ptyrider Posted March 4, 2004 Report Share Posted March 4, 2004 You've been around, you're pretty well satisfied with your wife, girlfriend, or regulars, you speak basic Thai using correct tones, you know all you need to know about Thai culture. You've done enough for Thais already and feel no further obligations. You don't need anyone to take care of you: you take care of yourself. You go to go-gos mostly to watch naked women dancing and to listen to music while you're having a drink, hassle-free. Mostly. In no particular order: Find bars with a high percentage of Japanese or Chinese among the clientele. The girls usually look a lot better. But the music's doubtful and the drinks more expensive. Look for motorcycle and rock 'n' roll themes in the bar's decor. The music and dancing will probably be better, though the girls will usually have much higher mileage. If you do luck on a stunner and you're in the mood, take her then: she'll be gone the next week. Avoid bars with "shows." They're boring and the newbie farangs drooling are pretty disgusting to see as well. Walk into a bar, look around, and if there're no naked breasts showing, walk back out. Ditto if you see some idiot farang dancing on the stage. Even more important than sitting where you can see the girls clearly is to sit where you don't see some farang being shaken down by a horde of "adoring" bar girls. That?s a sad scene in many ways. Look poor and non-touristy. Wear your hair disheveled; shave once every few days, wear faded jeans, T-shirt, and cheap rubber sandals. Wear your wallet on a chain, biker style--greatly reduces the chances of its being lost or picked, hence you can carry your cards with less apprehension. Hide large bills in the zipper pocket. Don't smile or make eye contact or act in any way friendly to Thais to whom you haven't been properly introduced by a trusted friend--unless you want to transact some business. Hence, in the bar, ignore the girls sitting around. Watch the girls on stage, but not any one of them very long, to avoid attracting her attention. Similarly, ignore the other farangs, unless you want to hear about extraordinary "conquests" of the recent past, sports, which girl on stage is best, and advice on how to survive your holiday in Thailand, like keeping your passport and valuables in the hotel safe, etc. If a girl comes up and introduces herself, ignore her and say nothing. If she insists, give her a limp handshake and continue ignoring. If she further insists on having some inane conversation you've already had thousands of times before, the purpose of which is merely to get into your wallet, give her the standard replies, unsmiling: "Pom kee giat (nuey) quee, krab" (I'm lazy (tired) to have a conversation.) "Sabaidee liaew, krab." (I'm already content.) (This works pretty well. Repeat it a few times.) "Mai aow arai, krab." (I don't want anything.) To questions about "why you no like lady" you can say: "Mee mia Thai sam khon laew, krab. Mai mee tang. Mai mee pow-UH duay." (I have three Thai wives already, I have no money. I have no power, either. (You can embellish this last with how you have to have sex with the first wife in the morning, second at noon, and third in the evening.) You can also say, "TuRA mai shai, krab," (It's not your business), but Thais get annoyed at the idea that something is not their business and much prefer some covering fiction. To "what's your name, where you come from" you say things like: "Prasit" "Chavalit" (Thai names). "Pra jan" (moon) "Buriram" If a girl points to the girl next to you and then to you, implying you should take her out, point to HER and the girl. Careful this isn't misunderstood to mean you want both girls. If a girl starts pulling up the corners of her mouth implying you should smile, or plays "monkey see monkey do" by imitating you, just ignore her and look at another girl. Don't leave any tip; drink prices are already high, tipping isn't really a Thai or Asian custom; a tip (esp. a big tip) implies that you?re a mark for next time; you're not obligated and the implication that you ARE obligated is annoying and insulting. If you do (5 baht max), and the waitress implies it's not enough, then take it back. To complaints about not tipping or not buying a lady drink, you can reply, "Mai ben NEE arai, krab." (I don't owe you anything.) If you do want to take out a girl, one lady drink is enough to get to know her and agree on prices and services. Go short-time only: that avoids hassles and unnecessary conversation. To the same persistent question, you can keep replying, "Tammai?" (Why?) or "Mai loo, mai mee headpon." (I don't know, no particular reason.) If you find a bar you really like, you?ll soon be able to enjoy watching, listening, and dancing with no hassles anytime, whenever you go. And you can still play the games when and if you choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2004 Report Share Posted March 4, 2004 Find bars with a high percentage of Japanese or Chinese among the clientele. The girls usually look a lot better. But the music's doubtful and the drinks more expensive. I agree the girls are often better lookers, BUT the music I think is a plus because it will be disco or trance unlike the white trash rap crap in vogue now in bars like Tilac and Shark. I personaly can't stand rap type music and the girls don't like it because they can't figure out how to dance to it. Drinks more expensive? Not as a rule. Rainbow bars seem to draw the most asians and are 110 baht. It's usually the non-asian clientelle bars in NEP that are 125 baht. The reasons in my opinion to be leery of bars catering to japanese are 3 fold (1) they can be the smokiest (2) girls there may favor going with japanese (3) girls there may want more than farang bars. Walk into a bar, look around, and if there're no naked breasts showing, walk back out. Then you will be walking ALL night... Things have changed. Don't leave any tip; drink prices are already high, tipping isn't really a Thai or Asian custom; a tip (esp. a big tip) implies that you?re a mark for next time; you're not obligated and the implication that you ARE obligated is annoying and insulting. If you do (5 baht max), and the waitress implies it's not enough, then take it back. Totally agree!!! I'd move this one to the top. Although there are times and places I will tip the fact is the difference in service when you come back after giving a 0, 5, 10 or 20 baht tip will be 0. