itsmedave Posted January 24, 2004 Report Share Posted January 24, 2004 After another scirmish on the merits of sending money to my lady's deadbeat father (doesn't work, doesn't plan to) I came up with a larger sociological problem which I attempted to explain to my lovely. She, of course, said I just didn't understand but couldn't tell me why her way was better than mine. My question to you is: Do I have a point or is my logic flawed? (no jokes about the dearth of logic in Thailand please) The system seems to be in the West that the parents take responsability for their children and by and large do whatever is necessary to make sure the children's lives are better than their own. The Thai system (which I read just last week in the Post or Nation) was that parents paid for a certain amount of schooling and then the kids paid them back for the rest of their lives. Now, my thought is that the system in the west encourages a general improvment in the accumulation of wealth and rising ecomonic structures as time goes on, while the Thai system encourages stagnation, which could be a reason why the standard of living is so much lower here, even though they've had a structured society here longer than many western nations. This is why. In the west, parent sacrifices, gives to the child. Child grows up, parent gives more to the child. Child gives nothing. When the child procreates, child now has sufficient money to pay for the new family. Child then KEEPS this money, saves it, and provides his child with even more than the parent gave him. With each generation, a new and higher level of wealth. And so on, and so on. *This is how it has worked in my family. Thai style. Parent has little money, gives little to child. Child schools for limited time, at which point he goes to work. Child is unable to save money to better himself because he must continually give to the parent. He never improves his lot, and neither will his child who must then support him. And so on, and so on. *This is how it has worked in her family. Many wonderful things about Thai culture, but this may be one thing that holds them back. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted January 24, 2004 Report Share Posted January 24, 2004 Hi, I fully agree with your train of thought, and just like you (I am sure), I know that there is no way you will every confince your wife (or mine for that matter ) of that fact Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted January 24, 2004 Report Share Posted January 24, 2004 Dave, Your logic is flawed because you over-generalise too much. Here in Belgium or even in the US it is definitely not true that your case of each generation is getting richer, on the contrary..... As for Thailand, using your personal example, I will use mine : GF is youngest of 9, all 9 went to Uni in BKK, 4 even also additional Uni abroad ( 1 in the US, 3 in Australia ), parents both worked double jobs to afford that, today they are old, in poor health and without a penny. Her mom spends an average of 6-7 days a month in hospital, bad lungs, bad heart, diabetic and 3 times a week a full dialysis. They cannot pay the bills, all 9 have set up a fund and participate each for 3K Bt per month, the only fair thing to do. My own parents own their appartment, have a car, a very small pension, and no problems, but cannot affor holidays. Once a year I pay for a 3-week holiday in Spain, only fair to them for all they did for me JMHO of course. Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted January 25, 2004 Report Share Posted January 25, 2004 On the surface it makes sense. But there is one major underlying difference between Thailand and the West (only one? LOL!!!) That problem is that there are no social safety nets. In the West, one works for a company and gets a pension when they retire. OK, not so much any more, but it was that way for our parents, and theirs too. And if not, there are also government programs to aid retirees (US's Social Security, etc.) What does Thailand have? Squat. If the kids do not help out mom & dad, they will starve after they are too old to work. The Thai gummint needs to begin a program like the CPF/EPF whatever ya wanna call it as has Malaysia and Sillypore (basically retirement programs, but one can borrow against it to buy a home). But there are a lot of problems that inhibit this... Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted January 25, 2004 Report Share Posted January 25, 2004 Hi BB Well done I think it will vary from family to family imo. My parents paid for my kids high school education (private)....reasoning being..better education and a good shot at a good paying job. I guess one day they (kids) will do something nice in return. BTW..one is in the medical profession other is a bar manager...following my footsteps. My wifes son lives in LOS with her parents..she sends funds for him ..not sure if covers everything ,if not the parents take care of his schooling and his needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted January 25, 2004 Report Share Posted January 25, 2004 What does Thailand have? Squat. If the kids do not help out mom & dad, they will starve after they are too old to work. Not exactly. The people who work (long enough) for the government receive a pension. Others, the majority, don't receive squat indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2004 Report Share Posted January 25, 2004 >>>The people who work (long enough) for the government receive a pension.<<< and only a very tiny fraction of the population is able to get such a job. and in case of helping out - it's a very thin line between helping out and educating people to be beggars. help to help themselves. but in some cases this is not possible. i am very much against blanketcheques sent upcountry. that can be in the long run counterproductive. but, as westerners in such relationships we have to take some responsibility, and that is more than just mere money. and that means that we have to learn something about our partner's culture and way of life, and adapt to some degree to that (as they will slowly have to some degree adapt to our's). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted January 25, 2004 Report Share Posted January 25, 2004 Not an easy one.... I'm not sure if she is working or not, but if she is not, I'd encourage her to get a job and send some of the money that she earns to him. If you are supporting her and she expects you to support him too, I think she is being a little unfair. Stick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted January 25, 2004 Report Share Posted January 25, 2004 [color:"green"] Here in Belgium or even in the US it is definitely not true that your case of each generation is getting richer, on the contrary..... [/color] Can you provide some economic data to support your statement? :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted January 25, 2004 Report Share Posted January 25, 2004 [color:"green"] If the kids do not help out mom & dad, they will starve after they are too old to work. [/color] What about the mom & pop still in working age squeezing the kids for baht? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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