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A rude awakening!


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Its 6 in the bastard morning. Im tired. And pissed off. I was fast asleep untill my GF slapped me in the face and woke me up in a confused slumber for having a bad dream and sleep talking... apparently i shouted out in my sleep in no particular direction, ''fuck off you slag!''

 

I can remember the dream, and i wont bore you with the bizzare details but trust me, it wasnt about her. It was about a business deal gone bad with a fellang woman. Believe me? Yep, thanks, I thought you would. SHE FUCKIN DOSENT!

 

She is now lying in bed with a face like bleeding thunder refusing to talk to me... In my sleepy, confused and bewildered state i have half convinced her that it was not about her, but now she is accusing me of 'fight talk with new girlfriend'. Apparently i have a bit on the side and just 'fight talk' with her in my dream!!

 

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT! I MEAN REALLY, CAN YOU FUCKIN BELIEVE THIS SHIT!

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Ha! I have just awoke after a well deserved sleep-in and as much as i'm pissed off about it and dreading what will probably be a day of cold shoulder, i cant stop bloody laughing!

 

Im suprised that you guys ARE NOT suprised! I thought this may be a new one for the book. let me re-iterate; she slapped me reasonably hard in the chops while i was fast asleep for sleeptalking! And now, IM SHAGGING SOMEONE ELSE! Apparently, the woman im shagging is a fellang! Where the hell did get this from!

 

Hang-on... she's up.... here we go; bathroom door slammed hard enough to wake the deaf guy 22 floors below.... Thai TV on full volume....Remote slammed down on the coffee table... oh for shag's sake, it's gonna be a right shit day.

 

Please, someone, stop the world, i wanna get off!

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:cussing: :cussing: :cussing: :cussing: :cussing::banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

 

The irony is, how the hell could i be shagging around? I havent even been for a beer on my own yet in the two weeks we have been in Bangkok! Im lucky if i can take the 5 minute stroll to 7/11 on my own!

 

Honestly, you should see her bloody face today! Im starting to wonder if maybe im loosing my mind and i have been shagging this mistery fellang woman!

 

Im taking down my England Rugby world cup winners poster as a precaution... she may use her columbo like powers to deduce im shagging Martin Johnson.

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