Everything you always wanted to know about Thai women but were afraid to ask?

[Guest]

Just surfed into your message board and am finding it pretty interesting. I am active on the Lonely Planet board and the following post is one that was put up in response to a guy who was moving to Bangkok and wanted to know about regular Thai women. I am curious about the opinions both pro and con about following guy's take on life with Thai women.

Any comments guys?

Written by "smoker" on the From the LP woman's branch:

No one on this form seems to be interested in trying to answer your question.

I'm not a Thai woman but the next best thing; a farang married to one. I've got mine in the room with me as I write this over by the window on her workbench where she is hard at work on a new design. Although I can't claim to have a complete understanding of what goes on behind those big brown eyes I do have a little front row experience so will do my best to pass it onto you.

This post is a combination some educated guesses on Thai women, some general (very general observations) and of my direct personal experience with one particular Thai woman. My advice and opinions in this post are not written in stone but with a pretty broad brush so don't forget that.

As an aside, I sorry about the busted relationship but are you aware that working in the Real Estate market in Bangkok is like slashing your wrists and then swimming in a piranha tank? I hope you know what you are doing career wise and do you really think running away to the exotic east is the answer to a broken heart?

Anyway, onto your question and since I am taking the time to write it out I hope you take the time to read it because it is going to be a long answer. I don't know if you expected a couple sentence answer to your post but I started writing and two hours ended up with several pages as opposed to a short and focused TT response post. Even several pages are not going to scratch the surface on any answer dealing with Thai or any other kind of women.

In a nutshell finding, wooing and keeping a Thai woman is just as complicated as doing the same with any woman anywhere in the world. Any suggestions I give you are just generalisations so treat them as that and not as gospel.

To be honest a better place to dig around for information is on those Internet boards that are actually frequented by real live Thai women. I am no longer active on this board and in fact today just happened to be surfing through but if this form is the same as before it is very western woman feminist oriented. For example, previously when I was actively posting in the Women's Room when I posted a response post no matter what the topic when my handle "Smoker" was recognised I would always get a couple of flames calling my wife a prostitute, paid for, bought goods, mail order bride etc from the more militant feminist types. I think I have seen less than a dozen posts from actual Asian woman on the whole Thorn Tree so I doubt if you are going to get a lot or even any answers to your post direct from Thai women. I'll drop back here in a week or so but if you have any further detail type questions register your handle and send me a private message. I usually only come on the Thorn Tree about once a month now to check my private mailbox for messages from the some of the TT users that have become cyber friends.

So that said, my story is I am Canadian, an ex futures market floor trader married to a Chinese Thai woman who speaks English (MBA from Oz). I live permanently in Thailand and trade the international money markets offshore with my own capital.

 

For what it's worth this is my advice:

First of all, take a long bath or shower and don't be stingy with the soap. You must be super clean and always smell good. The first thing a Thai woman notices about a farang man is their smell. You don't have to wear a fragrance unless you want to but make sure your smell is a good clean smell.

Second, don't worry about there not being any women in Bangkok. There are just as many women here as you would expect to find anywhere in a city with the population in the millions.

Third, start learning the language. You don't have to be good at it but having some language ability is a big asset. Buy the book and tape "Thai for Lovers". You can get it at any Asia Books branch. It tells you all the stuff you really need to know how to say rather than the useless phrases they have in the Lonely Planet language section. The usual language books have crap phrases like "where is the train station?" when you actually want to know how to say, "you have very beautiful eyes and I must see you again". Even though my wife speaks fluent business English Thai women like the pillow talk to be in Thai so start learning it today.

In Thailand class and status is very important. Thai women can't marry below their class as easily as Thai men can. The net result of this is a shortage of marriageable Thai men for educated respectable Thai women. It's not so much money as education, English skills, an office job not a rice field job etc that put Thais into the upper class. So a lot of upper class women are there but not rich or even comfortably well off, as you would expect the upper class to be in the West. Thus the Thai women you will be meeting in the office, socially etc will not have as many dating options open to her as a Thai man of the same age, education and status. I don't know how true it is since I only have heard about it second hand (maybe there is a black women on the board that can confirm or deny this belief) but this is maybe similar to the situation facing university educated black women in the United States.

