maxal Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 Okay, I've seen other similiar postings but not this perspective I believe. I've been declared a "boyfriend" by a weekend BG. (she works the bar only on weekends and only goes ST) I like having her as my "girlfriend" - something about the chemistry.- the right combination. One of those mutual first sight attractions too. I always look to see if the attraction is reciprocated. After a while, you know if its just a BG tactic or real- not to say I can't be fooled mind you. It felt and look genuine to me. She said it was "up to me' and would only go LT after I BFd her out of the bar. After a SERIOUSLY great night, I could tell she has experience and not shy with me at all. None of that walking around in tightly wrapped towels either. I gave her some baht but she didn't bother to see how much. She just stuffed it away. After a few more visits, more fun, more conversations, its just gets better. She likes to go around town during the day and night (not just the naughty areas) to show me off or something. I don't mind, its seems like a face thing for her. The face things works for me too- she's a great, happy looking TG that behaves properly in public. Her features are very Khmer and other Thais just scowl at her like she's corrupting me. Despite my efforts to be polite, dress well, shave and shower frequently, respect the culture, etc., most Mid and Upper Class Bangkok Thais, I've come across don't give a rat's ass about me anyway. I would never say all of them. Some are really good people. She apparently does care about me. Her English is good and we've talked a lot. So, one content morning, she said she would leave the BG scene if I took care of her and preferred to be home upcountry. I hesitated the first two times she brought it up. Eventually, I felt comfortable enough with the idea to give it a shot. Now, on my next extended or long term visit, she wants to take me upcountry to her village along the Cambodian border, eager for me to meet her mother, meet her eight year old son, and see her village sooner rather than later. This is not the first time, I've been asked to go upcountry by a TG (another BG and a FL) but I didn't really care enough about these others to even make the attempt. Could've been a test if I was serious about them but I guess I'll never know. That's what it felt like with these two and I could see it in their eyes and smiles too. Either too desperate or planning a good scheme seems to have been the impressions from these previous two attempts. I make an effort to mentally cross reference information these girls are telling me. My Thai language skills are getting better all the time too. If there are holes in their story its over fast! Not this one, at least not yet. Anyway, I have never considered committing myself long term to one TG whether BG or Non BG until now. Also, I've never been upcountry to the Isaan province at all. Yep, I have read many of your posts, I've faced some of the experiences first hand, and all the usual doubts cross my mind but for being a BG/"girlfriend" she's been telling me a lot of the truth. I've also been telling her a lot of the truth. Having joked with her as to how many other farangs has she taken upcountry, she claims I would be the first. According to her, some farangs do tour around because of the Khmer ruins near her village so many Thais are not in complete farang shock. A fear of mine would be to have mama or papa whip out a HUGE knife on me so I'm somewhat relieved. I am willing to take a risk and have her take me upcountry. Here are my risks/concerns... (These risks/concerns are pretty much covered by you all on the board but a specific refresher course would be greatly appreciated.) 1. Negoiating money for a "boyfriend" not a customer and what about the BFs? 2. How long to go upcountry for first time out? I'm thinking a week maximum what do you guys think? 3. What to take or not to take for the trip? 4. How much money to take for trip? (I have no plan to pay for a village party- at least not yet!) 5. What if her mama or her son doesn't like me? Finally, whether it works out for us or not in the near future, how much does a BG have to gain or lose by taking me, the farang, upcountry? What is her risk? Suggestions please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 Says maxal: She likes to go around town during the day and night (not just the naughty areas) to show me off or something. I don't mind, its seems like a face thing for her... That's interesting. I had a remarkably similar experience with a Soi 7 beergarden bird in April ? street-name of "Ng": 4 kids, bad stammer, and haemorrhoids like a bunch of grapes hanging out of her arsehole ? who wanted to parade me round town in search of a cheap STD clinic to show me off, clearly a "status" thing for her . Unfortunately, the brown paper bag she put over my head meant I kept bumping into things. jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 What does MRs FJ think about your posts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokbutcher Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 Now, I may not be the best qualified to answer your questions but I will have a go anyway but it will be related to the first time my wife (who I met and married in the UK) took me back to meet her family. >>>1. Negoiating money for a "boyfriend" not a customer and what about the BFs?<<< No idea on the money/bf front - so will have to pass up on this one - sorry.. >>>2. How long to go upcountry for first time out? I'm thinking a week maximum what do you guys think?<<< I think a week max would be fine, maybe a little too long for your own benefit first time round though. Remember you will be under scrutiny. >>>3. What to take or not to take for the trip?<<< Mainly your little home creature comforts, like toilet roll for starters, although I am sure that a 7-11 or something similar will probably be open in the town by now. A couple of small gifts from your own country for the family would also be greatly appreciated, I am sure. >>>4. How much money to take for trip? (I have no plan to pay for a village party- at least not yet!)