Guest Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 Too many time I have heard falangs say how much better a Thai lady would be if she had only gone with him. He would have given her [color:"red"] [/color] everything [color:"red"] [/color] . Is this true? Would she have gotten everything or is it another disillusional falang talking about the way he sees the world. In many cases the Thai lady has to leave her family to live in falang land. She has to drop her animist beliefs and in many cases, minimize her Buddhist beliefs. Even what she can eat is sometimes compromised. If a Thai lady declines a marriage offer, has she 'thrown everything away"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 Of course not. Bargirls actually have a life of their own apart from the bar and in some case it's not worth giving up for anybody. Simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 Zaad, I don't agree at all with your statement about "a BG having a life of their own". I think when they enter the bar scene, any chance of having a life of their own (minus being swooped up by a falang) basically disappears. They are really there to make money for the family or bf not for themselves. How many times have you heard a BG say I am here because i am putting myself through school or vocational training? No, it's about the demands put on them by others in their family. That is not having a life of their own. Also, ask how many non-bkk BGs want to be in and enjoying bkk? I have found none - that is not having a life of their own. Almost all desire to be back home if they were in control of thier own life... And finally the Bar structure demands long hours meaning falangs demanding time be spent with them not during bar hours. The bar is central to their life and everything evolves around their bar schedule and trying to satisfy falang/customer demands so that is not having a life of their own. How many times have you asked a BG what they do in their free time? The answers that i got back are " sleep, watch tv, stay in my room , etc" - they almost have to do with waiting around/killing time until going off to bar or meeting a customer somewhere else. It isn't like the bar is supporting them to better their lives' career-wise or supporting some hobby or other self-development interests... I don't see them "having a life of their own" - just the opposite effect due to entry into the bar scene.... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 "How many times have you asked a BG what they do in their free time? The answers that i got back are " sleep, watch tv, stay in my room , etc" " That IS having a life of your own Mr. Blue, be it a boring one. In this case she'd likely try the farang with shiny armor since she has little to lose and practically no or few ambitions. I'm refering to those who're trying to school themselves or their kids. Yes, those actually exist too and THOSE won't say 'yes' to any farang who drops by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 MM, Zaad, I am one who has made such claims of BGs etc making bad choices, such as not taking a good thing when it comes along... Let me explain. I know many BGs who claim to hate working in bars, going with customers...but when a guy comes along and offers them a way out, they refuse it. In my case, a girl SSG, told me she wanted to go to salon school, I said I'd pay for it, and support her, and also her along after she finished, she had claimed some interest in me to me, and some of her family and friends, so I figured o.k. Naturally, she refused ot, She also turned down a similar offer from a guy who lived in BKK and had more /big bucks. Basically preferring to fuck more guys for less... I knew one girl, who did capitolize on it, she decided better to fuck one guy and get an education paid for, apartment, expenses etc...instead of having to scrounge for customers everynight and have less... I am not saying a girl should necessarily marry a guy and move away if she has no interest in him, but hell, why live a dangerous dead end life when you don't have to? If a guy wants to send them to school, and pay them not to work in a bar, why not take it...? especially if it is more profitable than working in a bar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 [color:"red"] I am not saying a girl should necessarily marry a guy and move away if she has no interest in him, but hell, why live a dangerous dead end life when you don't have to? If a guy wants to send them to school, and pay them not to work in a bar, why not take it...? especially if it is more profitable than working in a bar? [/color] It is much more than what you can see in a woman OH, sorry I had to say it. When I was in the 1st yr. of Thammsart, turned down a scholarship to go to France, and England, my family was pretty broke, no gaurantee that I could finish the school, I met my ex-fiancee. He was 6 years older, a captain in the US AF. He offerred to send me to school in the USA if I married him, I turned him down because I was not ready to be married. Also, I wanted to experience a young life in my own right, even though he was my first love, something in my guts told me that he could be a wrong guy. Believe me I was correct on my guts feelings. For the case of a bar girl, it does not mean that just because what looks good to a man, sometimes, guts feelings does not seem right. Things are not black and white. However, some women will do anything to reach a goal, however, do not expect her to be with you once the goal is reached! Another thing you need to understand also dear friend, not all of the women want to go back to school. There is a BG who works in Pattaya but her mother lives not far from my mother's house up North, I met her on the last trip, she said that most BGs are taught to say that they wanted to go to school because "The farangs want to hear that". Think about it, OH. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 >Another thing you need to understand also dear friend, not all of the women want to go back to school. There is a BG who works in Pattaya but her mother lives not far from my mother's house up North, I met her on the last trip, she said that most BGs are taught to say that they wanted to go to school because "The farangs want to hear that". Could be. When they lied and started something it quickly died out and they were back to square one. When I asked my gf how are her former coworkers doing, she said - same, still chasing their tails. Most (except one but she has changed the horses two times along the way) had turned down offers because going to school was in the package. Ones that did leave the scene got simply married and whisked to the West. A bit of language classes in their new countries but nothing more, maybe driving school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 In my case, a girl SSG, told me she wanted to go to salon school, I said I'd pay for it, and support her, and also her along after she finished, she had claimed some interest in me to me, and some of her family and friends, so I figured o.k. Naturally, she refused ot, She also turned down a similar offer from a guy who lived in BKK and had more /big bucks. Basically preferring to fuck more guys for less... I don't know you or the girl OH, but since you bought it up it sounds to me like she was lying about either her desire to quit the bar and go to school, or her level of interest in the two said guys. It wouldn't be the first time a BG has lied to keep a custromer interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 "...I don't know you or the girl OH, but since you bought it up it sounds to me like she was lying about either her desire to quit the bar and go to school, or her level of interest in the two said guys. It wouldn't be the first time a BG has lied to keep a custromer interested..." I know believe this to be the case exactly! Jasmine, O.k. I once again failed to express this properly...so I'll Try again. Assume a girl has a choice, go with 10 guys a months, maybe get 15000 bht or so, maybe, or sit in a bar and hope a guy bar fines her, doesn't hurt her, and pays her, no idea how much, or, she can stay with one guy, have sex with him a few times a week, get 15-20K a month, and perks, and an education...? as long as she is going to sell it, she should minimize the risk and get all she can no? Especially if she doesn't like having sex with different ment men/working bar etc...? Also appears slightly more respectible no? I mean it appears she is in a relationship, rather than working as a prostitute. And a steady guy might give her family more also. This goes back to my comments in a previous thread, why do they throw away a good chance? hell, to me sleeping with one guy who i s 1/2 way decent to her, maybe even likes her would obviously be better than 10 guys who might not treat her so good, and she'd have less to show for it, many fail to see a good opportunity when it comes along... Many I know also screw up a good thing when they get it... but then we have gone over that before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted November 7, 2004 Report Share Posted November 7, 2004 cardinalblue said:They are really there to make money for the family or bf not for themselves. How many times have you heard a BG say I am here because i am putting myself through school or vocational training? No, it's about the demands put on them by others in their family. Cardinalblue I Have to disagree here (again) The gf I live with entered the scene to STOP making money for the family. She started improving her parents material life at age 13 and not in the sex trade. Several of her ex-co workers went to "work bar", married farangs and went to live with them in farangland. She was offered to come to Europe and stay with one of these friends until she could marry. Refusing to depend on anyone she refused and went on her own to "work bar" not having much clues about real bar life. I do believe it is better for them if they can stay in their country and enjoy the climate, food, beliefs and culture. Are they better off with a farang? No one can answer this, depends on too many factors. Same for anyone in a relationship. Human basic needs are food and shelter. Most farangs can offer more than that whilst there is no guarantee they will succeed in realising minimum objectives continuing their lives as they do. I do know many mixed couples living in LOS and 95% of them are doing fine. From my talks with the gf their objective was to fish a farang. It is a fact the family continue the pressure on their daughters, but then it is to us to deal with this. Some pay, some don't... I wonder if it are only the failures which come to the surface on this board. As for myself I am in a happy relationship celebrating our third anniversary in two weeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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