The first day you walk into your new Bangkok office as long as you are not a complete jerk it will run through your office building like wild fire that a single well-mannered western gentleman is now working at your firm. By the end of the day every Thai woman both single and married within about a six block radius will know more about you than you know yourself. It's not just because you're a farang, if a single Thai guy joined the firm the same thing would happen. The propensity of the Thai woman to gossip is only surpassed by their good nature. The jungle drums will start up the same way within minutes of you signing the lease on your apartment. The whole neighbourhood will know a farang without a wife has just moved into the area.

 

You will meet Thai women here the same way you meet Western women in the West. At after work get togethers there will always be someone with a single friend who just happens to drop by and would like to practice her English on you. Also the Thai wives of the other expates will be acting almost like your own dating service. There is not a thing currently going on in your life that a married Thai lady doesn't think couldn't be improved by you being married to one of her single friends, daughter, niece, cousin, the girl across the hall in her building and so on. Married Thai ladies see it as a sacred duty to civilise the world by turning all bachelors, even the farangs into married productive members of polite society.

 

I met my wife in a very unusual way for Thailand. I was windsurfing off Patong beach and she was sailing a rented hobie cat with her girlfriend. They were more bold than good as sailors and almost cut my sailboard in half and subsequently flipped their catamaran. I was pretty mad until I saw what they looked like, then I calmed down pretty fast and went into white knight mode. Two Thai women weighing a hundred pounds each couldn't get a capsized hopie upright and being over six-foot and two hundred pounds I was in the right place at the right time. That day the previous twenty years of weight lifting finally paid off big time in the real world.

Thai women expect you to show your interest in them and make first, middle and last move. Don't fool around or try to play hard to get. Thai women like to be coy and flutter around playing the innocent but they don't like it in their men. If you are interested ask her out and be straight and direct. That said, Thai women are natural flirts and will do so at every opportunity. Even the sixty-year-old noodle vendor on my street flirts with me every time I walk by. It might be that she just finds the farang's trouble with tones and pronunciation funny but there is still an under current of sexuality in every conversation. Thai women just love any kind of attention so don't be shy about showing her you are interested. You will be waiting for the rest of your life if you don't make the first move.

My first date was a tough one. I asked my future wife out after I got the hobie cat upright and sorted out. She just blew me off with a smile because she figured me for the usual horny tourist who was looking for sex and would be gone back to the west in a week. I knew her hotel from the name on rented hobie cat so dropped by her hotel after windsurfing and paid off the pool guy to get her name and room number. I sent her flowers and got the girls working at my hotel reception to write the card message in Thai. The hotel reception girls thought the whole Key Stone Cops scene of a farang tourist chasing the respectable Thai women in a town filled with hundreds of available Thai prostitutes was hysterical. There was a lot of finger pointing and giggling every time I walked through the lobby. It took a couple days of sending flowers, notes, calling the room to get her to agree to meet me.

If I would have behaved like this with a western woman she would have called the cops and got a restraining order on me for stalking. Or at the very least had hotel security ban me from the grounds and tell the switchboard to block my calls. Don't worry about being seen as needy and desperate by a Thai woman. They like desperation in men especially when it is directed at them. The "fatal indifference" and the "too cool to care" sophisticated approach that works so well with western women will just get you labelled as an aloof jerk by a Thai woman. You can't scare them off by coming on too strong. They love reckless abandon along with a good dose of desperation in a man.

First date keep it simple and short. If she is nervous about anything it will be the quality of her English. Keep the conversation simple and speak slow and clearly so she understands you and to relax her. Don't forget to keep the English slang to a minimum. Asking about her family is a good topic to get things going. Lunch is good and a lot better choice as a first date than a full-blown formal dinner in an expensive restaurant. Whether she mentions it of not there is about an eighty-percent chance she will show up with a friend or sister for the first date. You will pay for everyone. Anything to do with eating is good when you have a date chaperone.