<<< Well you could still do a small party for the family and close friends. The first time I took them all out, there was about 22 of us in total, and we went to a Mor Lam Sing show/concert. For the whole evening (food, beer, mekhong etc etc) it cost less than 3000 baht (but that was a few years ago. And a fantastic night was had by all. >>>5. What if her mama or her son doesn't like me?<<< Maybe she will, maybe she wont, but ultimately (I feel) she will be looking out for her daughters well being more than anything. As for her son - now that could be tricky - so I had better leave that to someone else for clarification. Hope this helps and good luck with your adventure... :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 Maxal, I am probably not the best person to advise but I will tell you about my trip. I met my 'ex' B/G out of Thailand but geographicaly close. After living with me for a few months she was keen to take me to her home which was pretty 'upcountry' and I was supposedly the first to be taken there. I was keen anyway but she kept warning me about the hardships etc. etc. We flew to BKK and hired a jeep and drove from there as I didn't fancy a bus ride and I was also keen to have some independance just in case. It turned out to be a long but very enjoyable drive - the roads being better than some in my own country in the west!! Anyhow, we got to the town and met her two sisters so that we could load up with food and a few other things that my G/F thought would be necessary - many of which were for my benefit I think like extra plates, forks and spoons. Then we finally arrived, the two of us in the jeep, her two sisters on a scooter - a real craic. It was a very dusty track up to the 'house' and alongside a river (the bath, I later dicovered) - but OK. My G/F's Mother came out to meet us - and I have to admit that I really felt so welcome. My G/F has a 10 year old daughter and two brothers who also live there. Further relatives (brothers/sisters plus kids) arrived over the next day or so and very soon there was a real party atmosphere. Sure, I footed the bill for most of the food and drink but I think that I really expected to. After all my G/F supported the family through her 'work' and as she had stopped that for me then I was happy to provide. There are virtually no jobs to be had in the area and both brothers seldom work. However, everybody made me welcome and I was very happy and relaxed. The hardships - none really. Crapping in the woods and washing in a river are really OK (for a few days). We were there for four days but I could have honestly stayed for longer (and in fact we are going there this Friday). Before we left my G/F wanted to stock up some food for the family - a trip to the market. Bags of chilis, onions, garlic etc and two 50kg bags of rice - enough for a month or so! A brilliant trip and I guess the cost was not that much. Maybe 10k Baht - possibly not that much. In my mind worth every penny. I now know some lovely people and am happy to return. If that helps to convince you go - then great. Enjoy. D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 Says nicethaigirl: What does MRs FJ think about your posts? There is no "MRs FJ" . Or, rather, if there is one lurking somewhere, boy that must've been some fucking bender . (Damn it. You've got me worried now... ) jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dddave Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 Practice squating. Practice sitting cross-legged on a hard surface. Practice handing out B100 notes Eat a few things you said you would never eat, it wil prepare you. Anti-diahhereal pills Toilet paper Bring a bathtowel insect repellant. After the initial culture shock, you can have a pretty good time You will probably be a bit suprised at how traditional and conservative your GF becomes. dddave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 FJ, While I do appreciate your postings on this board, espaecially after you had a drink , I do not really appreciate them in this forum as there are sensitive subjects discussed here. I hope you understand the little reprimant....... Cheers - BB - moderator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 For starters you got a huge advantage in some basic thai language skill and your TG speaking great english. That should overcome most of the frustrating language barrier I've encountered, meaning as deep conversation I got outside the TG was the odd chok dee & korp khun khap! About the money matters I'd say she should be able to negotiate with the bar for you NOT having to pay BF as her boyfriend & for herself she would just expect whatever she normally expects from you staying with her in bkk Bringing money I don't really know how much, but make sure you got a lot of small change & not just 10 crisp 1000's fresh off the ATM! Someone mentioned a lot of 100's to pass on, but I see no reason for that as it will just drive the grief expections in the long term up Personally I don't like to 'buy' any sympathy in the village. Rather I'd look for any genuine signs of accept by NOT doing exactly that, but I suppose it really depends how you TG plays it. She will tell you when handouts are needed I think your own comfort zone would determine whether you could bear staying more than 2-4 days as the main activity of 'socialising' sitting on the floor in a circle on the hard floor drinking & smoking listening to thai jokes usually wears me out quicker than I'd though Especially if your sleeping arrangements are so that sex are difficult(in the same room as mama/papa/brother?) or your TG turns VERY conservative!!! Well I've only experienced them turning very SAVAGE like & enjoyed every minute of it, but still was happy to go after a few days or 4. I mean most buffaloes & rice fields look the same :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 If you are going to stay for more than three days, take a book with you. My recommendation: Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa (more than 1000 pages) - for reading it of course, not for the paper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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