Impolite Thai people

[Tiger Moth]

From your post:

 

"I'm with Pattaya127 on this. It is a cultural thing. It is absurd to label any behavior as "impolite" within a scope of a culture where this is a common and acceptable behavior. However, it may not be very flattering for the given culture if you think it through. These types of social behaviors and standards reflect how the culture views other people."

 

I looked up the word polite in the Merriam Webster dictionary. And of course, several meanings were given.

 

The first was, "of, relating to, or having the characteristics of advanced culture". Using this definition, my post that started this off and your experience at Central Chidlom would suggest, as I understand it, that Thailand is not an advanced culture in this regard (and it is cultural).

 

Another was, "marked by an appearance of consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy". And in my post and your example the behavior was NOT "marked by an appearance of consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy". Therefore impolite.

 

In summary then, the behaviors you and I discussed would seem to be cultural (Thailand not being and advanced culture in this regard) and impolite.

[cavanami]

This attitude is not restricted to Thailand.

 

I was living/working in Italy for three years in the Venic area.

 

I would ride the bus to/from work everyday.

One day, an elderly Grandmother was standing in the aisle. I stood up and offered her my seat. Before she could navigate into the seat, a young Italian man flew his azz into the seat.

I calmly picked him up out of the seat and the Grandmother was able to sit down. Both were extremely surprised.

 

Another time, I standing in line in a small sandwich shop. An Italian man pushes in front of me to place his order, with ten others already standing in line. Picked him up and brought him to the rear of the line. He had a puzzled look on his face.

 

The idea to "que up" is completely foreign in many countries...China is the worst!!!

[Tiger Moth]

To stay on subject but take a slight change in direction, I find that many attractive young ladies (I think of them as spoiled Princesses) often think only of themselves and having been catered to in the past, think people catering to them is the normal, appropriate behavior.

 

Here is one example: I used to live in Boulder, Colorado, USA. The bank I went to had a small branch located on the corner of a street that had several restaurants, including a Japanese takeout restaurant. The bank branch had a very small parking lot that had 3 parking spaces back to back, making a total of 6. One time I parked in one of the spaces and spent a brief amount of time in the bank. When I came out an expensive SUV was parked directly behind me blocking my exit and also blocking the vehichle next to me.

 

I was forced to stand there for about 15 minutes waiting for the owner of the SUV to show up. After 15 minutes, a very attractive young lady, probably a student at the local university, strolled up with a takeout bag in her hand. I angrily asked her why she had blocked my SUV (less expensive than hers). She seemed very surprised that I would question her (should a Princess expect behavior like this). I, she responded needed to pick up my takeout order (not, "I am sorry, I expected to run into the restaurant for one moment and not inconveniece anyone" - more like, "I wanted something, why, would anyone question me of all people"). I explained that her needs did not justify inconveniencing someone else (me, in this case) and she should have found a parking space where she was not blocking someone else.

 

I am sure none of this registered with her. She had done nothing wrong and I was just some cranky old man.

[Chlp]

Tiger Moth said:

In summary then, the behaviors you and I discussed would seem to be cultural (Thailand not being and advanced culture in this regard) and impolite.

We're in agreement. I would only add, "and impolite by Western standards." (Probably very polite by Chinese or Uganda standards.)

[Tiger Moth]

"Another time, I standing in line in a small sandwich shop. An Italian man pushes in front of me to place his order, with ten others already standing in line. Picked him up and brought him to the rear of the line. He had a puzzled look on his face."

 

Apparently many people believe that New Yorkers are rude. But, in this type of situation, it was one of the things I really liked about New York City. If the same thing happened in New York and you got in the face of the person who had jumped you in line, the attitude of the other 10 people would be "damn right". In fact, you would seem foulish if you didn't get in the line jumpers face - it was expected (and appropriate in my opinion). As a result, most New Yorkers would never risk jumping a line.

[Chlp]

David66UK said:

Was in a Bank with TG who was very very keen to withdraw some money from her account...

Great story in how it illustrates some of the dominant social behaviors.

 

I have a story that is almost identical. I was sitting in the last row on the bus to Pattaya about two weeks ago. Next to me was a 30 or so years old woman with a husband (or BF) sitting next to her. Both were well dressed and polite.

 

In the seat in front of us there was a mother with a 10-12 year old boy. The boy was getting increasingly bored and restless. Around Chonburi he started jumping around in his seat and kicking his feet in the air.

 

Around Sri Racha the boy accidentally kicked the woman sitting next to me. Instead of apologizing and settling down, he continued kicking around with more and more vigor. His mother occasionally looked at him but couldn't be bothered to tell him to stop his obnoxious behavior.

 

Within the next few minutes the boy kicked the woman sitting next to me two more times. She made an angry face but, instead of saying anything to the boy, she kept pulling her legs out of his reach.

