Two Boys Same But Very Different

[Torneyboy]

School holidays here in Sydney at the moment and we have had our sons best friend stay with us for a few nights.

 

He is Japanese and my son is Thai they are both ten years old and are due to move up to high school next year..Years 7-12.

 

My son has been with us for about 15 months..arrived with no english at all...now is not to bad but still a long way to go,

His friend speaks much better and his mom (Japanese dad Polish..but he ran away we were told today) has him do two hours homework everyday 7 days a week,before he can go and see friends and play.

He goes to bed 8.30-9pm week nights and tenPM on non school nights.

Our boy goes to bed about 10.30 and later on non school nights,home work is like pulling teeth without a needle.

 

I try very hard but it is not getting through as much as it should at his age..he reads a book for me and i then ask him to write out what the story was all about....he has no idea...copies the text from the book word for word...no comprehension!

 

We saw the teacher last week of term and spoke of our worries for next year..the teacher says he is at year three reading level..and agrees we have to make some hard decisions by September....repeat or go up to year 7.

 

The Japanese friend is so far in front (in the same class) on all levels..his mom pushes him for sure..we are to but i think he is lazy....he is a good and bright boy ..hate to see him get picked on at high school as he would be last in class.

 

 

Any ideas?

 

 

One sister said to think about sending him back to BKK for high school and come back after....this would break my wifes heart..

[Nervous_Dog]

Going back to Nakok would guarantee he'd never get an education.

 

Maybe his mum needs to work, sit with him for two hours while he does the work, tearrs I am sure at first (not sue who from ) but hard decisions need to be not just made, but action taken. Parnting isn;t telling a kid what to do, but actually sitting and being there and making sure it is done.

 

not picking on you, your a saint for having him, just think sometimes, as much as I myself find it a pain, I have to sit with my kid, make sure she does what she's supposed to do.

 

DOg

[gummigut]

Coming from a Thai educational background your son can't summarize because he was never properly trained/taught the skill. You probably have to start with him giving responses to direct questions on the meaning of the passage, and then hopefully you can progress to short answer question. ND's comments on spending the time to work through this with him is excellent parenting. Surely boring for you but will pay off huge dividends later on.

 

I think his best friend can be an excellent asset. You might try to enforce the same type of rules on your son. For example an hour (or 1.5 hours) of study before he can go see friends and play. If he complains, tell him it's not as bad as his best friend's schedule.

 

<<burp>>

[shygye]

Hire a tutor for the weekends and have him attend summer session.

[OCgringo]

its hard to keep up with the Japanese as far as schooling,

 

My friends daughter went to regular school 7 days a week here in California , then went to Japanese school on the weekends,

 

They always figured that even with that she would still be behind the school kids in Japan.

 

Not sure how you can make reading fun for him , but if he has any interests find some books about whatever that is

 

the younger he is the easier it will be,

near impossible when he is a teenager

[limbo]

Comic books might help.

[Nervous_Dog]

I like Gummi's comments, maybe you could get them to study together sometimes?

 

DOG

[check_bin_krap]

TB, school is not everything in life. Don't get me wrong. Do your best to improve his work. Most important, is that you agree with your wife that you will have the same reactions and expectations.

 

Don't send him back to BKK! And don't compare him with the crazy (sorry) Japanese. They might do well in school - but many of them have a serious unbalance in their life. The pressure to do well at school is too much to handle for many of the youngsters there.

 

Keep up the good work, I remember you posting much worse situation before. Give him love and understanding, and it will be allright.

 

Cheers!

[check_bin_krap]

Limbo is right. Comic books are good! My wife keeps wanting to chuck out mine, but I am firm. They, + books will help my son later.

[kamui]

Your son might be behind, but don't compare him with the Japanese guy. As others said before the Japanese school system is extremely cruel and in Japan it is still expected that the mothers quit their jobs when they become pregnant since they are responsible to bring their kids through "exam hells" the kids need to go through (from preschool to university). The Japanese boys mother seems to follow this path.

 

A friend of mine who is a single mother and works full time has the same problem with her daughter of eleven years. She just decided last week that her daughter has to repeat the 6th year, since she cannot afford a tutor for almost every day.

 

Almost probably your Thai son needs additional training and if you can afford it I would hire tutor since he is much better in going through the ordeal to sit with your son every day for two or three hours, or do you think your wife is capable of doing it?

 

I don't know, but sending the boy back to Thailand might? be the "Thai way" to deal with difficulties: instead of facing it, just avoid it, even this means a huge disadvantage on the long run.