WorldFun Posted July 1, 2003 Report Share Posted July 1, 2003 I had to register a new handle for this post as I find it too revealing using my normal one for this rather chocking experience & thus this post from a 'stranger'. A BG friend over more than 3 years told me matter of factly today that one of her BG friends just informed her she was tested HIV+. It did not quite register with me what she had just told me & it really still hasn't yet. She just blurted it out like that, but I was flattered that she told me even I was expecting her to contact me for quite some other matters... The thing is I know this Pattaya BG in question also & I actually had sex with her over the course of 1 nigtht about a year ago & I remember not using condoms all the time! As of Last month I met her by chance again, but 'luckily' I'm already fixed up for the night & declines her offer to spend the night... Still I was tested recently & all clean, but does this stuff still scare the shit out of me or what? Can only begin to imagine how she feels & how I best respond if/when we get in touch? But the most shocking part is that she suspects me of having infected her & thus don't see herself having indulged in other risky encounters than ours! Actually I never though of her as a 'high risk' girl & thus got a real wake up call to consider as this is my 1st known close encounter with HIV/AIDS(assuming she was infected back then?) & to this day the only one I know of 1st hand with a confirmed case. She reportedly deals with it pretty calm even the incident is rather tragic as she was asked by a newfound german BF down in PTY to get tested before he would 'involve' himself further in their relationship. Being a bit insecure she gets an early secret test for herself, then another & a 3rd also confirms the sad case, which he eventually learns about & she's out as far as he's concerned, while she lets us know she loves him. Not long before that she has lived with a Dutch BF in Amsterdam, but still she has no clear idea where she could have gotten infected... So gents & ladies forum friends all I hoped to gain with this humble post was perhaps a bit of advice & info sharing. Regards X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted July 2, 2003 Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 Maisabai, sorry to hear bad news like this. But a couple of things struck me in your post. One, you said you believe this was your first HIV encounter. I am not so sure one can say this. We really don't know when we encounter HIV exposures; having a clean bill of health does not tell you whether you were previously exposed to HIV or not. Only that infection didn't take place. I have no idea when my first hiv exposure was or how many or if i have ever been exposed. In some ways, this is a good thing because as long as you keep hiv free (tested), it is a speculative game and really doesn't matter. This ain't a horseshoes or handgrenades scenario thank god.... Even though we all do it, I think it is dangerous to categorize girls into low risk vs high risk regarding HIV or carrying other STDs. One could be a virgin yet a IV user (highly unlikely but a possibility nevertheless). She seemed to have a number of previous foreign BFs yet you concluded she was low risk. Are you comparing her to a girl who goes nightly and thus reach a conclusion is is low risk? Low risk to what? Low risk to the daily freelancer or to to a virgin? Conduct absolute comparisons and not relative ones. Treat everybody (in this case any girl who works the scene or not the scene) as infectious. Okay, maybe GTGs who are virgins and non-drug users are okay but then one is taking their word for what they say. Another risky venture in itself..... Hiv testing should no less than six months after last contact with the host but some like to double the safety factor and say a year from the last exposure of that infected/potentially infected source..... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted July 2, 2003 Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 Actually I never though of her as a 'high risk' girl ------------------------------ If she is a BG, I AM TALKING TO EVERYONE HERE, hope OR Check she is HIV- but, for Godsake, assume she is high risk. i also think that any date of us in the west, would safely assume all of us farangs who indulged in sex in P4P places in LOS, are high risk, condoms or no condoms. I think the medical profession sees us as such. High risk does not mean HIV+, but closer to it than low risk situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 2, 2003 Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 wow........ I feel soo bad for her...... It is a reality that we must all face. Gota be carefull out there. MaiSabai>>>> What can we do to help? HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorldFun Posted July 2, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 By first HIV encounter I was referring to the first girl or person for that matter that I know who has come forward as a confirmed HIV+ case. I know HIV+ sex encounters are a bit tricky to estimate. I agree ALL BG's are high risk as compared to dating girls in my home country, but within the LOS BG group as had always though of her as an unlikely HIV+ & that's what scares me even further as those 'estimates' are blown to pieces now... Let me qualify that a bit. I'm aware of her being in the Pattaya freelancer scene for years & when I went out with her she had just started working a soi2 bar beer as well. Compared to her friend, which I know much better & longer, she is the shy & 'good' girl who never did drugs, never smoked, seldom drunk & seldom with guys etc. Also she seemed to be very aware of safe sex practice - well at least scared of getting pregnant... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorldFun Posted July 2, 2003 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 Says HIGH THAIED: wow........ I feel soo bad for her...... It is a reality that we must all face. Gota be carefull out there. MaiSabai>>>> What can we do to help? HT Not sure really. Maybe go buy her a cocktail at Tony's & comfort her a bit... It's not me, but her that needs the support Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlton68 Posted July 2, 2003 Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 Maisabai, she did you without condom so how much aware of safer sex can she be? And you? You turned out HIV-, let that be a warning. I can imagine your shock when you got the message that someone you know is HIV+. Not quite as I never fucked my cousin. My wife went with her cousin to get checked. Cousin turned out HIV+. That's been one and a half year back and cousin seemed quite healthy then. Latest reports tell that she lost a lot of weight recently. All the while she has been a live in GF of some aussi blokes (one for a year, the other now for 6 month) AND in the bars working when her BF is out of town. Scary, huh? Carlton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 2, 2003 Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 Hi, I hope to God, she realizes the need for her to be out of the business. Giving up, and no longer caring, can play a big part in this. Sad part is, most feel as though they no longer care who they take with them HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted July 2, 2003 Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 High thaied, The recently infected and now knowingly infected person plays a very vital role in whether the frequency rate/severity rate stats rise or fall. If the person continues to engage in sex and infects others, the rates will either increase or remain pretty constant. This is really a hard issue to deal with financially and psychology-wise. The person might feel vindictive since she herself was a victim. She loses all sense of moral responsibility if she feels her life is now over. She just doesn't care anymore about her own actions because people will more than likely tend to stay away from her or shun her or even pity her. I would image these people feel sorry for themselves and suffer a high percentage of depression compared the general population. No matter how much training or compassion one has towards an HIV person, there will always be levels of disciminatory practices against that person overtly or subconsciously. I am all in favor of gov intervention in helping that person and that person's family financially as well as providing mental and social services so that person is less inclined to continue to infect others who in turn put others at risk. The link in the infectious chain has to be broken and so far internationally we are not doing a good job. Yet by providing for the needs of a HIV person, we are isolating them from the general public so we indeed are discriminating against them. It sure is a double edge sword scenario....... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SingaporeSteve Posted July 2, 2003 Report Share Posted July 2, 2003 High Thaied said: "I hope to God, she realizes the need for her to be out of the business. Giving up, and no longer caring, can play a big part in this. Sad part is, most feel as though they no longer care who they take with them" The irony is that if she wants to face up to this and get help its there. I recall reading a UNAIDS leaflet or site that mentioned that the cost of triple therapy medicine in Thailand is now priced at about 2000Baht for a months supply. There are definately a lot of initiatives underway in Chonburi province as one of the US AID expats has just tried to rent my house for 6 years !!! I think one of the main issues though is actually getting help. To your point about what can you do? I reckon the best answer is to try and support her and talk about how this is no longer a automatic death sentence. A BG who I have known for a while and was chatting to a couple of months ago, had had a test that day (and still had the plaster on her arm) said she was petrified of getting AIDS. Over a LD, I asked her if she knew that treatment was available now and that people who had died before could not access the treatment available today. She had no idea. Therefore I guess the assumption is to try and carry on as best they can earning money on their back and hope that by sending it all home, that they can erase the shame they will have brought on their family when they snuff it. I actually think it would be an interesting concept for someone to open a business where its understood but not absolutely shouted from the rooftops that the staff have or may have HIV. Obviously not a beer bar or gogo but something halfway respectable that would allow the girls the ability to earn a living with some kind of dignity and that as part of the deal, their medicine was supplied free (or deducted from their salary) by the business. Something like a handicraft shop or similar would spring to mind. That way the farangs could buy things and continue to support the girls but in a totally respectful and dignified manner. I know Body Shop in Singapore positively discriminate towards HIV positive people if they apply for positions. With the right couselling and attitude you would end up with the most loyal work force in Thailand by my reckoning. Incidentally according to various AIDS websites the latest life expectancy figures for someone getting HIV now and with access to good treatment and doctors is a near to normal life expectancy based on the range of treatment options currently in the West. In Thailand I guess they are a few years behind but its certainly looking promising for those who can get into programmes and cover the 2000 baht a month. Perhaps we could set up some kind of scholarship although the issue is how do you keep it going and get enough financial support to make it a success. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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