Living with a Thai Girl - Sin Sot, the real problem

[Nervous_Dog]

I get to travel and live in rural Thailand a lot, and the things people tell me when they first meet me, and what they tell me once they know me are often very different.

 

One of the saddest things I see often is young marriages. In my part of the world, only a few girls from the area have worked in a bar/brothel environment. However child marriage is a huge problem. They are part of a small group of Thais, who I would classify as â??Ultra Orthodoxâ? in Religious terminology. The monks canâ??t eat meat, smoke, listen or see electrical images or sound (TV/Radio/internet). If a girl is found in a room with a boy, maybe not even having sex, just having fun, well. YOU GET MARRIED.

 

It drives my wife insane, and me more so. But it is so common in this area, with only 4 bar girls out of 10â??s of thousands of people, to find children locked up as husband and wife. Often as young as 12.

 

The real reason DarLek tells me, is not religion, but rather, Sin Sot. The parents of the girl can demand up to 80 000 baht for Sin Sot, and will get it! Then the child couple live together, often the girl ending up pregnant, but hey, we got 80 000 baht!

 

So stoopid! We run education programs, but the problem is not the kids, but rather the parents. Any excuse to claim the â??Bountyâ?Â, errrr â??Sin Sotâ?Â

 

So this week I discovered two kids, one a very smart girl, who through a "fun" afternoon of prob no sex, ended up with a husband, age = 14, boy = 14. and another of a girl who I know well as a family friend, aged 12.

 

DUMB DUMB DUMB

 

 

[bobdim]

Interesting subject. Having lived in Bangladesh, I was aware of girls of 12-13 being forced into arranged marriages to much older men. It is also common in the other sub-continent countries, but this is something different. You imply that these villagers are poor, so what happens if the expected 80,000 baht sin sot can not be paid?

[Weird]

i take your cow and chickens.

[Julian2]

I've never seen it in the north, the kids here seem to live a fairly normal life by western standards, one niece got married at 15 but it was her decision and most of the family opposed the marriage. Another niece has a boyfriend at 15, she's at high school and he's at Tech. Most of the young guys in the village chase the girls and the ones that keep their legs together go on to university, the ones that don't marry reasonably young, the 15 year old was definitely an exception. I've never heard of Sin Sot up here either but I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I've certainly never been asked for money by the family.

[Nervous_Dog]

It's a negotiated price, varies depending on the family buy 80 seems common, as is marriage at any age from 13 upwards, and a occassional 12.

 

sometimes it's 40 000, recently the boy across the road got his girlfriend pregnant, but as she was 17 and he was poor the price I think was 20.

 

DOG

[bust]

I have had lengthy conversations about sinsot with Farmer's Daughter. She tells me sometimes sinsot in poorer communities can often cause a severe rift between families often ending in violence. Not sure how accurate it is. But I guess this is the other option of sending your daughter off to Pattaya.

[Flashermac]

No Sin Sot for my Mrs, who was a university grad (BEd) at the time. And yep, she is a northerner. Doesn't seem to be a northern thing. (It is actually a Chinese practice, not Thai.)

 

But I have had several BGs from around Nong Khai tell me that their parents arranged a "marriage" to a wealthy Chinese businessman for them when they were 15 or 16. Going rate was 100,000 baht -- not much to the wealthy "husband". The husband shags the young cutie's brains out for about a year. Then he dumps her and gets a new one. (No marriage registration involved. More or less, mom and pop are selling their daughter as a concubine for enough money to PARTY!)

 

p.s. The girls in Vietnam told me way back when that the wealthy Chinese would pay big money to shag a virgin. Seems to be a perk for rich folks of Chinese origin.

 

 

[exit2dos]

Since my second Thai wife was previously married to a Chinese guy, I figured there was no Sin Sot due since she was already bought and paid for. It seems like a one time only thing. Depreciation and wear and tear notwithstanding.

 

The subject never was brought up until about 8 months after the marriage. It turned out she was very resentful I didn't pay Sin Sot, That was just one of the reasons she wanted to kill me.

 

My first Thai wife's popa, in Ubon, wanted 100,000 Baht (at 25 Baht to 1 Dollar.) I gave them 25,000 Bt. down payment with promise to pay 75,000 upon her arrival in USA. She did a Houdini, disappearing somewhere between the Grace Hotel and points North East. Accordingly, I never had to pay the balance.

 

Interestingly, everybody in the village were convinced I was a pimp or human trafficer and was going to sell her.

[Nervous_Dog]

<<(No marriage registration involved. More or less, mom and pop are selling their daughter as a concubine for enough money to PARTY!) >>

 

This is the main point of my post. Pretty sad.

 

I paid 5000 baht! But then I didn;t actually know I was getting maried

[theshaw66]

please excuse my ignorance...what is Sin Sot?