Guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Quote:-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aha, you mix relative and absolute poverty. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No, I don't. I'm saying that there always will be poor families. Bear in mind that the definition of 'poor' in the past and in the future differs. So you use "poor" in a relative way. But you insist that you don't. That's why I say "Wow, what a contradiction in your own statement!!! " I can only assume that you use "poor" in a absolute meaning for space but in a relative meaning for time. Or would you say that the definition of "poor" depends also on the location (USA or Thailand, for example). I'm talking about at least 4-5 generations (200-300 years). Ok, but then you just confirm that people become richer over the generations!!! Oh, excuse me, you call this "their life standard is improving". Up to you, I don't mind to change the vocabulary. Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 I don't need to define 'rich' as I don't use it in my statements, you do. I didn't write that you need to define "rich". Because I understood very well that you use this word in a relative way. Best regards P.S.: And by the way you used the word "rich" too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 My solution (which has solved a fair amount of problems all round!), is to give my g/f a monthly allowance. Sounds like a good idea. But can I ask how big this allowance is? Because if the family is too greedy and the allowance too small you could still have a problem. Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 [color:"green"] Certainly true for some families, but not in general. [/color] Compare the percent of the population that is "poor" today verse 100 years ago. You will see that the percentage has decreased. So in general it IS true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmedave Posted January 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 JoshINgu said <My solution (which has solved a fair amount of problems all round!), is to give my g/f a monthly allowance. What she does with the money is up to her. If she keeps it, fine, blows it on whatever, fine...or send a portion of it back home...fine. Its her money.> Yes, this is similar to what I do as well. However, I've found that giving a large amount at the beignning of every month leads to her spending it all wothin the first 2 weeks and then needing more, so instead I give smaller amounts on a daily basis which seems to work better for both of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmedave Posted January 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 ZAAD said <Have you ever met your father-in-law? I understand you'd feel uncomfortable (pissed) to send money to a 'stranger' every week / month. So I'm curious how your relationship is with him, if you don't mind me asking. You might feel a lot better about sending the money after spending some time with her family and knowing him a little bit better etc. He might be a man who deserves the extra cash.> I did meet him one time. He's a fairly fit 45 year old who spent the whole time sitting on his swinging chair drinking beer before charging me 300 baht to drive me back to my hotel. He hasn't worked for years, claims illness often (even once called saying he was in the hospital and needed money...a subsequent call to Dee's friend though revealed he wasn't sick at all, just needed money to pay his monthly rental on a motorbile he'd just bought. Members of the family have in the past encouraged her to leave me becasue I didn't give enough money. He couldn't be bothered to come to his own daughters wedding even though we were paying for his bus ticket, new clothes, and allowing him to stay in our hotel room at the Tai-Pan because I refused to give him any money at the party. No, he is a deadbeat who in the 2+ years I've known my bride has never once called her except to ask for money. He doesn't deserve a satang in my book. But Dee doesn't want to be a "bad" daughter and has the feeling that as a Thai she has no choice but to support him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Hi Itsmedave, Not an easy situation. He's indeed a deadbeat who doesn't deserve a single satang according to your post. In your left hand you have a man who cares more about receiving cash from his son-in-law than the happiness of his own daughter. Sending squat would likely have a very negative effect on your marriage. In your right you have your wife asking you to give her own father some (extra) cash. A man who you couldn't care less about. IMHO the right outweighs the left in this case. Maybe it's about that time for a reduction of his 'salary', no? Goodluck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyk Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Zaad said: [quote If you can't figure this out why should anyone pay attention to anything you post? Are we having a bad day, Mr. Johhnyk? Please let's not judge people (or their opinions) on 2 or 3 post only, shall we? Otherwise I recommend you to use this new feature we have here since a few weeks called "ignore user" Cheers! Sorry Zaad, I was being sarcastic and it came out like I was attacking you personally. Hope you have no hard feelings. Take care, Johnny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 All I can say is the father in law has got SOME KINDA BALLS... LOL How do those that are married cope with this? I will never know. Oneye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lembeh Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 >Sounds like a good idea. But can I ask how big this allowance is? Because if the family is too greedy and the allowance too small you could still have a problem. Not that big!. Clearly it is something that has to be "worked out" between the two of it (this is very close to the other thread) as part of a budget. I suppose I am fairly fortunate with the family in that they are not "too greedy". It helps that all involved know I work in BK on a local salary, so the "money tree" idea died pretty early on...LOL... It also does help that the g/f, I truely believe, wants to make it work and so we try to work things out together. One more little bit that helps, is although she gets her budget monthly (at the begining), an "extra" bit of money occasionally can be found for her as a "just because" gift, which is always very genuinely happily received. -j- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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