Zaad Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Guys, Are Thais very sensitve about this subject or do I just happen to know Thais who prefer NOT to lend money no matter what situation and under what circumstances. I lent money to a farang friend who was short in cash and my girl went berserk (well..close enough). And we're not talking about big buckes either, few thousand only. But anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that a friend needed money, had limited choices to turn to and I offered a helping hand. 'What if he comes back for more some other time', my girl asked. I replied that I'll ask him what for and refuse to lend if he's a dumbass and doesn't learn from his previous mistakes. The fact that I lend money to one doesn't mean I open my wallet for each and every one. I deal with such matters on a case by case basis, as I've done all my life, no problems as of yet. (knock knock...who's there?) Anyway, my girl and other Thai friends alike are convinced that money shouldn't be lent or borrowed as it might cause cracks in relationships. True to one point but then I ask to please describe the kind of relationship we're exactly talking about since money seems to top the list of priority and importance. That's just my way of thinking and where I differ to most people around me in Thailand. IMO money means nothing when we're talking about friends or family who're in serious need of cash when luck turns against them. Well, of course, if they fuck me I'll fuck them twice as hard. But thing is that I never let the WHAT IFs overrule my decisions since I'm optimistic by nature and understand that everything one does in life involves major and minor risks and one can't possibly stand still and question every single one of them, or even turn down for the mere possible scam. To give an example, when I asked my girl if I could ask her (wealthy) family for cash if immigration rules for some reason force one to show an X amount of cash in the bank account I don't have she replied they'd refuse our request for cash firmly but politely. Even if we'd transfer the cash back in a day and these people have more millions than I have fingers and toes. Don't get me wrong, I love her family, they're great people, mutual respect, no problems whatsoever, but I can't really understand such ..uhh... how shall I put it... such norms? In farangland it's IME pretty much spread and differs from individual to individual. But in Thailand....hmm I don't know. I'd like to hear your thoughts and experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 I have the opposite impression. Thais seem to lend money to others when they have, and borrow when they do not have. My wife used to lend money to her friends untill I said that I had no intention of working my ass of to finance thier gambling problems. Now we can lend money to one or two of her friends that do need money for worth wile things and that pay back as soon as they get money. Back home we don't ask our friends for money, we pay our own way and truth to be told we have money, and the reverse seemed to me to be the case with the Thai people I know. If you put our two posts together you would get: In farangland it's IME pretty much spread and differs from individual to individual and in Thailand it's IME pretty much spread and differs from individual to individual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Do you lend money or give money? The surest way to lose a friend is to lend money. Do you EXPECT your friend to pay back the money? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Friends and money never mix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelseafan Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 There's a saying....never a lender or borrower be... I've broke both these..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robaus Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Reminds me of one of my favourite quotes: "Before you borrow money from a friend, decide which you need more." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Zaad, please don't take ths the wrong way, but are your girls family Chinese Thai? I find the poorer Thais of Isaan especially often lend easilly amongst themselves. Mostly because one day they may want to borrow! DOG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted April 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Thanks for your post AF16. We have pretty much opposite experiences on this. Shygye, Do you lend money or give money? Lend Do you EXPECT your friend to pay back the money? Of course I do. BB, Friends and money never mix. You obviously see money as the possible friendship-breaker and I don't. I see it as flaws in certain characters (if they allow money to dominate any other feeling) which I'm happy to set apart from what I call 'friends'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted April 6, 2005 Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 It doesn't matter whether the person is classified as a friend or not.... What matters is if that person has a responsible/accountable character or not. We all know who or who not are these people... How one choose one's friends is another matter. If you wants friends who are liabilities, you select the latter... With thais, no different from anyone alse. One will meet asset type people and liability type people... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted April 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2005 Zaad, please don't take ths the wrong way, but are your girls family Chinese Thai? Chinese descent yes. I believe Chinese great grand parents ...3 or 4 generations ago. They feel much more Thai than Chinese though without getting into the Thai origin discussion. P.S. nothing wrong with your question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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