Ending a long relationship properly

[Guest]

If you decide to change garages to have your motorcycle/car serviced do you pay severance pay?

A nice clean break, no goodbyes, no I'll see you around we'll remain friends. No payments.A total break.

Your analogy is not valid. Ending a business relationship where you are one of many customers is not a hardship. A better analogy would be a maid or driver when you are their only or main means of support. It is cold-hearted and selfish to not offer severance pay, unless it is a hardship for you to do so.

Even ignoring that there are much stronger emotional issues at play. Only BadBlintz will know how much this girl was emotionally attached and how far he had gone in implying a long term relationship.

[Central Scrutinizer]

Rictic,

quote:

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Originally posted by rictic:

If you decide to change garages to have your motorcycle/car serviced do you pay severance pay?

**No, but only if you weren't fucking your mechanic! :-) Sorry but this is a bad analogy buddy. The guy has been seeing the lady on a steady basis for a couple of years I think he stated. Intimately, even though pay for play. He has feelings for her, even if not ones leading toward a girlfriend/marriage situation. Hardly like changing mechanics because you've found one you like better, is a better mechanic, his shop is closer to the house, whatever. Too simplistic an analogy here, and not taking into consideration the human elements involved here in a relationship such as this, even when money is involved.

"The reason if any that she is going to get pissed at you is "You now belong to her"

and any money you spend on girls belongs to her. A nice clean break, no goodbyes, no I'll see you around we'll remain friends."

**I agree here. Better to make it quick, clean, and the sooner the better really.

 

"No payments.A total break.

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"

**I don't agree. If he can afford it, and it helps her, and makes for a more amiable break from what he obviously sees as "some" sort of a relationship, then I say it's a good idea. Stick and a couple of the guys in this thread referred to this money as "severance pay". I'd call it more of a "tip" for her friendly good service over the years, and the enjoyment of her company, which was more than just a "lube job and oil change and the occasional tune-up" if you read his post the way I did. He obviously cares about her and wants to do the "right" thing by her. If it doesn't break his bankroll I don't see the problem with a "tip". Keeps it friendly, yet still a "business transaction" in a sense. Which she should understand, and be grateful for his gesture, which he's under no real obligation to do or provide. He seems a nice sort to even think about it.

Just my opnion.

Cent

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by FarangDang:

[qb]If you decide to change garages to have your motorcycle/car serviced do you pay severance pay?

A nice clean break, no goodbyes, no I'll see you around we'll remain friends. No payments.A total break.

Your analogy is not valid. Ending a business relationship where you are one of many customers is not a hardship. A better analogy would be a maid or driver when you are their only or main means of support. It is cold-hearted and selfish to not offer severance pay, unless it is a hardship for you to do so.

[QB]

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No, he has stated that she has other customers and that it was not exclusive. If she was a kept-woman/mia-noi or whatever you want to call it, that would be totally different IMO. But the relationship was 'regular-customer'.

He can still check up on her from time to time, and if she's stuggling help her out.

[Guest]

No, he has stated that she has other customers and that it was not exclusive. If she was a kept-woman/mia-noi or whatever you want to call it, that would be totally different IMO. But the relationship was 'regular-customer'.

Read it again:

"two times a week, and she has gotten accustomed to having this income,"

Assuming this girl is bought out EVERY night (which is extremely unusual, you must agree), then he was providing for almost 1/3 of her income. BB, mentioned that he probably pays her more than average, so I would be surprised if she wasn't making 50-100% more than she was before. Now that he's down to once a week, I'm sure she's already feeling the financial pinch.

But we don't have to speculate, he told us that she has indeed become accustomed to the extra income. She has taken on new expenses and he has not (as far as we know) strongly discouraged that. In a perfect world maybe she would have saved all the extra money, but BB would be pretty low not to help her transition back to her regular income, if he truly cares about her.

[Lamock Chokaprret]

If you've been seeing her for between 1-3 years, Thai law is specific that you owe her 3 months severance.

Severance Requirements

[Guest]

Well, a couple of things. First of all, this girl is not a bar girl of the sort we're familiar with; she's a low class pro who deals mainly with Thai clientele who see her for 30 minute quickies. I spend two hours at a time with her, and I'm sure this is a lot more money than she gets from the Thais.

She bought a cell phone some time ago (which I criticized her for, telling her it's better to put money in the bank). I don't know whether she also got a better apartment or anything like that due to the higher income. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't.

Tonight was one of our regularly scheduled appointments (never again will I set up an arrangement like this, where she comes whether I'm in the mood or not). I dealt with the problem by telling her that i was too busy tonight, but I paid her for the session anyway. I told her to come back same time next week, when maybe I'll pay her again and have some other excuse.

Problem is that since I met this other girl, I don't really want to sleep with my old standby anymore. I think I've lost my attraction for her.

I hope I can gradually get her accustomed to doing without me.

[Guest]

Post deleted by DoxyBlue

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by Lamock Chokaprret:

If you've been seeing her for between 1-3 years, Thai law is specific that you owe her 3 months severance.

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I dont't get it, she was not an employee. More like a freelance worker. You were a regular customer, not her employer, and you don't 'owe' anything, no matter how good a customer you were.

BadBlintz, you didn't really state how she has gotten accustomed to the income from him, only speculating she may have gotten a better apartment and that she bought cell phone. If she's made commitments of future income - an better apartment, car/motorbike payments, putting her kids in school, etc. - then it's kind of mean to cut her off, and a 'severance' is the kind thing to do. If it's just lifestyle changes she would have to make - eating out, partying, buying and using amenities like cell phones, etc. I would find it hard to be that sympathetic. I know if I feared retaliation like stickman suggests then I'd by all means put my mind at rest and spend the money.

I wholeheartedly agree with the poster who said you should end it quickly and unambiguosly. You could end up mucking up things with your new lady if you don't.

[Guest]

Forget paying her severance, if she has over commited herself on mobile phones and flashy accomodation, then its her own fault. Your not responsible for her spending all your hard earned cash in irresponsible ways. It's gonna get nasty any way you do it, severity of her nastiness will depend on how much she loses face.

See what her response is when you tell her its Finish Time - Dont be suprised if you get "yet-mai ahear" a few times.

Just a thought;

Tell her your joining the foreign legion....

[Old Hippie]

I have to agree with db_sed_aloha on this, public place, severence, and avoid her at all costs. If she sees you in one of her haunts, she is liable to take it as a gesture that you want her back, and could turn into a serious face issue if you reject her on her turf. Good luck and let us know how it goes.