask her to go home. I thought that she would understand. She felt that I didn't trust her and we went back and forth. This is the only thing I could think of that could hurt our relationship. Anyway, I could not force her to take the chance to live with me. Only her can really tell what she wants. I know we love each other but sometime little thing got in the way and messed up everything. I am hurt very much but I am prepared to move on. csm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 You dont have to make something for her to leave you. i had a similar experience and i know how this feels. at least she talked with you before she cut you off. take care friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 >After living a horrible life, you gave her this hope of a better life. The hope is still there but I think she can't wait any longer. Hoping for something great and not getting it month after month is obviously destroying her. Her life is slowly passing by and she needs to see improvement in her life instead of the same old song every day. If that was the problem that's exactly what she - she - failed to realize. Every step made by cmac was a step closer to their life together. Just consider the steps he had to undergo to divorce. She should have seen that as things coming her way, not further apart. Now that everything is on the plate, the cake is hers and she can eat it - she does not want it any more. If there was a good will, they could negotiate where and what split of NYC/BKK life they would have through a year. I'm afraid she may have enjoyed enough support while outing, whatever that support might have been - lifestyle, freedom, fun, other men... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 >I told her that I don't want her to go out too late at night, not because I don't trust her but because of many temptations in that environment. "I can resist anything but - temptations" - Oscar Wilde. cmac, believe me I personally appreciate all your intentions, what you have done for her and what you wanted (and still want) to do for both of you. Where you might have ended up is - financing her lifestyle with no commitment in return. Maybe she is afraid of the days when the pay-back time is up... Possibly, if you try to explain what is ahead and timeframes, the mess and the pain may go away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 If that was the problem that's exactly what she - she - failed to realize. Every step made by cmac was a step closer to their life together. Just consider the steps he had to undergo to divorce. She should have seen that as things coming her way, not further apart. Sure, I agree. Chieusamac seems to have his plan worked out well, but she seems to have lost the patience and time for 'all these steps'. I think it's great CS is trying to help her and her family, because he simply loves her very much. I just think she's mentally so exhausted by all she suffered in her life that she can't cope with the 'waiting and hoping' anymore. It might be his only and last chance to get her back or better yet, make her believe that life together isn't impossible and far away. On the other hand, he might find out what's the real reason behind her choice of letting their relationship for what it is. I wish them the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 CS, I am talking to you, using Zaad's comments (Zaad, OK?). We are both with CS now: >Chieusamac seems to have his plan worked out well, but she seems to have lost the patience and time for 'all these steps'. Sorry, CS had a plan but it hasn't been well communicated. He's a professional, he should have presented it in "chewable" way. >On the other hand, he might find out what's the real reason behind her choice of letting their relationship for what it is. Unless he finds some facts and more of them, he'll never find out. If he did, he may lose his interest in her. Understand he loves her, that's the skewing factor. What I would do is - present what life together is going to look like and when it is going to commence. She likes it, fine. She does not, well, he said he was ready to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 >She took AUA to level 4 then stop. csm, it's a pretty basic English. That's not the level at which you can discuss things that may shape your life. I'm having troubles with someone who has passed level 8 (there are 12 or 15 levels at AUA). Talk to her again. Talk Thai-English, make it simple. Everything has to be as simple as possible, but not simpler than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 Mate, You are at the scene now, aren't you? No troubles to write back home? Enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffalo_bill Posted December 2, 2002 Report Share Posted December 2, 2002 Thinktoomut, really glad to see Akkar back. Sure he find new lady. bargirl but different : never ask monneee him. Bbill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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