If you are going out in the evening a movie is good since you don't have to keep the conversation going for the whole evening. That allows you to relax a bit and the movie gives you a ready topic to discuss. Thai women are a lot more comfortable with silence than western women. All Westerners find silence in social situations uncomfortable and babble on and on to try to keep the "uncomfortable" silence at bay. Don't worry so much about this when you are on a date with a Thai woman. If the conversation dries up just relax and don't look uncomfortable or bothered. If the conversation turns into the Sahara desert just lean forward look into her eyes, mentally picture her naked and smile. She will giggle, put her hand over her mouth and start batting the big brown eyes at you. Before long you will be chatting again but now with a few more sparks.

On the first date my future wife brought along her girlfriend who was on holiday with her. We had a meal at an open-air seafood restaurant and the date ended immediately after the meal. I tried to end run her escape from the date and line up the second date but both of them just said thanks for the meal, smiled, waved as they jumped into a taxi. I sent flowers to her hotel, called and left messages the whole next day and thankfully finally got her on the hotel house phone and due to some humiliating power begging got date number two scheduled for that evening. Second date was same deal, seafood for three but then her girlfriend with no warning mysteriously disappeared after the meal and then as a couple we went dancing and the evening turned into a classic date. So the bottom line is until they think they can trust you and see some genuine interest from you that is not completely sex driven it will most likely be group dating.

Unless you are a real jerk you will find plenty of attractive, educated beautiful Thai women who want to spend their time with you. But don't forget they are not doing it for kicks, marriage and a serious committed relationship is their goal so don't "talk to talk" unless you are willing to "walk the walk". Thai women have no interest in dating for a couple of years to "see if it will work out". They will expect things to progress to a committed relationship with the marriage date set for next week a lot faster than western women do.

If you just want to have sex with armies of beautiful Thai women do yourself and respectable Thai women a favour and go hit the massage parlours and Kariokie places every night. You will have sex with as many beautiful women as your body and wallet can handle. So don't be an asshole, wait until you have the "sex feast with beautiful Asian women" obsession out of your system before dating a respectable Thai woman.

It is a myth among westerners that most respectable Thai women are virgins. Most Thai girls like their western counterparts lose their virginity to their first serious boyfriend. The real sexually conservative women in Thailand are almost exclusively upper class Chinese Thai and not the majority of regular ethnic Thai. Thai women are not as ready to jump into bed on the first or second date as western women and will play the coy blushing girl for quite a while but once they decide that you are a serious boyfriend your sex life will suddenly go supersonic.

Once my wife believed I was permanently living in Thailand she started to get comfortable around me. Once she realised I was deeply in love with her (not her with me, that took more time) she slept with me.

Something I should have mentioned about "mixed race" dating in Bangkok is steering clear of establishments that cater to western women backpackers. Thai people have inborn radar that tells them instantly another Thai's status and class. A Thai person will know in a glance that your Thai date is not a prostitute. However westerners do not have this ability. Occasionally you will get racist or generally off colour comments from politically correct western backpackers who see you with your Thai date and assume such a mixed race couple is a sex tourist and a prostitute. There are a few western women backpacker types that feel they are morally justified in commenting on what they see as immoral behaviour. This problem mixed race couples face in Asia has been discussed to death on this and other travel Internet forms. With a little common sense this rude behaviour will not be a problem for you or your Thai date. Being an expate in Bangkok you will learn very quickly where to go and what to do to avoid the backpackers. Just keep it in mind when choosing where to eat on the first couple of dates since it could embarrass your Thai date and turn a nice evening into an uncomfortable incident for her.

This has never happened to me while out with my wife since we avoid tourist and travellers areas by choice (lousy food and worse atmosphere) but I have heard a couple of stories from other mixed expate couples. Do expect to get some looks from Thai people but don't worry about it because it is simply because you are a farang and not because they are making politically correct moral judgements. They would be looking at you even if you were by yourself. Whenever we are walking in a Thai area that is outside of our neighbourhood my wife and I get stared at and little Thai children will sometimes even point (big Thai no-no, their mothers almost die of embarrassment). This is simply because I am a big muscular mini-Arnold farang and my wife is a petite Chinese Thai women and that is not a typical couple they see walking by every day. I would get a reaction from little Thai kids even if I were walking by myself.

