Guest Posted February 12, 2002 Report Share Posted February 12, 2002 I have been paying a young Thai girl for a year and a half, seeing her usually two times a week, and she has gotten accustomed to having this income, which puts her in a much better financial position than other working girls. She has gotten a cell phone and who knows what else...maybe got a better apartment because of the income from me? I don't know. I've slept with this woman many more times than I did with my ex-wife over four years. But she's young enough to be my daughter, is illiterate (a Hill Tribe girl) and otherwise is not my type, really, as far as marriage goes. Now I've met someone new who I really like, and feel like I'll have to end this. I've started tapering off, have been seeing her just once a week instead of two, which seems to upset her a lot. She is not exclusive to me, sees others, but I don't think the others pay her nearly as much as I do. What is the best way to end this? Should I tell her that I've met someone who is closer to my age and more appropriate, or is that a no-no? Should I lie? Should I give her severance pay? (I'm not rich, but could afford some severance pay) I care about this woman a lot. She has two young children. I want to do the right thing. Would appreciate all advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
utah2001 Posted February 12, 2002 Report Share Posted February 12, 2002 quote: Would appreciate all advice. After my first trip to Bangkok, I knew everything. After 4 trips and a year long relationship with a B/G, I' realize I know nothing. That being said, the "severance pay" idea worked for me. I didn't spend a whole lot, but it seemed to make a horribly awkward situation go a little easier. And I was honest about why I was ending it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted February 12, 2002 Report Share Posted February 12, 2002 unless she is going to be a friend in your life, why are you seeing her at all? don't waver on this one. I know it is tough to sever ties, but focus your time and money on sustainable relationships. cut the ties now! she is young, will pout, but she is not going to roll up into a ball a die. She will search for other major donors they all do. she will survive and you need to move on. we let our guilty feelings get in our way which I know is tough but work through it a small serverence is a nice gesture on your part. Just don't let her advanatge of your compassion and empathy. They know how some of us are and will play this to the last lemon drop........ cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 12, 2002 Report Share Posted February 12, 2002 quote: Originally posted by BadBlintz: She is not exclusive to me, sees others, but I don't think the others pay her nearly as much as I do. Sounds like this relationship is one of customer/prostitute, irreguardless of feelings you may have for her. If she has feelings for you, giving her a 'severence' isn't going to help. You owe her nothing. Even if she has gotten 'used to' the money you give her, it's not an entitlement. If she's been working that long she's demonstrated her commitment to the 'job', so I don't think you need to worry about her or her kids. Just my opinion. Of course the real answer here is 'up to you'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted February 12, 2002 Report Share Posted February 12, 2002 Hi, "What is the best way to end this? Should I tell her that I've met someone who is closer to my age and more appropriate, or is that a no-no? Should I lie? Should I give her severance pay?" Certainly don't lie. If, like you say, you care about her than she deserves to hear the truth. So, I guess I would go with the first option. Severance pay? Up to you. It is probably not necessary, but it would certainly be appreciated. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted February 12, 2002 Report Share Posted February 12, 2002 You have been a lot to this girl and to pull the rug out from underneath her is gonig to be a huge shock to the system. In terms of severance pay, and in terms of both reducing the shock and reducing the chances that she might "flip", I'd give her a BIG severance payout. I'm not sure what you are payign her I'd figure around 2 months worth of what ever you have been paying her would suffice. Yes, I'm a cynic so what I am abotu to say might shock you. These girls can react negativcely to such situations and might start causign you soem grief - gonig to your place of work, apartment and generally making a pin in the ass of themselves. A generous severance pay would help reduce the chances of this. I don't know what you and her have said to each other, but it may well be that she thought you were going to marry her, opr at least that this deal was longer term. Exceed her expectations with a big payout and I feel that potential problems will be reduced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 Thanks for the advice. I think I've made it clear to her that this wasn't going to lead to marriage by often trying to persuade her to work at a more upscale establishment where she could make a lot more money seeing men. I mean, a marriage minded guy would not be encouraging her in that direction, would he? I'll mull over all this good advice. Maybe I should just keep seeing her, not quite as often, tapering off ever so gradually that she will have time to get used to it. But the new girl I met probably won't like that. Then again, today I was walking all over town looking at girls, trying to see if I could find someone who looks nicer than the new girl. Any excuse not to commit. Stickman, I may wind up taking your advice, but this girl is exceedingly shy. I can't picture her stalking me and raising hell at my apartment building. [ February 12, 2002: Message edited by: BadBlintz ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMAN Z28 Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 They all seem shy. Especially the one who made her fingers into a scisor motion, and said "when you sleep, I cut you dick off" I didn't need to thin about this, but the LT got turned into a short time. I don't mean to flame, but she was so nice and sweet, and innocent, I never would have guessed the bitch in her. I treated her with respect, and after the sex, this is the way I was treated. This circumstance is nowhere near yours, but just shows they can change. ZMAN Z28 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gun Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 quote: Originally posted by BadBlintz: [QB]Stickman, I may wind up taking your advice, but this girl is exceedingly shy. I can't picture her stalking me and raising hell at my apartment building.QB] You need to consider that you might not only be dealing with her. There is a good chance that she will have 'financial advisors' willing to help her to work on a few schemes for a little cut of the profits. Certainly not definite that you will have any problems, you should know her reasonably well by now, but you should always keep yourself aware of the possibilities, especially if you are in a vulnerable situation regarding work, visas or whatever. Whatever you decide to do is not going to guarantee any sequence of events to follow, even if you are more than fair, she might just see that as a sign of your potential as a future source of income. Be careful out there! LG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 If you decide to change garages to have your motorcycle/car serviced do you pay severance pay? The reason if any that she is going to get pissed at you is "You now belong to her" and any money you spend on girls belongs to her. A nice clean break, no goodbyes, no I'll see you around we'll remain friends. No payments.A total break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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