carew66 Posted May 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 Ach - all this talk of Christmas eh? I'm still here in Bangkok and already planning for Christmas. What a life. STH - I can manage coming out about about 5 days after yourself. The rough plan is to stay a couple of days here and then move on to Pattaya (as usual) and then return to Bangkok. I hope that you won't be too bored with the delights of Bangkok by the time I arrive. My return date will be same-same you. I wouldn't worry about the silly prices on E-bookers. They are always bollocks. Having said that you have instilled a mild sense of panic in me so at least I know what I will have to do at the weekend once I get back to London. The whole contingent out at Christmas? The mind boggles. Just as well that Gullivers is big enough to contain a battallion that size - although the place might not be to everyone tastes. ============================================================= The sense of impending doom has increased now that I am facing my final day here in the Land of Smiles. So much to do. So little time. I think I'll forego my usual visit to Edens this time around. There's always Christmas and I think I can get what I require just by mooching around the usual haunts. I was offered 'two lady' last night but truth to tell I didn't have the energy to monitor both of them so I went for Mo instead of Meeny. A mucky story: I know that I don't do them but there's an element of humour in this that I wanted to share. In my last post I mentioned 'S' who usually lurks around the Biergarten. One of the many good things about her is that I can hold a conversation with her about her interests and pastimes, family history and so on. She is actually very interesting (yeah, yeah!) . After a night that I can only describe as 'erotic' - insofar as I learned a couple of things that were quite pleasant - we managed about 5 hours sleep. I was awoken by 'S' performing what the 'News of the World' always refer to as a 'sex act' upon my person. 'How very nice', I thought as I sparked up a Benson and Hedges and then laid back and thought about the European Union. At the Christian climax to all of this ("Oh my God") she popped her head up, looked me in the eye and said - and I kid you not - "Good Morning London"! Now thats what I call a wake-up call!! ============================================================================ Statesman and Tapeworm went to some kind of a Water Park yesterday (insert quip of your choice here) and ate a lot of food. Tonight, I believe, they are going to see Mama and Papa and eat more food. Apparently chicken will feature on the menu. For the recipe I think that the first instruction is 'First catch your chicken' so they are off to the market. I was left to my own devices yesterday. I took a wonderful opportunity to defray the last minute panic that will be the rest of my day and I squandered it. I fancied catching up on the news in the UK so I popped into 'Bookazine' on Sukhumvit - next to Starbucks, 'twixt Soi 5 and 7, and purchased a copy of that august journal 'The Guardian'. I should have gone back to Chequers to read it but I feared that this may have marked me down as dangerous and subversive (you know how people can be about Guardian readers) so I blimped back to Bus Stop over the road. Sitting in the garden there one wee beer turned into six. There were quite a few ladies about in the afternoon but I wasn't having any of it. How horny can a man feel when he's looking at photographs of Clare Short? Ladeez and Gennalmen I present Anti-Viagra: The Right Honourable Member for Ladywood. It really was a bit of a wasted afternoon and on returning to the Dynasty Inn I promptly fell into the arms of Morpheus (a bar girl from Issan). I was awakened from a fitful sleep in which a bar girl was negotiating ST or LT in a Birmingham accent whilst Rusty was shouting 'Order, Order' and banging a gavel on Village Idiot's head. VI was wearing a top hat and there was a court in session where STH was eating mushrooms and Sileakunt was shouting 'I'm off my head'. The banging, it transpired, heralded the return of Statesman who was a bit worried by the loud music coming from my room (Jefferson Airplane 'White Rabbit') and thought I might have done something stupid (Eh?). I invited him in and three paces behind him trudged the dutiful gourmand herself - The Tapeworm. "Cheers mate", I said, "sorry about that, I just crashed out. Lucky you knocked or I would have slept right through. Hello Tape and how are you?" "I am fine thank you" replied the gastroped, simultaneously munching on something last seen on Animal Magic in 1973. They outlined their plans for the early part of the evening - a list of restaurants - and said they'd meet me in Gullivers as and when the wee munching one was sufficiently refuelled. =========================================================================================== It was time for that Masonic ritual known as 'Friday night in Gullivers'. Redbaron was already there, trapped in the corner, and a couple of faces that I remembered from last week. I crossed the tiled floor, cautiously, and then, mindful of the health of my mother and thinking that the designer of Gullivers was indeed a Great Architect I ordered beer. (Now I'm just being mischievous - just in case there are any conspiracy theorists out there. Or pissed off Masons. Roberto Calvi eh? Slipped did he?) Couldn't have a cigarette in that part of the place until 9pm. Tchh. Still, always a good one to shout "I really need a fag. I want a fag now. I haven't had a fag for an hour and I'm desperate" and then watch the faces of the Americans. They never get used to it! Ah - vive la