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samak Posted March 4, 2004 Report Share Posted March 4, 2004 "Mee mia Thai sam khon laew, krab. Mai mee tang. Mai mee pow-UH duay." (I have three Thai wives already, I have no money. I have no power, either pow-UH!!! disclose where you learnt your thai and does not make you a veteran in your sense! (You can embellish this last with how you have to have sex with the first wife in the morning, second at noon, and third in the evening.) could you elaborate on accurate sentences in Thai! thanks! To "what's your name, where you come from" you say things like: "Prasit" "Chavalit" do we know each other? and on the question, where you come from, you can answer "foodland" and 95% of the BG's will believe after some convincing explanations that this country indeed exists and want to accompany you on your next trip back home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadStockBroker Posted March 4, 2004 Report Share Posted March 4, 2004 Walk into a bar, look around, and if there're no naked breasts showing, walk back out. Try this in Bangkok and you will spend your entire evening walking back out of bars !!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanchao Posted March 4, 2004 Report Share Posted March 4, 2004 Brilliant, ptyrider!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very droll.. :-) Had me smirking all the way reading it. I think some people missed the cynicism/sarcasm?? (Enjoyed the "Prathet Foodland" country as well.. will try that sometime, though Chiang Mai doesn't have Foodlands.. Will try Carrefour instead. Doesn't really sound any weirder than Luxembourg or Liechtenstein really Cheers, Chanchao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ptyrider Posted March 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 A few replies to points raised follow. Escape Rabbit said: > BUT the music I think is a plus because it will be disco or trance > unlike the white trash rap crap in vogue now in bars like Tilac and > Shark. I personaly can't stand rap type music and the girls don't > like it because they can't figure out how to dance to it. Drinks > more expensive? Not as a rule. Rainbow bars seem to draw the most > asians and are 110 baht. It's usually the non-asian clientelle bars > in NEP that are 125 baht. The reasons in my opinion to be leery of > bars catering to japanese are 3 fold (1) they can be the smokiest > (2) girls there may favor going with japanese (3) girls there may > want more than farang bars. > Excellent points, thank you. Lately I'm best familiar w/ Pattaya, where what I said is generally true of the more Asian bars like Baby Go Go. They are more likely not to offer happy hours. Smokiest, very true, but in most go gos of any kind I seem fated to sit next to a smoker. By the way, if a bar girl stands in front of you and starts using your ashtray, move it to another table or hide it. Less selection is OK for many of us veterans . . . and hence so is wanting more, as they ain't gettin' it! And I'm with you on the music. That rap shit is worst of all. > Then you will be walking ALL night... Things have changed. Not convinced of this . . . on a recent trip to BKK I had the ol' Seek And Ye Shall Find experience. Vets usually know the bars that, if ANY bars are able to get away with showing, THEY are. We mustn't discuss these on the 'net, though. Showing makes up for a lot of other shortcomings of a bar, eh? In Pattaya it's pretty common these days. And Samak wrote: > > pow-UH!!! disclose where you learnt your thai and does not make you > a veteran in your sense! > Ha! True, this is bar-speak, which is hard to resist because it's so cute and you often hear it. I assume the girls have heard this word from farang who can't go another round and they've turned it into Thaiglish. The word really should be "laeng," so that "mai mee laeng" --> "no strength." > > (You can embellish this last with how you have to have sex with the > first wife in the morning, second at noon, and third in the > evening.) > > could you elaborate on accurate sentences in Thai! thanks! Well, I think it would go something like, "Wan chow pom dong ow mia luang (first, primary, probably legal wife). Glang wan pom dong ow mia noi tee nung (minor wife #1). Don wan pom dong ow mia noi tee song! (minor wife #2)" But of course you gotta get the tones right or it just comes out gibberish. > > do we know each other? Great minds . . . . And Chanchao wrote: > Brilliant, ptyrider!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very droll.. :-) Had me > smirking all the way reading it. I think some people missed the > cynicism/sarcasm?? Why, thanks <broad grin>! I did have quite a few chuckles writing that and glad somebody shared! I should add to my tips the following: Wear only a cheap plastic wristwatch, but one with a glowing dial or nitelite. Be sure to carry earplugs and a small flashlight at all times. Other useful phrases include "Mia luang lop mak, kee heung duay" (First wife is very greedy and also jealous). To which you might add, "Kao shai meet geng!" (She's skillful with knife.) And then maybe, "Kit wah, mia luang mah tee nee praman sip nahthee." (I think my first wife will come here in about ten minutes.) I've used this last recently and it cleared my sitting area pretty fast, giving me welcome control of my own (briefly rented) space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrX Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 spoofing is the highest form of flattery ...chai mai? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Not convinced of this . . . on a recent trip to BKK I had the ol' Seek And Ye Shall Find experience. Vets usually know the bars that, if ANY bars are able to get away with showing, THEY are. We mustn't discuss these on the 'net, though. Showing makes up for a lot of other shortcomings of a bar, eh? In Pattaya it's pretty common these days .......................................................................... Why not?? Although it varies by night, many Bkk bars are showing regularly. In NEP Voodoo, Pretty Lady and others make it a regular thing. Soi C'boy has it's share as well although all the places are a little more cicumspect than in in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrX Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 ." We mustn't discuss these on the 'net, though." .......................................................................... "Why not??" There is a big monitor lizard in the courtyard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ptyrider Posted March 6, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 Not TOO long ago a prominent commentator on the local scene (Trink or Stick, not sure which) noted that soon as he mentioned a bar's showing, that bar got raided. In any case it's not unlikely that the Thai authorties read these discussions or that some turncoat farang (paid, or unpaid moral police-type farang) informs the Thai authorities. The police do consider showing as illegal, hence bars have alarms to alert the girls that a Thai is going to enter the bar, so that the girls can cover up. So my view is that it's best to help protect bars that do show (our friends) by not mentioning their names publicly. Consider this another tip for vets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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