In Canada the difference in size and the youthfulness of my wife sometimes gets a second look but for the most part Canadians see every ethnic combination you can think of every day and could care less. From the neck down I am hard as a rock but my face gives my true age away (my advice is to always use sunscreen in your youth). My wife is five years younger than me but looks easily ten or more years younger than her age (even to other Thais so Canadians are completely fooled) so the perceived gap is something I've just learned to live with.

Just be aware of the possibility of an incident with western women backpackers in Bangkok since it could be embarrassing for your Thai date. Once you are a couple and dating often you will be frequenting restaurants, bars, clubs far "off the tourist track" in Bangkok and this won't be something to be concerned about interfering with your enjoyment of each other's company. I have in fact never been to Ko San road in my life and can't come up with a single reason to ever think of going there.

 

Be very careful about hurting a Thai woman's feelings. When they fall in love they give themselves completely and don't hold anything back to try to "emotionally protect" themselves like western women. If you hurt one it will be one of the worst things you ever do in your life and will haunt you forever. Thai women have a pretty developed practical side when it comes to most things like children and money but when they fall in love it is like being caught in a heart avalanche down the north face of Mount Everest.

Part of the enigma of this practical side is they almost expect infidelity from men but emotionally are insanely jealous. There are more penises cut off in Thailand by jilted women than anywhere else in the world.

In my own personal situation my wife is actually kind of pleasantly surprised that I don't cheat on her. Every Thai man I know cheats on their wives at any and every opportunity. Thai men are a great laugh to hang out with but are the biggest butterflies there are. Going to Kariokie lounges, model bars and high-end massage parlours are simply part of life for the married Thai man. So if you will get high marks from any Thai woman if you at least appear to be faithful.

In reality my wife is completely comfortable with me around other Thai women. For example, I have western male friends come to visit and naturally they want to do the red light scene. So when I take them out to do the nightlife my wife doesn't give it a second of thought. She knows by instinct I simply don't have any romantic or even carnal interest in some uneducated teenage gogo dancer from Isan.

Personally I find the farang sex industry in Thailand simply boring but as long as it's consenting adults to each his own. I really would rather be having a nice romantic dinner with my wife over looking the Chao Phraya River than sitting in a go-go bar talking about Loso's last album with a bunch of uneducated Thai teenagers. I am most likely the only farang in Thailand that has never paid a bar fine in his life. This is simply because all my life I have always had access to women who did not require money to have sex with me rather than any moral reasons. When I think about it in my life I have only slept with one Thai woman and I married that one.

Even if I did flip out and do something completely out of character and buy out a gogo dancer or Kariokie girl my wife knows it is would be just a fling. Obviously she wouldn't be happy about it and would go ballistic and most likely come at me with the penis amputation knife but she knows the bottom line is she would only lose me for a night.

However when it comes to farang women my wife goes into paranoid mode. The couple of times I have had old farang girlfriends visit my wife makes an effort to immediately be super friendly, take them shopping, give them presents, let them try on every piece of jewellery in her store, act as tour guide and generally turn them into her best friend. The whole objective is to reduce the chances of anything happening between moi and the old girlfriend. The irony is that it is a total waste of time since I am totally smitten with Archara but it is pretty funny to watch and kind of nice since I usually feel like the moose that fell in love with the swan.

Every farang women who has visited me thinks my wife is a total sweetheart who is now their new best friend. Little do they know how relieved she is to see them get back on the plane. So she will chauffeur me and my visiting western friends to a gogo bar and push us through the door without a second thought but won't relax until the farang woman on a holiday visit has cleared Thai air space.

You must appear to a Thai woman to be "marriage material". This means being respectable, polite, confidant and having money. Quite simply you must have enough cash to give a Thai woman a feeling of security. She needs to know that you have enough money to take care of her and any children. Don't take this as a personal insult. It is simply a woman in the third world taking the steps necessary to be sure her children are taken care of.

