Would you tell? the Poll

[soongmak]

[color:"red"] You miss the point. People with HIV is not pariahs, but people that willingly endanger people of getting HIV should get an reaction. In fact if you have sex with someone back here, have AIDS, and do not tell, you go to jail. [/color]

 

I am not missing anything. You don't know if she's willing to risk his health. You're only assuming. Or were you there in the bedroom? ::

 

Again, you don't know what is going on, and you're willing to betray her secret and make her a possible pariah. When her secret comes out, she faces a hard life in LOS. She will positively be shunned.

[soongmak]

[color:"red"] In fact if you have sex with someone back here, have AIDS, and do not tell, you go to jail. [/color]

 

And rightly so. But the burden of proof is on your side. And you don't have any. So what gives you the right to take action when the police can't? Just try it, go to the police when you're facing a similar situation and they will be laughing at you all the way through the station.

[Nervous_Dog]

So the majority are arguing tell the BF when they them selevs would NOT have a HIV test, but simply take the word of their partner.

 

Sorry - you guys leave me little to be impressed with!

 

Talk about incosistances - more inconsistant than my spelling!

 

DOG

[soongmak]

[color:"red"] So the majority are arguing tell the BF when they them selevs would NOT have a HIV test, but simply take the word of their partner.

 

Sorry - you guys leave me little to be impressed with! [/color]

 

What you could induce from that is that a some people here are not taking the responsibility for their own lives (and their loved ones!), but see no problem calling other people on their responsibility - talk about sad and hypocritical! ::

[pattaya127]

but see no problem calling other people on their responsibility

--------------------

 

I did not see the question as "calling on" people, but telling someone his partner is HIV+. The OP did not make it an hypothesis, or mention lecturing the person to be told, which your post here seems to imply.

[Nervous_Dog]

Pattaya surely the question is simple enough, do you have a test before the start of a realaitionship? If not, how do you know the status of the other person?

 

yet the same people who'll tell some stranger their GF has HIV, dont want their own one, or themselves to get tested?

 

Doesnt that sound really weird and stupid?

 

I can accept your and others points you'd tell, I think its the wrong idea, but I respect your opinion, but to be hypocritical is just mysifying almost as much as my spelling

 

DOG

[soongmak]

which your post here seems to imply.

 

That's what happens if you only quote half of a single sentence :: , which alters the meaning. Although technically you're right, i hope you don't fail to see that not taking precautions to spread HIV yourself, but interfering when others are guilty of the same, is hypocritical.

[Grabii]

soongmak,

 

Arguable, as we see from the posts in this thread. But the question that Nervous Dog asked was not 'Would you tell a complete stranger', he asked 'Would you tell a good friend'. I think that narrows the range of debate a lot.

 

I also think that there's more than one way to tell a sibling or a friend that there's something they ought to be concerned about. There's the direct way, that farang seem to prefer in most discussions about Thai culture - 'You're new love interest is HIV+', and then there's the indirect Thai way - 'Have you and your new love interest been tested for HIV? It's a serious issue these days and the consequences can be severe - it might be a good idea'.

 

This farang would be inclined to use the indirect Thai approach in this situation (it's not always such a bad way to do things, especially in delicate situations), especially if I did not have 100% proof-positive about the HIV condition of the new love interest.

 

Indeed, as a concerned sibling or friend I might suggest that HIV tests were a good idea even if I was quite sure that the new love interest was 'clean'. It's a serious issue these days and the consequences can be severe...

 

Grabii

 

soongmak said:

But would you tell your sister that her boyfriend is HIV+?

 

There's a difference between telling your sister and a complete stranger, IMO.

[Zaad]

Soongmak,

"The big question is, where does this all stop? Do you tell the next BF? And the next? If she still doesn't listen, lock her away? Lock up everybody who's HIV positive? "

 

I gave my answer to this in the other thread. How convenient to spread this subject on two threads

I wouldn't hunt for her new bfs. I would try to inform him in the best way (as Grabii mentioned) about the sad fact if I happened to meet him. If I would keep contact with this girl I would also likely meet her partner my place, her home, birthday parties etc etc.

 

"you seem so awfully sure about what's the right thing to do, without having all the facts. "

 

Of course I don't know what the right thing to do is. Only time will tell. Even the most experienced professionals can't always know. Certain situations, people, personalities and current mental status are so difficult to fully comprehend that no answer seems right and things turn out badly as feared by many.

 

It took me a damn long time to think about Zenseless' question. I wasn't sure at all. I thought about the pros and the cons and IMO telling outweighs not telling. Am I right? Don't know unfortunately. I surely hope so, I do have the very best intentions. I think both options bring trouble, but as I said, not telling looks like the worst option.

 

Soongmak, fact is that I MUST make a decision. I feel this way becuase I'm involved in this whether I like it or not. It's not like avoiding to vote for a president because million others will do. Nobody else know and I do, so in this case I feel responsible for either telling or keeping my mouth shut. A or B.

Whether I choose one or the other, I believe anybody in such horrible situation SHOULD take at the very least the time to think this through instead of simply ignoring the whole chaos. (NOT refering to you SM, just a general comment)

[Guest]

Me, Myself and I = I would tell him if his gf has HIV even i don't know him.

 

For some who think that wouldn't tell him, if i know your gf has HIV, i wouldn't tell you following on your opinion (because i don't know you).

 

If i were that girl, i wouldn't even think to start new relationship with anybody since i knew the test result.

 

(From one thai woman's opinion). :bow:

 

Regards,

Jaa Ja