Money promise and the Thais are not hard worker?

[jasmine]

I ran into a Thai woman from Srisaket the other day in Virginia. She is a college graduate from Thailand (teacher?s college), married an American but divorced. We got to talk about making a living in this country and we both admitted that the Thais are not up to par in competing with the Americans with likewise education. I am NOT going into the quality of education in Thailand, which I knew that it couldn?t be compared to the one in the USA. What I am going to write is about her experience, a woman who was on top of her class at home, who thought she was good in English before coming here 17 years ago, who came from a not-poor family, a big land-owner rice farmer family who send all 4 kids to get college education, a struggle to make ends meet here in USA, a struggle to have a career. In fact she was not that different from me.

 

First her college education is not recognized in the USA (not surprise) and her English was not even considered good. Being from rice farm families she has experience doing hard work and needed the money to send to her parents and the ex-husband who promised the money never came through with the promise. So she started a Cleaning business. Working very hard (no kids) and is trying to hire the Thais only, does make her living here tolerable even though the income does not compare to the people with the success with the corporate America. However, she felt that if she was in Thailand, she would have much more ?honorable? job.

 

What interesting to me was that she said the Thais she met (she is in Florida) are not hard-workers, careless and do not take pride in the work. She said that most of the workers are from Isaan who complain about ?being tired? that she had to remind them how hard it was working in the rice farms. Also, they tend to steal and gamble.

 

However, the positive things she said was that every one of these Thais send money home, no matter how long they have been here or how old they are. Mostly they send to parents and their nephews and nieces.

 

The information that the Thais are not hard workers surprised me, for my experience I feel that the Thais I met here are hard workers. On careless and gamble, that is typical. On thinking that she could have been better off in Thailand, it is possible but I am not sure. On the ?white knight?s promise? for money for the Thai family who never came through is typical in my experience.

 

Love to hear your opinions.

[torrenova]

I must admit that my main experience of meeting Thais outside of Thailand has been in the catering trade throughout the world and also in the domestic service trades in Hong Kong.

 

The ones working in restaurants I never got to know personally but the ones who worked as carers for the elderly or domestic assistants (all female) seemed to work hard and appreciate their time off. Sometimes we would talk about Thailand and almost all wished to return but needed the income from the job in Hong Kong to send money home.

 

Some resorted to entertaining men for money but most worked their shifts and went about their existence. Not really lives I thought, just making ends meet the best way they know how. I had to admire that.

 

As for the White Knight, then I am sure that many seek that goal but few achieve it. The 2 week holiday millionaire is what most Thai girls see and even if they marry their farang, I suspect most feel somewhat cheated that he does not have big money in his home country. Promises of money often fail to materialise as I see all the time in Pattaya. I try to educate the girls not to rely on this as guaranteed income but they often don't listen until too late.

[jasmine]

[color:"red"] Promises of money often fail to materialise as I see all the time in Pattaya. I try to educate the girls not to rely on this as guaranteed income but they often don't listen until too late.

 

[/color]

 

You are very fair and I think from lacking of education and forgetting to think that men they meet are on the holidays which most people have more money to spend. Thanks for trying to educate them. I have many who really are dissapointed on financial situations and some do try to survive every which way they can.

 

Pressure from the Thai families can be extream though and I feel really sorry for these women, my question is why mostly women who want/are pressured to help?

 

Jasmine

[torrenova]

One thing I find difficult to come to terms with is the pressure some of the girls are under after they start work. Now these girls may have worked for a number of years perhaps making jeans or whatever and sending a little home. Then, when they decide to move into the P4P scene to get some money together for themselves or their baby, their families appear like locusts, forever begging for more and more and more.

 

Of course, not all families are like this but a fair percentage are. I somehow imagine that some in the village see themselves on Easy Street once a daughter has started in the P4P scene and constantly bombard her with requests for money, threatening impending doom, house or land reposession, sickness etc.

 

I like to see my girls keep something back for themselves, either for a rainy day or to stop the family wasting their hard earned money. I try to get them to open bank accounts, perhaps two; one that the family does not know about. I would hate to think that after finishing working in the bars, they have nothing to show for it, nothing saved and find that their family has wasted it all.

[Khun_Kong]

jasmine said:

<snip>

 

Pressure from the Thai families can be extream though and I feel really sorry for these women, my question is why mostly women who want/are pressured to help?

 

Jasmine

 

This is what I always wonder. Don't those (pampered) sons feel any responsibility towards their OWN parents? I know they are responsible for helping with their wives' parents, too. ::

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

" Don't those (pampered) sons feel any responsibility towards their OWN parents?"

 

Sons provide for the next life (by becoming a monk, however briefly), daughters provide for this life.

 

Sanuk!

 

PS I obviously don't agree with this, just stating the thought behind this phenomenon.

[Guest]

>>>Sons provide for the next life (by becoming a monk, however briefly), daughters provide for this life.<<<

 

 

 

a bit more complex.

the sons when married have to move in with the wife's family, take care of the wife's parent's. land in the old days was inherited the matrimonal line, while the youngest daughter who had the job to take care of the old parent's got a bigger share of the inheritance, such as the familyhouse in addition to her share of the land, or more land than the others. the sons got the dowry.

nowadays this has softened somewhat, the youngest sibling regardless of sex takes care of the parent's and he/she gets the bigger share of the inheritance, which nowadays is inherited equally regardless of sex. but it is still custom that the sons move in with the wife's family and take care of them.

 

in the middle and upper classes this custom has softened even more, and in the urban thai-chinese classes this was never customary. there wife's always moved in with the husband's family.

[jasmine]

[color:"red"] One thing I find difficult to come to terms with is the pressure some of the girls are under after they start work. Now these girls may have worked for a number of years perhaps making jeans or whatever and sending a little home. Then, when they decide to move into the P4P scene to get some money together for themselves or their baby, their families appear like locusts, forever begging for more and more and more.

[/color]

 

I have seen this too happened to many women over here, mostly with women with lower education and up-country background.

 

I understand about poverty for my family is just a middle class but believe in education. I grew up in the North so I was aware of many daughters are sent to work. However, many parents did not want them to be in prostitution, unlike many Isaan parents and many Northern parents at this era. I remember my dear late father used to say "How can anyone let their daughters be in such humiliated situation?" and tried to educate these parents. What the answer was "You are not hungry, how can you say so?" IMO, it is more than food now, it is to gain material things/

[color:"red"]I like to see my girls keep something back for themselves, either for a rainy day or to stop the family wasting their hard earned money. [/color] I hope they do, however, the pressure of parents are extreame. I posted several times blaming on the parents.

 

Jasmine

[jasmine]

[color:"red"] Sons provide for the next life (by becoming a monk, however briefly), daughters provide for this life.

 

[/color]

 

The truth is my parents, especially my mother believe this also. However, my family, including my brother, pampers and protects girls more than boys. One reason is as my late father used to say was that "It is the duties of gentlemen to take care of the women and men need to work harder in order to keep the society growing well." I am fortunate to be in such family and I am not really spoiled my 17 yr. old niece is

 

All my Thai male friends are very protective to their mothers, sisters and friends like me. It is a shock when I see parents as you mentioned.

 

However, I also have met a few Isaan men who are very loving to their sisters and mothers.

 

Jasmine

[Guest lazyphil]

Nearly all Thais both male and female I know who work here do so in catering, nursing and one is even a Taxi driver, she drives a Merc, pretty compitent at it too, does town work and even airport runs. I know of few slouches here, I said before I saw Thais graduating outside Kings College, Cambridge this year, I wonder if they stay here to work?.......I really couldn´t handle a lazy wife of any race!