Flipside.

[Maco88]

I am getting kinda bored by those phrases, No offense Maco, you are new here it is the first time you have used it!

 

Yes trust is something you gotta earn! That's why it is better to wait before you are making the next step! Earn it and go ahead!

 

Using a PI is probably giving you some more insight but what when she finds out about it? In this case you would have same trouble to earn her trust!

 

I find it really fucked up to spy on a girl! Maybe I am a privacy moralist, all I know is that if my girl would spy me out by an PI her suitcase would fly out of the window!

 

Guys you don't own these girls just because you give them a few dollars!

 

Don't trust her don't - take her. what a little wee person I gotta be to spy on my girlfriend??

 

Seriously, have you ever done that in your home country? If I feel it is necessary to spy on my girl then I will most likely never trust her entirely and will most likely fuck it up sooner or later.

 

If you think she is a cheating bitch just let her go or get some self esteem! My default opinion is that a girl that is cheating on me must be out of her mind. Well my ego is bigger than my head but I haven't been cheated yet! I don't need a PI to check if my girl is good one or not, I still have my instincts that I can trust!

 

Maco, how about respect in this case?

 

Sorry CT, disagree with you on this one.

 

With what goes on in the world these days, and the shananigans women get up to you would be crazy not to know all you can about her past.

Don't forget we are talking about Thailand here, and their culture & situation in life is alot different to our's back home.

 

Each to his own, but if there is any doubt, its your obligation to find out whatever way you must to avoid alot of pain later, & I do mean, alot (ie. possible suicide in some cases). All this guy needs is some re-assurance, after that its up to him & her to built a life, providing all checks out.

 

As for her finding out, well thats what a PI is for.. for her never to find out.

 

Bit like a pre-nup. What will happen when you whip out the papers and tell your teeruk, "honey I love you, but sign this, it means if you leave me, or I leave you, you basically get nothing"

Same sh*t!!!

 

As for being it necessary and trust, I have already said my piece on that. Never trust a woman totally. And no matter if your getting bored of these cliches, if you don't cover your ass, you may rue the day you said that.

 

As for respect.. you can still respect a person but not trust them.

 

Cheers

 

 

[Guest]

Wow! Difficult debate...i've oft tended to use the word 'responsibility' rather than trust...will a person be responsible with my feelings? Or with the relationship? Trust is an idealism that is very difficult to quantify. Everyone lies, everyone deviates, everyone is tempted. To deny such is to, well, lie and therefore prove the point....

 

I think P.I. time is death to a relationship....if you go there, then you already know the answer.....and CT...whilst i'm sure you are god in a pair of shorts, i'm sure you wont be surprised if others don't share such an opinion....remember, the BG/Farang relationship is not logical, these ladies aren't looking at you in the same way you are....if you want 'normal' avoid BGs....and then deal with the usual bullshit found in any relationship in any country in the world......ahhh, someone remind me why i have a strong desire to marry please? Anyone do back street neurosurgery?

[Maco88]

Wow!

I think P.I. time is death to a relationship....if you go there, then you already know the answer?

 

Well I think it is possibly the start.

 

Fair enough if you are one of these people who don't care about a partners past, but don't forget there are many others who would prefer to know (ala a situation like Brians) her background isn't too tarnished. In most cases one would hope one's suspicions are wrong and one could then begin to concentrate on building a relationship.

 

I would much prefer the later if i had to make a choice.

 

[the_numbers]

IMHO if you can't trust your not ready for a marriage or this kind of relationship that is quite serious.

 

Sounds like Brian has an issue with trust, and needs to get that sorted first and foremost, whether the forecast has kids, the girl, or anything else in it. You gotta be ok with you first and foremost in life.

 

Oh, and just to be clear getting a prenuptial and protecting your assets is still something I'd do because that has nothing to do with taking the plunge of emotional trust. That is just well... watching your ass.

 

Best,

 

thenumbers

[Maco88]

Can you blame the guy. He has been taken to the cleaners twice already, I'mn sure he doesn't want it to happen a third time.

Remember, we are talking about a woman 25 yrs his juniour, from Thailand.

Perhaps he is just a hunsam man. I would get her thorougly checked out, top to toe before committing and bring her over to his country.

There are those who make up the stats around the globe and those who don't.

[ChristianTroy]

let me give a straight and honest (maybe offending) answer to some posts below mine!

 

It has been said that Thai/Farang relationships are difficult, it has been said that many TGs are scamming their partners, expecially BGs, it has been said that you can't really trust them.

 

Having aknowledged all that, why ONE wants a thai girl in the first place? You have to deal with a bunch of risks, you are giving money for her in order that she quits works (it should be the other way around), you are mostly dealing with an uneducated girl, with the conciousneess of a 16 yo and you are dealing with a girl that comes from a pverty envoirement and you are the one whos gonna have to fix that!

 

I ask again, why ONE want such a person in the first place???

 

I say it is a lack of opportunities, because noone who had a shot on a decent girl would go for one of those I have just described!

 

Sum up: (rough words to make apoint and not meant to be offensive)

The guy is a freaking looser, he can't get a real girl, he has probably a low self esteem, now is this guy really qualified to invade the privacy of a probably good girl?

 

No it is fucking low! Fucking low! Fucking low!

 

You can't handle your chick alone then move on, this country is full of decent girls, you can't get over your trust issues then how a PI is going to fix that! trust issues are mostly based on bad experiences, they are not going to change because Stick or anyone else is filing a positive report!

 

One should know that when you and the girl are on the same agenda, if the monthly support covers her needs and when you treat her with decency you will have nothing to worry about! Most of the times one or more of these 3 things isn't in place. A PI won't find that out in his report, it is about you and her, can't fix it yourself then see a counselor or move on!

 

After all it is about love, if you don't feel the love a PI wont help at all! Would you marry a girl that doesn't love you but wouldn't cheat on you? I wouldn't

 

before I would do something drastic like that I would look into my own closet and try to find some reasons on my own! There is always a reason, you know?

[buddha]

I would rather jump out of a balcony to my death than consider the pro's and con's of hiring a P.I. to investigate a relationship with what sounds to me like a bargirl.

[Maco88]

I would rather jump out of a balcony to my death than consider the pro's and con's of hiring a P.I. to investigate a relationship with what sounds to me like a bargirl.

 

Yeah, I'm sure many would agree with you, but there are many who would be jumping off a balcony to their death, because they made the mistake of not checking her out. They say a fool and his money are parted quickly.

 

To each his own. Live life the way you see fit for yourself, but dont judge others for action they take, that don't agree with you.

 

Everyone's situation is different, lets not forget that. What makes the world keep spinning.

 

Cheers

[Old Hippie]

What is rediculis to me is, some guys have all the evidence, hire an investigator anyway, and either the investigators has nothing on her (because he either sucks as a P.I., or because he just didn't get anything on her) or he gets something, and the guy/punter chooses to ignore the evidence anyway, and continues to go through with it all.

[Maco88]

What is rediculis to me is, some guys have all the evidence, hire an investigator anyway, and either the investigators has nothing on her (because he either sucks as a P.I., or because he just didn't get anything on her) or he gets something, and the guy/punter chooses to ignore the evidence anyway, and continues to go through with it all.

 

Now thats a different matter altogether. Plain stupid & deserves to be rorted.