How different is thai love?

[thalenoi]

In an other tread I mentionned the gf's sister getting married to an other guy two months after the birth of a child from husband #1 and suffice to say the first marriage was one week before the child came to the world.

 

It's about the second man. Sis went to work factory Rayong and this man felt in love with her. It was a hopeless love because she listened to the advances of the "thinner sniffing boy" who got her pregnant and married her as #1. So "thinner boy" also was deeply in love and worked on her feelings by promising her the moon and the stars. The other sisters scolded her rightly for being so stupid to fall for "thinner boy".

 

Anyway, when "thinner boy" got evicted #2 took his chance and proposed a second marriage, accepting the fresh born child just like that. Wow, must he be deeply in love to do such a thing, Love no different from our definition I think, lots of heavy emotions.

 

I listened to the gf's stories:

When she was 14 she had this 2 year older boy who came to her dirt poor hut declaring his love and wanting to marry her. She had no feelings for the boy and told him to leave her alone.

The boy cried and cried and begged for months at no avail. He talked about suicide and pressures like that.

 

When she was 18 she fell in love with a boy from the village. She dreamed they would be happy together but he never noticed her and in the end married an other girl. That left my actual gf desperate and she left the village to become a maid working in Bangkok. She decided to forget about men, but work and sent money to her parents to finance purchase of land, build house etc. She did this job for 12 years, ignoring the males, having fun with co-workers, some shopping, going to the movies and watching TV in her room, but with "no man for me" in her head, mourning so many years for a failed love.

 

So it seems to me they experience the same emotional love that we know. Add some other cultural dimensions such as family importance, security, status and you get "thai love"???

 

It's worth mentionning that during my first 2 years at university none of us male students had any chance with the female students. They only had eyes for the guys who were close to getting their degrees. Same same: security, money, career.

 

Your thoughts are welcome.

[drogon]

I agree with you that they have they can love genuinely like other human beings.

 

(what is love? Could you define it?)

 

and I really think that they are not different in this respect from others even despite some cultural things you mentioned (security, status etc....).

 

- Money is important (is it the power?) in our western societies too.

 

- Social status is also valued.

etc......

 

I do not see real differences from our societies, maybe just the names are different but basically they are looking for the same things like other women.

Point is: Maybe their priorities could differ on the surface.

[Old Hippie]

Really different, and oftwen based on who well you "take care me..."

[Julian2]

Love to girls is what TV soapies tell them it should be. Sure traditionally it wasn't an issue in marriage but now days they are just the same as US/Australian/Euro girls are.

Whole cultures are being trashed by Neighbours and it's spin offs.

[Old Hippie]

There is that, coupled with the drama of "I lub man from xyz, but man from PDQ give more money, what I do...?" Funny/annoying at times, silly to see the ideas they have of what they need/want...never seems to be enough...

[Torneyboy]

Julian2 said:

Love to girls is what TV soapies tell them it should be. Sure traditionally it wasn't an issue in marriage but now days they are just the same as US/Australian/Euro girls are.

Whole cultures are being trashed by Neighbours and it's spin offs.

 

My Thai wife loves to watch Neighbours....hates the "bad" man...Paul Robinson... ::

[soongmak]

I think you answered your own question perfectly. Thai women experience emotional love just as ladies anywhere else. But women are pragmatic sensible beings. Most of them will first question themselves if they can AFFORD to fall in love with a guy. Because thai society offers less financial security than our western welfare states, coupled with a moral obligation to take care of their parents, for most thai ladies finances play a bigger role in deciding who they get involved with. The more insecure a woman feels, the more she will look to an older, affluent guy to fulfill that basic need for security and compromise her emotions.

[drogon]

Nope

 

This is an issue (rare?) where I feel the thai are more honest thant our westerner societies.

 

I studied quite a few surveys and studies in the sociology courses which demonstrated that our western women are not less materialistic than their thai sisters.

 

The thai may value material and financial security as much as their western counterparts but in a less (for once) disguised way.

 

do not let the crap concept of "true love pure and not spoiled by money" of our western countries hide the fact that you end up paying for it too....

 

Now to me, where the difference lies is in the way we and thai perceive that...

Just IMO

 

but women will cost you a lot anywhere and maybe more in our societies => women cost a lot everywhere.

[soongmak]

Nope

This is an issue (rare?) where I feel the thai are more honest thant our westerner societies.

 

Drogon,

 

I see your answer is directed to my post, but i have the feeling you don't understand what I wrote. Where did I say that western society is more honest when it comes to matters of the heart?

 

I studied quite a few surveys and studies in the sociology courses which demonstrated that our western women are not less materialistic than their thai sisters.

 

Where did I say thais were more materialistic? :: What I said is that in western society the basic need for financial security is better provided for. I alo said that the need for financial security had to do with how insecure the person in question feels. That is in no way incompatible with your view.

 

do not let the crap concept of "true love pure and not spoiled by money" of our western countries hide the fact that you end up paying for it too....

Now where did you get the I idea that I subscribe to the true and pure love ideal as sold by hollywood movies? I understand fully well that relationships are complex and are influenced by many factors, including personality, culture, need for safety, etc. I thought my post showed ample proof of that.

 

If you read my post carefully you will see that I said that thai just as western people would love to have a relationship with someone they feel emotionally attached to. I only said sometimes they can't afford to follow their emotions because of security issues, just as anywhere else.

[JJsushi]

Thai love? Shit appears to be the same to me as emotional love in the West maybe it is demonstrated or expressed a bit differently.

 

I know one thing is for sure, I have never met women in their 20's that act more like teenage girls than Thai chicks. They seem to be a bit immature and too idealistic when it comes to crushes, love and relationships. With some of them I felt like I was dealing with silly high school girls.

Thai dudes seem to be even more immature than the chicks.

Maybe the difference is that Americans are inundated with sexual content and view the acting out of intimate adult relationships by the media from a very early age whereas you don't see the blatant sexuality in the Thai media.