MaiLuk Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 Another poster in this forum said: "the most important thing in a marriage is not having things in common, or deep love for each or anything like that, but the commitment to make it work and to stick by your partner, no matter what." The general wisdom i have always heard is that if the partners don't share common interests, they will grow apart. So for thai/farang couples is this true or not ? If you don't have common interests or deep love, then what is the purpose of the commitment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 The general wisdom i have always heard is that if the partners don't share common interests, they will grow apart. I think it's the opposite. When you start a RT based on shared common interests, and your interests change during the course of time, what else is left? I think emotional commitment, a sense of belonging to each other and the ability and the will to put up with a lot of shit from the other is what makes a RT work. Cheers, soongmak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosyourdaddy Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 I think that at the initial stages of the relationship a common interest would be important, but I have foud over the years that we have developed interests together. I like a few of the thai shows and football much more than I did before we met. She likes ice skating etc because of me. I personally think a committment through all times (good and bad) is very important. More so than a common interests. We spend alot of time together so it is nice when we can persue our own interests. (Like friday night with the boys out and about!!!) 4 years today we have been together and still finding more common grounds every day. Just trying to keep her from opening all the presents is the un-common interest today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted December 25, 2003 Report Share Posted December 25, 2003 4 years today we have been together and still finding more common grounds every day. Congratulations you two. And a merry christmas off course. Cheers, soongmak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted December 25, 2003 Report Share Posted December 25, 2003 >The general wisdom i have always heard is that if the partners don't share common interests, they will grow apart. Could be true. IME, the surface of common interests (same music, theathers, fashion, life style) is not that important. The rock under the surface was - being a builder. rich, poor, educated or not but bringing an advancement to whatever one gets engaged with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted December 25, 2003 Report Share Posted December 25, 2003 We enjoyed drinking together from the start and still do if that counts --seriously the only thing I'd like to share with her is putting her in some hiking boots and going for a stomp over the Yorkshire Moors in a driving winter storm but it aint gonna happen anytime soon --We shared one of the best times ever visiting her Thai friend and hubby in Linz/Austria and getting driven over the Alps into Italy in the summer--both new to us and an unforgetable time together. <<I think emotional commitment, a sense of belonging to each other and the ability and the will to put up with a lot of shit from the other is what makes a RT work>> I totally agree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokbutcher Posted December 25, 2003 Report Share Posted December 25, 2003 I can only comment for myself here, but for me and the missus it has been a combination of the 2, love and common interests. All the way through our relationship, our love for each other only seems to have grown (sorry to sound soppy ) and during that process, we have found out that we have had more things in common than we would have ever thought possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gummigut Posted December 26, 2003 Report Share Posted December 26, 2003 Not so much as common interests but acceptance. I don't say common acceptance because it is very rare do I see a truly 50/50 partnership. <<burp>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted December 26, 2003 Report Share Posted December 26, 2003 Personally, I think it is all about chemistry, positive attitude, being a good sport and openess to make relationships work. But I did have an interesting conversation with a guy the other day who made a compelling argument that intellectual compatiability is the key to a sustainable relationship. While we explored this topic further and the social aspect was a vital ingredient in his reasoning, I could not really disagree with his logic. In the broader sense, he was really talking about common social interests and relevant, understandable experiences. Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted December 26, 2003 Report Share Posted December 26, 2003 "Personally, I think it is all about chemistry, positive attitude, being a good sport and openess to make relationships work." All these things are important, but when it gets tough, commitment is still the one the matters. TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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