 

At that point I leaned over and in stern voice told the boy to stop kicking people around him. He was visibly startled and he sat up straight and settled down.

 

The woman next to me looked at me, shocked, then she gave me a big smile and thanked me. Then her husband leaned over and thanked me.

 

While I don't think we can fully understand all of the social dynamics involved, I think there are a few dominant forces that work together with the result of the Thai behaviors that we observe. In no particular order:

 

[color:"red"]-[/color] People outside the inner 2 circles (i.e., strangers) do not matter. They don't know me, I don't depend on them, and I don't care what they think or how I inconvenience them. Examples: Many of the posts in this thread.

 

[color:"red"]-[/color] Avoidance of conflict. When others (strangers) are impolite or rude, you do not confront them. Examples: woman in the bank; woman on the bus.

 

[color:"red"]-[/color] Thais blindly obey those in the position of authority. Examples: Lining up on BTS. It has nothing to do with being polite. It's a rule made and enforced by people in uniforms, who occasionally walk around with megaphones and yell at passengers.

 

[color:"red"]-[/color] Loss of face. Best to avoid these situations as they can turn ugly.

[David_66_UK]

Interesting points to think over.

 

"Loss of face. Best to avoid these situations as they can turn ugly" - I guess could well be, especially where if "turning ugly" risks a greater loss of face. Maybe also perhaps not always entirely different to my world (NOT in NY!) where sometimes I will let things slide when I feel I should have spoken up - just because it is easier and in the grand scheme of things not really worth the hassle.

 

Maybe also a case of knowing (from learned experiance for some more than others) that you HAVE to fight your way to the front of the Q (both real and metaphorical), as you cannot rely on other folk to often (even if not always) to at least try and do the right thing / play by the "rules".

 

Of course often I guess it is a case of some folk just being "ignorant peasants" no matter what social class they belong to.......... or country they come from.

 

The authority thing is an interesting point, I do get the impression (of course I can't back this up with hard evidence......and obviously not everyone!) that Thais still defer to authority / like to be told what to do more than folk in the west. I guess this is learned behaviour, rather than anything inherent in being a brown colour and 5 foot tall .

[Chlp]

David66UK said:

The authority thing is an interesting point, I do get the impression (of course I can't back this up with hard evidence......and obviously not everyone!) that Thais still defer to authority / like to be told what to do more than folk in the west.

There is no comparison. No comparison.

 

Thailand is a very hierarchical, class oriented society. It functions within this model without much formal enforcement because it is generally accepted. Generally speaking, Thais consider themselves "subjects" rather than free agents. This is how they view themselves when they deal with anyone with "official authority," be it real or imaginary--with the police, with the gov't officials, and pretty much with anyone in uniform.

 

Just look at those clowns who direct traffic at building entrances. By the virtue of having a uniform and a whistle they assume authority and everyone follows their directions, no matter how silly they are at times. And you can see how much they love their jobs. If a car comes out at 4 AM and there is no traffic in sight, they will still blow their whistle (and wake up the whole neighbourhood) and thrash their hands wildly to direct the car. But, they are the men in charge.

[vox1]

this has been an interesting thread.

 

it reminds me of behaviors I observed in seven torturous years living in New England, USA, specifically Boston.

 

basically, many of the behaviors of the brain dead locals reminded me of observations people are making her about thais. one thing that stands out was how people were constantly simply walking into me, no matter how much I tried to accomodate my path according to where I thought they were going.

 

I finally came up with a theory that they were just too inbred and stupid to tell where their body/space ended and the next person's began. I tested this while waiting for the Boston subway; I would stand up against a steel girder, and watch as people tried to walk right into me, but veered away at the last second. at least they were smart enough not to walk into a steel pole. but it took a lot of effort not to do it.

 

I haven't found this anywhere else in the US, but then again, I've never lived in other areas where people are notoriously stupid and can barely even speak English, like the South.

 

but anway, I've found this same thing in Thailand.

 

are they self-absorbed and totally unaware of anything or anyone else around them? I think so, definitely.

 

keep in mind also, though, especially if you're a farang (or Black) male, that there's a game played by thai males from roughly age 17 to 30, called "geng falang," which is a kind of playing "chicken" with you. even if their intended walking path has nothing to do with yours, they will head right for you, just to see if you veer off at the last minute. this is a particular favorite of motorcycle drivers, I see it all the time on the narrow sois in the thai neighborhoods I tend to live in. just a kind of racism we have to live with, absolutely nothing we can do about it.

 

"keng falang," by the way, is not just limited to a thai steering their motorcycle into you. it's also practiced by service staff--including females--where they go out of their way to be their most extreme thai passive-aggressive to try to make you lose your cool. and if you do lose your cool, you're a crude falang oaf, and they're a "cool thai." no way you can win.

 

vox