check_bin_krap Posted November 11, 2004 Report Share Posted November 11, 2004 flyonzewall said:>>>After living abroad, they can even retire to Thailand on a pension from farangland. Its freedom. <<< that's a matter of perspective. for me that is slavery for the most productive years of my life. >>>But for the percentage who do make a life in farangland - surprise, they are more independant and free to choose than most in Thailand. They can go back and live in Thailand if they choose. They can support themself with work independent of ANY husband in farangland. <<< well, my aunt was a social worker. many years of her professional lifes she had to deal with the ones of that percentage who were not able to make it in farangland. many reasons, but the main reason was the farang husband who wanted a submissive servant, and could/would not try to understand their thai wife. endresult was terribly unhappy thai women, often completely isolated as the farang husband did not want his wife to meet any other thais, sometimes even locked the wife in while he was at work or out with the mates. anyone know statistics of the percentage of those marriages in farangland which have fallen apart? Even if a marriage breaks down, it doesn't mean that those years have been wasted. To brand life moving outside Thailand "slavery" for Thai girls seem drastic to me. I dare say that Thai/farang marriages in Thailand break down also. You are stereotyping by branding farang husbands in this post, remember you are one also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 [color:"red"] Even if a marriage breaks down, it doesn't mean that those years have been wasted. To brand life moving outside Thailand "slavery" for Thai girls seem drastic to me. I dare say that Thai/farang marriages in Thailand break down also. You are stereotyping by branding farang husbands in this post, remember you are one also. [/color] CBK, I have to admit seeing more "Unhappy" wives more than I have seen happy ones. Especially in Europe mainly in Germany and France. Currently I have contacts with Thai volunteers helping the Thai women in France and believe me, there are more and more unhappy ones than when I was in Europe in the late 70s. The main problems are, the women who are married now have less education than any time in the past and learning the local language is beyond most of them. Well, German and French are not easy languages, not even for me. Another probelm (I was told is ) the dissapointment both husbands and wives for each other. For example: the husband feels that the wife is not contributing enough and she wants the money he promised to send home to her Thai family. Getting a decent job is almost impossible for most of these women, of course some decent jobs can be found in restuarants, cleanig and other jobs that do not require mastering the local lingo but many of them are not trained as cooks or have never cleaned a house such as ones in Europe. I agree with you that just because a marriage fails, it does not mean that she has wasted the years, but sadly, it is the case of most of these women who used to use their youth and looks to make money, we all get older, and many of these women got too old, CBK. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 >>>To brand life moving outside Thailand "slavery" for Thai girls seem drastic to me. <<< you misunderstood me, what i meant was that the notion of holding a regular job in the west means slavery for me. just a personal thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 <<The main problems are, the women who are married now have less education than any time in the past and learning the local language is beyond most of them. Well, German and French are not easy languages, not even for me. Another probelm (I was told is ) the dissapointment both husbands and wives for each other> Jasmine (Mister anecdote here again ), we just had two weeks in Austria with a farm girl (and hubby) from Nakon Sawan, limited education yet speaks very good English and even better German (she went to school to learn German). Nothing is beyond them, just lack of education doesn't hold women back, I think the failure in alot of these marriages is down to the man their with as much as lack of education. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 if you replace the term 'education' with 'empathy' i would fully agree. i believe that people often make the mistake to overestimate education when it comes to relationships. what a crosscultural relationship needs espacially is *empathy*. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 lazyphil said:<<The main problems are, the women who are married now have less education than any time in the past and learning the local language is beyond most of them. Well, German and French are not easy languages, not even for me. Another probelm (I was told is ) the dissapointment both husbands and wives for each other> Jasmine (Mister anecdote here again ), we just had two weeks in Austria with a farm girl (and hubby) from Nakon Sawan, limited education yet speaks very good English and even better German (she went to school to learn German). Nothing is beyond them, just lack of education doesn't hold women back, I think the failure in alot of these marriages is down to the man their with as much as lack of education. I have actually found that a lot of the girls do very well with learning Languages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 Thai girls are pretty sharp and fast learners. My friend doesn't go to German lessons now, in her first year in Austria I think now just inproves by living there, I simply dont see why having a degree from a LOS Uni can make it any easier?....mentioned before a tg who drives a Taxi here, ok, not a high roller job with the big boys and girls, but it proves tgs with limited education can adapt very well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 [color:"red"] I simply dont see why having a degree from a LOS Uni can make it any easier?....mentioned before a tg who drives a Taxi here, ok, not a high roller job with the big boys and girls, but it proves tgs with limited education can adapt very well. -------------------- [/color] Phil, I quoted from what I have read and experience ok? Too bad for me that I have not seen many as wonderful as you tried to contradict me and I have NEVER said they are dumb. What is it to you anyhow, that you contradicted everything I said? Come to think of it who would know as much as you with the first-hand experience? You are a lucky man, but back off What is good English/ GErman or whatever to one is not the same to another, as I have posted many times that I have admired these people who can adapt and I am very happy for them. Of course a college grad. does not mean that they can learn a foreign language and learning in college sure is not like learning in bed as I tease all the time that to improve my French I need a French BF I will NOT answer you again Phil, go with peace. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted November 12, 2004 Report Share Posted November 12, 2004 jasmine do you want a forum of sycophants who hang on your every word you say or a few who disagree with you .... ok peace and good luck:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted November 13, 2004 Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 "you misunderstood me, what i meant was that the notion of holding a regular job in the west means slavery for me. just a personal thing. " ...................................................... Ah, I see Fly Some of us are suited for independent work, others not. I don't have the discipline you have. I couldn't cut it long term being my own master. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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