B/G's and Boyfriends

[Guest]

This has been brought up before, but not much insight into it. Many B/G's have boyfriends/husbands lurking in the background. They don't talk about them, and are another part of their lives. Why do they have them, and why do their partner's allow them to prostitute themselves with other guys? I'm talking about live-in situations here, and not just b/f-g/f dating stuff.

 

I got to be honest.....having sloppy seconds/thirds with my own wife/gf is laughable. WTF??? There is just no way. But that is just me, and I do realize that there are guys out there who will tolerate it, and even get off on it.

 

So why would a prostitute even think to have a live-in partner? My assesment (which is probably flawed) is that these guys are her "safety net". She gets into trouble, and has someone who will be there, and help her out of it. They give her a stable anchor, in her otherwise unstable life. If she happens to not be pulling tricks on a particular night, she will not have to be alone for the night (meaning lonely, not sexual). And she has someone to spend the day with, before going back out at night (assuming she is not been taken long-time).

 

It seems that many have b/f's, in order to be able to live the best of both worlds. In other words, these guys are her "sammi noi" (minor/little husband). Not totally commited to them, but throw them the occasional bone, to keep them around, with no intention of giving up their occupation.

 

I see this as her motive. But what of the guy who has his g/f out there prostituting? What's his motive for being in such a relationship? A love sick puppie, who cannot ween himself off her? A pimp looking to dip into her nightly earnings? A guy who likes to hide in the bedroom closet while another has his way with her?

 

I can understand the mindset behind a b/g having a steady b/f, and the advantages that it affords her. What I'm not clear on, is the advantage to having a prostitute for your live-in g/f, unless funneling off a substantial part of her income for your own use.

 

The long winded question is, why bother to live with someone when one, or both, are spending substantial amounts of sexual time with others? It's gotta be more out of convenience, or some other reason, rather than love.

 

HT

[Guest]

HT ... there are as many answers to this as there are relationship, and while they may on the surface have some commonality, they are each unique tp that couple at that time.

 

So attempting to answer your inquiry would only be relevant to my relationship and no one elses and would take far more time, typing and energy than this board would allow. And unless you have been in one of these situations, it would be almost impossible for one to grasp, for there is no logic, or rationale that would make sense.

 

Perhaps others will have more energy to answer your question, but i find that those who only speak from the outside have only trite answers that ignore the 'very personal' part of these relationships.

 

Some things must be personally experienced to be understood.

 

So the short winded answer is; there is more, far more to a serious relationship than sex.

[Guest]

Hi LHL,

 

I guess I'm looking for a common thread, that binds all school of thoughts together into one cohesive package, which is unrealistic on my part, at best. A common mindset, if you will, that is prevalent with individuals, who have been involved in this situation. Of course all situations will be different, but I cannot think that there are not some common ties, at least.

 

Getting involved with a prostitute is out of the mainstream, to be sure. And from your response, I think in at least your case, involves much more emotions than one might suspect.

 

This is a relative dark area, and not often spoken of. And very much respect you not wanting to spill your guts. I am looking for a logical answer, to a question where there may not be one. I understand that completely.

 

HT

[MrX]

Dont really want to trivialise the relatively lofty discourse of this thread so far but as a minor theme but can members suggest what signs may come from your BG to indicate such a man is exists?

[Guest]

Hi,

 

Please read more carefully. This thread is about relationships who understand and condone what the other is doing. It's not a "is my g/f fucking around" thread.

 

HT

[Guest]

rompandadam said:

Dont really want to trivialise the relatively lofty discourse of this thread so far but as a minor theme but can members suggest what signs may come from your BG to indicate such a man is exists?

 

Certainly in most but not ALL cases the bg will not go L/T and almost never go for an extended trip unless you were a very favourite regular for a long time.

 

Think of the many girls in certain bars that never go L/T .... most of them have bfs or hubbies waiting at home for them.

[MrX]

Thought I put in a caveat, obviously not enough..... sorry

[Guest]

There is a rather infamous brothel in ChiangMai that was named the 'Housewife's Club'. Now many farangs heard of it, but few got to go as those in the know keep it pretty close to the vest.

 

Nice place, you could watch TV, drink beer at local prices, sit around a talk to the 60 or so girls that worked there, never any pressure and the short-time rooms were out back. Total cost for an afternoon of fun was 300 baht .... 400 tops if you bought a lot of beer.

 

Now I say afternoon fun because the girls showed up about 10AM and went home about 4:30 .......... because virtually all of them had kids and hubbies coming home for dinner.

 

Now yes they were Thai hubbies, (except for one I knew of, hers was Swiss) and I suspect that most of the partners knew where there wifes spent there days.

[Guest]

A fair question and I think Lao answered it well, for me anyway. Thanx.

[Guest]

HT,

This is just my personal opinion. It's just a JOB, and love is a totally differant situation for them. And that's they way they look at, otherwise you would just go nuts.

Chok dee,

HOKS