MrX Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 1) do you pay the outrageous 10000 the bar asks so she can come back to work anytime? ( done to death already on the board I believe) 2) how much money does she need? ( similarly done to death) 3) what is the best possible attitude towards her vast stable of regular punters who phone up to arrange a fuck? 4) how to tread the line between her new found dependence on the taker-out and her previous independence? 5) what about her old bar mates..are they poison to the new phase of life, or do they benevolently soften the change? 6) how long should she hang around before "doing" something else ( school/job whatever) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlton68 Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 Well, that's just me, but partly from experience: ad 1) No. She should be comitted to you. If it fails there are so many bars, she'll find a job. ad 2) less than she asks for ad 3) destroy her sim-card and buy her a new one. If punters still talk to her on the phone tell them politely that she is not available anymore and should not call again. Be polite. Then ask your girl why the fuck she called the guy or where he got her new number from. ad 4) don't treat her like a prisoner. Try to find her a job to make her independent from you and your wallet. ad 5) you are asking about taking her out of the bar, not merely give her money to stop dancing, right? ad 6) hanging around they get all sorts of stupid ideas. Better get her ass moving asap. as said, that's just me. an addition to 1) and 6) if she is so eager to return to the bar any time soon, and the need she doesn't stop moving her ass, then let her continue work, take her money and party with her girlfriends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 Hmmm. Carlton68 has pretty much nailed it. I cannot change or add anything! Good luck, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 maybe just adding: never say never! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlton68 Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 Suadum, thanks. I was a bit sceptical that it sounds too harsh and cynical cause I'm in the middle of a divorve myself. But then I know I handled some of the points different but know how I should have done it. Wouldn't have changed a bit in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 rompandadam, Why put yourself through all of this? There are millions and millions of girls out there. Why go after a hooker? The challenge? The odds say you will lose, and is a notoriously bad idea. This is not to mean you will be exempt from any problems with a non-prostitute, but give yourself a decent chance to succeed, at least. The problems of trying to pull a girl out of the scene are enormous. Are you so desperate you need to bring all those inherent problems into your life? Putting her sim card under a steam-roller, is not going to change anything, other than your piece of mind, for maybe a week, at best. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 **SIGH** here we go again!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 Hey Phil, It's a hard road to go down, you have to admit. Maybe not in your case, but the majority. And in the great scheme of things, is not bad advice, in anyone's interpretation. It's tough work to pull most girl's out of prostitution, and I'll stand by that fact. There are many issues that need to be addressed, as opposed to a union with a non-prostitute. You got lucky, but you cannot apply that to all such unions. Most end up not working out. And to imply otherwise, and perpetuate, is not sensible, and irresponsible, IMO. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 lazyphil said:**SIGH** here we go again!! I understand your frustration. Unfortunately most don't look at an entire picture when making assessments, they tend to look at a generaliztion and make it the rule de facto. Having a relationship with a woman who worked as a prostitute should be no more difficult than having a relationship with a woman who never worked as a prostitue, 50% divorce rates in the West are a testament to that. Using the same logic that some would apply to having a relationship with a woman who worked as a prostitute you can say that a woman should never engage in a relationship with a man that pays for the services of prostitutes. For the sake of argument let us keep the topic on Thai prostitutes considering that the reason that most of them enter prostitution is due to socio economic situations that are specific to 3rd world countries with limited educational and economic opportunities. When one decides to remove a woman from the scene, one has to ascertain the "why " did a woman become a prostitute, basically her motivations. One the has to ascertain why a woman remains a prostitute and subsequently if those reasons can be resolved outside the realm of prostitution. If you can't figure these things out and can't successfully make an attempt at addressing them then one should not take a woman out of prostitution. no different than dealing with a woman outside of prostitution. You have to learn about them , their motivations, aspirations etc. The key is that in any relationship you have to invest in educating yourself about the person you have an interest in. The problem with pulling a chick out of prostitution is not the prostitute but rather the lover, punter or the knight in shining armor thinkling that spending a week with a chick as her sutomer and then throwing some cash at her and then handing her a set of rules and responsibilities of a new lifestyle that he develops for her is all that it is going to take to be successful. Like any relationship there is a lot of trial and error in relating to another person that money cannot fix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encore Posted August 14, 2004 Report Share Posted August 14, 2004 hi Romp, Of all the relies so far, carlton's and JJsushi's make most sense, even If i may not totally agree with either. Although the latter makes sense, i think you don't fit the description of the man he describes, and you know her a lot better by now. >1) do you pay the outrageous 10000 the bar asks so she can come back to work anytime? ( done to death already on the board I believe), No! She's of an age and looks that she'd have no problem getting her job back, or a similar one, should she want to. >2) how much money does she need? ( similarly done to death)< harder to answer, depends on her attachment to spending a lot, but also her past earnings, and future earning potential. When i attempted this, the woman in questuion was late twenties, earning monthly less than your girl, and very motivated to retire from the game. I gave her I think about 16K/month while she was studying, and promised 8 or 9 K for a while after she finished, kind of as backstop, and 'retainer'. My guess is that it may take a bit more in your case. But it also relates to how you deal with (3) >3) what is the best possible attitude towards her vast stable of regular punters who phone up to arrange a fuck?< depends entirely how you feel about her maintaining other contacts of a sexual/monetary nature, apart from the one with you. If you don't mind, fine, and your monthly stipend could reflect that ( e.g. less than it would be if she'd exclusively sleep with you. If you do mind, I think you should be prepared to fork out a much higher stipend for 'sole rights'. besides, you may never be entirely certain. Steamrolling her Simcard is controlling behaviour, will only reflect badly on you. It won't take her long to fill her dance book again if she really wants to. Short of moving in and controlling her every move, you will never be certain. What do YOU want out of the relation?? Do you want her to be celibate apart from her meetings with you? How realistic is that in her particular personal case? .4) how to tread the line between her new found dependence on the taker-out and her previous independence?< Depends on how heavy the dependency relation is spelled out and enforced. >5) what about her old bar mates..are they poison to the new phase of life, or do they benevolently soften the change?< Depends on her personal motivation to get out of the P4P game. If she's sick of it, and has alternatives in terms of income, she may resist invitations by her in the scene friends to partake on a 'casual' basis. If she considers your stipend inadequate, she may be hard to stop. If she has few close 'out of the scene' friends, cutting her off from her 'in the scene' friends may be counter productive. >6) how long should she hang around before "doing" something else ( school/job whatever)< give her a few months, I think she'll get bored, and jump one way or other. But, accept she is 'her' age. Sudden impulsive decisions are always possible, and mistakes will be made by both parties. How tolerant are you? Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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