One real potential problem with Thai women and Thai people in general is that they really love their country and in the long run will only be truly happy in Thailand. They can live overseas for a long time even years but eventually the call of Thailand becomes too strong and they must return home. They miss their Thai family terribly so realise you must be happy to retire to Thailand or even better be prepared both financially and emotionally to permanently live in Thailand. My wife owns her own business based in Thailand so it is simply impractical for her to live outside of Thailand. Her biggest memory of being in Melbourne at University is the terrible price (in her mind) her figure paid for eating western food and being homesick the whole time. I can trade the money markets from anywhere in the world with a satellite hook up and was ready for the move after fifteen years of yelling in the trading pits so permanently living in Thailand was a viable option and easy choice for me.

Once you are a couple you will be required to be on emotional and physical call at all times. Thai women require an incredible amount of care and feeding. Attention, attention, attention and then more attention. Keep asking her if she is hungry, is she thirsty, how she feels, if she wants a foot massage etc etc etc. This doesn't mean you are needy, or being overly protective to a Thai women. It means that you are concerned and care for her. Just do it and keep doing it every fifteen minutes or so.

Even if you both are in your thirties and the Thai woman has been married twice before the relationship is more like first love at fifteen years old than any Western relationship is. If you coddled a western woman the way a Thai woman expects, the western woman would run away screaming she is being smothered. You can never go over the top in affection and attention.

I almost forgot to mention that if you are over weight you should go on a diet. It doesn't always appear obvious but looks are important to a Thai woman. I know this is the opposite that you hear from everyone else but it is true. Looks are not as important as a good heart and security but they are more important than most expates and all tourists realise. Thai women are used to being around slim people (just look at the Thai people in general) so fat people that sweat a lot are not as acceptable as they would be in the West where most people due to the diet are in the same physical condition. During the summer baby powder and the power shower will be the best friends your sex life has.

If you eat almost exclusively Thai food and do some exercise you will find yourself in great shape after six months. I used to have to diet down about ten to fifteen pounds at the end of winter every summer to get my abdominal muscles defined and cut for the beach. Now that I eat almost exclusively Thai food my body is cut and defined all year, I'm never hungry and the need to diet for six weeks every spring is long gone.

If you have a beard shave it, if your back is hairy wax it. Trim all your body hair down (not completely but down) and I mean everywhere. Thai women and in fact all Asian women are simply not big facial or body hair fans. I shaved my beard off two days after meeting my wife on the advice of the chambermaid at my hotel and that might have been the clincher in winning her over. Tipped that maid big time for that winning advice. I am more rugged Marlboro man from too much time in the sun and helicopter skiing at high altitude than pretty boy Leonardo di Caprio but am very big and strong from adventure sports and all the weight lifting. The hard muscular body is a big factor in getting attention from any Thai women. Thai women find six pack abdominals just as interesting as you find firm breasts, flat belly, perfect skin and legs like a racehorse.

Thai women hate the grunge look so remember to dress sharp, be well groomed and super clean. Behave like the perfect gentleman, open and hold doors, complement her etc. All you need to do is think of what Cary Grant would do and follow his lead. When I think about it dressing like Cary Grant is not a bad idea either. Thai women are not western women so they won't get offended at being treated in an old fashion way. They sure don't label this behaviour as being condescending. Don't play it cool and indifferent play it warm and affectionate and don't worry about being seen as a lovesick fool. Don't ever worry about her losing respect for you for this lovesick behaviour like you would when involved with a western woman. The cool sophisticated man about town type who "treats them mean to keep them keen" works with western women but is a dud in Thailand.

 

If you get married you will find that Thai women want to spend a huge amount of time together. In fact, if you are both awake and not at work then expect to be together. If you take a nap during the day expect her to curl up beside you, if she takes a nap you will do the same. You don't have to always be having intellectual conversations but expect that for the rest of your life you will have someone in the room with you. I was never previously married and in fact had never even lived with a woman for more than a long weekend before getting married. I found the complete and total togetherness a little strange at first but a nice kind of strange. Within a couple of weeks it just became normal to have a hundred pound beautiful shadow around every second of the day. I think most western couples living like this would be at each other's throat by the end of the first week. I don't know why but with my wife it just seems to be the best way to enjoy married life. If a Thai woman could arrange it she would have the two of you fused into a permanent Vulcan mind melt. The only place you will be alone is in the bathroom and that is only when you are actually on the toilet and you have locked the door and won't let her in. You will never take a shower alone again at home and someone else will always put the toothpaste on your toothbrush for you.

