Fiery Jack Posted February 11, 2004 Report Share Posted February 11, 2004 Q. What's the difference between a hardcore anal porn magazine and a Ferrari? A. There's no Ferraris under my bed. jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultras67 Posted February 11, 2004 Report Share Posted February 11, 2004 :bow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultras67 Posted February 11, 2004 Report Share Posted February 11, 2004 A guy is speeding along a deserted road comes over a blind hump and sees a policeman with a radar gun. The policeman pulls him over and says "do you know how fast you were going sir? " " No, I dont" "100 miles an hour sir, I will have to give you a ticket and your licence will be suspended" "But I need my car for my job!" "well you should have thought of that before you were speeding. What is your job?" "I am an arsehole expander" "What does that mean?" " I put one finger in, then two then enlarge it until my fist goes in and then make it larger and larger until its 6 feet" "what happens then sir?" wait for it wait for it wait for it " I make it put on a uniform and give it a radar gun" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky brow Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 > Subject: The best husband >. > > Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a > husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men > increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. > > The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose > a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down > except to leave the place, never to return. > > A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands... > > First floor > > The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women > read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not > loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. > > Second floor > > The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are > extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's > further up?" > > Third floor > > This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good > looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, > "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went. > > Fourth floor > > This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are > extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic > streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us > further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went. > > Fifth floor > > The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove > that women are f ** king impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we > hope you fall down the stairs." > > > How true, sky brow :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky brow Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Learn Modern Chinese in 5 minutes > > > > > > 1) That's not right .................. Sum Ting Wong > > 2) Are you harbouring a fugitive?...... Hu Yu Hai Ding > > 3) See me ASAP.......................... Kum Hia Nao > > 4) Stupid Man ............................. Dum Fu > > 5) Small Horse ........................ Tai Ni Po Ni > > 6) Did you go to the beach? ......... Wai Yu So Tan > > 7) I bumped into a coffee table.... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni > > 8) I think you need a face lift ........ Chin Tu Fat > > 9) It's very dark in here ......... Wao So Dim > > 10) I thought you were on a diet . Wai Yu Mun Ching? > > 11) This is a tow away zone ............ No Pah King > > 12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao? > > 13) Staying out of sight .............. Lei Ying Lo > > 14) Cleaning automobile ... Wa Shing Ka > > 15) Your body odor is offensive ...... Yu Stin Ki Pu > > 16) Great ....................... Fa Kin Su Pah > > > Who said chinese was a difficult language cheers sky brow(sum ting wong) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Fa Ni Shit, Skai Bao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted February 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 Military definition of marriage : its the only war where you sleep with the ennemy. Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted February 17, 2004 Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 Hi BB Nice one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted February 18, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 Thanks, some more then : Religieus definition of marriage : religieus act to create one more crisified one and one less virgin Daily definition of marriage : no woman has what she hoped and no man hoped for what he got Juridicial definition of marriage : sentence where you can only be freed from for bad conduit. Mathematical definition of marriage : a sum of shit, substractions of freedom, multiplication of responsabilities and division of property Philosophical definition of marriage : it is used to solve problems that one would never had if stayed single Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted February 18, 2004 Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 <<Being an Irishman, I like Irish jokes, so without further adieu:>> I thought you were an American? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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