difference. ==================================================================================== We didn't leave - that is Red and 'sorryIcantrememberyournameontheboardbutyouarefromCanadaandyournicknameonnanaplazaisathaiword' and myself didn't leave until way past eleven o'clock. The last to leave. As usual. I tried to persuade Red to come on down to Nana Disco but he was having none of it and 'sorryIcantrememberyournameontheboardbutyouarefromCanadaandyournicknameonnanaplazaisathaiword' was checking his connections on the BTS through to Patpong. I ended up at Nana Disco on my own. I was all on my own for about 4 seconds. The thing is that all of my past sins in this temple of boom-boom were coming back to haunt me. I was pounced upon by 'N' - the leader of my cheerleading squad - and danced with her and the team for about 30 minutes when 'J' - from the Dynasty Inn Womens Gymnastic Team - grabbed me for a quick spin. Then 'J' and 'M' - The Pink Ladies - appeared but luckily were just going so I got away with that. Unfortunately they tipped off 'B' - crazy Gizmo from last year - who had changed her hairstyle and who I didn't at first recognise. Aaaargh!!!! Decided to wait in the car park. Bad move. It's even easier for them to keep surveillance on you in the car park. Martha Reeves and the Vandellas 'Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide' was playing in my head... =================================================================================== Groundhog Day. One day I'll break this cycle. One day... I really must go now and buy expensive presents for back home. Something cultural maybe. "You know, I went to that Bangkok and the temples and the palace were really interesting. They were. Oooh yes. Mind you I went out one night and you won't believe what I saw in some of those night-clubs. All these young girls with these really old men. Honestly. God, it was disgusting. Well, I just went straight back to my hotel and had a drink in there. Outrageous it was. Of course I love you. Have a kitchen extension or something. Is that your arse dear or has someone just parked two Volkswagens really badly?" ====================================================================================== This report sponsored by: 'Beep Boop' - the noise that the door makes in the 7-11. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 you must be in hillingdon :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lusty Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 This report sponsored by: 'Beep Boop' - the noise that the door makes in the 7-11. ROTFL!Only a seasoned sunucker would remember this sound.I wonder if i could get an alarm clock with this sound ::! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiLeakHunt Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 "The Guardian" that sections you off as a homosexual, courdory wearing, CND supporting, vegetarian, tree hugging cunt. You are no longer on my list of friends. Cheeers By the way I've got a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokbutcher Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 Nope, but not too far away... I could never be too precise with my exact location because I never got an 'A' level in geography... :grinyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carew66 Posted May 18, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 Says SiLeakHunt: "The Guardian" that sections you off as a homosexual, courdory wearing, CND supporting, vegetarian, tree hugging cunt. By the way I've got a job. Well - if the cap fits I suppose. Congratulations on the job by the way. Just got in the door. Knackered. Brain and body totally fucked. Just had a domestic... (here we fucking well go) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted May 19, 2003 Report Share Posted May 19, 2003 Good to hear you made it home safely. Was about to put up a post informing all you were out and Gullivers would be a safer place this friday! Bangers is still standing after all. We do miss you. Little Gypsy's upset cos she's got no one to celebrate with tonight now.... btw.. she got the visa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 19, 2003 Report Share Posted May 19, 2003 welcome home, will prob see you soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carew66 Posted May 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2003 Red - I've just got your Round- Robin email. Congratulations mate. You lucky bastard. They'll be having the contest voting thing on Friday won't they? Take her to see Elvis at the place above Foodland afterwards! Thank you verr much Priceless. I didn't have the energy to go dancing with the small one on Saturday. A quiet night in. Wish - Unless I get lumbered this weekend I should be playing out on Saturday. If you get in the Kings Head beforehand I sent y'all a postcard c/o the barstaff: 'The Thailand Internet Boys' I think I addressed it as. I sent it from Hue not Thailand just to confuse the guy. The older guy should twig okay. Dungaree Man won't have a clue though. I might go to the local tonight as: a) There will be a real fun atmosphere. The birds will be all over me and I'm guaranteed a shag c) All females will be stunners (in my world all Thai women are infinitely more beautiful - inside and out.) Dream on... Storms a'gathering. Batten the hatches. It's gonna be a rough ride. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carew66 Posted May 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2003 Replying to my own posts now... IB13 - Wahey! Nice to see ya on Saturday night in Gullivers. Good stuff matey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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