Just don't forget to do the same for her.

I think you are going to have a lot more trouble with the Bangkok real estate market than meeting some nice women.

Good luck in Thailand.

Smoker.

[Guest]

Great Post!

I have a Thai wife, from a different background to the one in the previous post but the ground rules are basically the same.

Any one looking for a serious Thai relationship could do worse than to memorize the content of Sandman's post...

[Guest]

Sandman,

Thanks for your post. A good read. I liked the cheeky bit..

"If the conversation turns into the Sahara desert just lean forward look into her eyes, mentally picture her naked and smile" ..

Great stuff.

I have met many nice Thai/Chinese girls that could possibly have turned into prospective partners and perhaps prosperous marriages. But, I'm saving that for later. I'm having too much fun with 'bad' thai girls for now and I favour my own bed for sport than ST hotels.

cheers,

Dan

[Guest]

Hey Dan post#2,

Actually maybe I wasn't completely clear in the original post but this post was not written by me so I can't take credit for it. It is a copy of a post that a guy that goes by the handle "Smoker" put up a couple months ago on the Woman's Branch of the Lonely Planet web site. I'm quite a rake myself so can't play a very convincing role of the happily married western man in Thailand especially since I live in the Middle East and have paid more than my share of bar fines.

The funny thing about this post is the amount of heat that smoker used to get on the LP branch from western women flames. It really was unbelievable and very spiteful stuff. If you think the LP women don't like Mr_Sex_Tourist you haven't seen the self-righteous indignation they have towards a guy that actually goes and commits the ultimate sin against western women and marries a mainstream Thai women. And the ultimate piss off is that he ends up blissfully happy.

The old bald sex tourist with a teenage bar girl is a cliché all western women can easily dismiss with a self-righteous snicker. But the independently wealthy physically fit surfer that chooses a life with an upper class Thai businesswoman over all those lonely western women and there by takes himself out of the western marriage pool really cuts through to the bone. It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. This behaviour does support my theory that the biggest concern western women have is losing control over the pussy market.

Actually now that I think about it both funny and pathetic do work.

I am still curious what other guys on this board like coss post #1 that are married to Thai women think of smoker's advice.

Thumbs up or Thumbs down?

[CondomKing]

Yes, thumbs up. Completely enjoyed Smoker's post although I didn't completely agree with every aspect of it. Don't think it's necessary to pay as much close attention to my wife as Smoker pays to his and mine doesn't expect me to. So, except for that somewhat minor detail I'd say that the rest of his post discribes life with a Thai woman pretty well.

Regarding his run ins with militant feminist backpackers, I've actually never had that experience. He sounded like a big, good looking guy, so maybe the feminists are angry about losing a potential desirable mate for a fellow Western woman.

I am a lot older than my wife 53/29 and she is small, but I'm not a very big guy, so we don't really stand out in a crowd. However, we do get stares, mostly in the US, but so far, two years together, no one has ever made rude comments to our face.

Once a woman at the flea market said she remembered her from earlier in the day buying something with her "stepfather", (thanks lady). Another time we were eating pizza in a suburban shopping mall and when I got up to go to the men's room an older couple asked my wife if she was "alright" (?) and if they could do anything to help her (???) Who know what they thought was going on?

We think it's a goof and have a good laugh about people's reactions. Thanks for sharing a good post, Guido.

[Guest]

quote:

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I am still curious what other guys on this board like coss post #1 that are married to Thai women think of smoker's advice. Thumbs up or Thumbs down?

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Thumbs Up!

I also agree with the other comments above about Western women not liking the fact that a Western guy can choose a Thai woman over them. If you think USA women are bad then you should meet some NZ women!

My family are OK with my (my 1st was Japanese) current Thai wife, because they know her. But work colleagues can't get past my supposed "penchant" for subservient Asian women.

Both my wives are: feminine (I think that this is important, no offence to female lumberjacks, but women should look like women),

polite in company (not agressive and domineering),

extremely strong minded and willed, and at the same time having a vested interest in the husband's future. This translates into support and some one who'll back you, and be loyal in all sorts of situations. Even poverty.

The content of Sandmans's post if almost a parallel to my experiences in courting and wedding my Thai wife. 11 years+ by the way and still going strong.

And for those wondering about the dichotomy of me posting about the great Thai wife I've got and the involvement of myself in this boards and Sanuk activities... Well that's because I'm the one with the inconsistencies, my wife would die if she knew... so she'll never know.

my 5 bahts worth.

[ July 10, 2001: Message edited by: coss ]

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by Sandman:

Good luck in Thailand.(and etcetera)

Smoker.

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would anyone like to comment on how much philippino women fit the above wonderful post? i know P.I. women but am rather new to thai scene. anyone been married to both??

[Guest]

Thanks for the interesting replys.

Billy Ruben 69: Regarding Thai vs Filipino.

This post is mostly stuff that I picked up by osmosis than personal experience. I'm sure there are guys on this board that have personal experience with both Filipino and a Thai woman but for what it is worth this is my 2 cents.

I think you have a better chance of a long term relationship with a Filipino than a Thai girl but the odds are bit of a long shot in both cases if the woman was a bar girl. I think the odds are better with the Filipino just because the Philippine culture is closer to the west. For example the Philippines was a western colony for a hundred years and most Filipino girls are Catholic and speak better English than most Thai bar girls. They also have a bigger demographic group to hang out with in most western countries to keep the homesickness at bay. One of Smoker's paragraphs deals with this issue on how it seems that no matter how well they appear to assimilate to western life eventually the Thai girls get very homesick and want to return to live in Thailand. I don't know any guys married to Thai girls but I do know several Western/Filipino couples here in the UAE. The Filipinos do seem to accept permanent living outside of the Philippines really well.

I think the reason I found Smoker's post interesting was that in all the advice and personal anecdotes I've heard from guy's married or in a special relationship with Thai girls all of them were married to Bar Girls or lower class (economically speaking) Thai woman. I don't know anyone who married an upper class Bangkok businesswoman so that aspect of the post really was the focus of interest for me. My personal experience with Thai women is very bar oriented so the more "normal" (chill, just a figure of speech) match up in age, education, economic means, physical attractiveness, language skill etc made for interesting reading for this simple bar hound.

I don't know for sure if my call on Thai vs Filipino is accurate but it is the way I would bet if I had to lay down the cash.

I do believe for the most part when it comes to relationships women are a lot smarter and more practical than men are. And Asian women are a lot smarter (in this area) than western women. Where a western woman knows ten different ways to pull your strings an Asian girl has a hundred at her disposal. It always is hard for an educated western guy to accept that an illiterate bar girl is his mental equal in the relationship game but make no mistake about it if you are not on the top of your game you will be the puppet and she the master. A child playing with a chainsaw and an emotionally confused white boy doing the Farang puppet dance for a Bar Girl are both situations that are going to end in tears.

The bars are a great place to go play but don't use them for wife hunting. Of course that is just my opinion and I'm single so what do I know?

Cheers Sandman

[elef]

Hi Sandman,

your truth is also mine - with a few exceptions.

My GF (non-BG) told me that she trusted me from the start because I'm big - for her a clear indication of not having HIV.

elef

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

Agree with most of the comments here, the post is very much spot on.

Like Guido, I too, don't agree with all of it, but most of the comments are correct.

One of the things I disagree with is his assessment of Thai women liking bodybuilder type of guys. Most of the women I have spoken too, don't seem to be interested in a muscular guy at all. Sure, they like men well-build, but not 'build like a brick wall'.

As for backpackers making comments, agree 100%. In all the time I have been dating/married to my wife (~3.5 yrs) there has only been one incident with regards to bad looks/comments. They came from a backpacker couple in Ban Phe.

Every single Thai we have ever encountered has assumed we were married. I guess speaking Thai and being very similar in age (only 3 year difference) helps.

Sanuk!

PS Sandman, do you have any way of contacting Smoker? I would love to get his permission to use this on my paysite.