Pre birth questions - some help please from the parents out there

[torrenova]

We are debating which hospital we should choose to have our baby delivered (we live in Pattaya) and would be grateful from any fathers out there who can shed some light on what questions to ask. We are happy with our doctor but he works from a number of places and we are finding it hard to evaluate them as they seem almost the same ?

 

What should we look for in a hospital ?

 

What about the pressure for caesarian ? We would like the baby to be born naturally if at all possible but we are aware of pressure being applied to accept a caesarian when there is no danger to the mother or baby only pressure on time and on the â??profitâ? which can be made from a birth.

 

What questions should we ask and when ?

 

What should we prepare â??in the bagâ? which we grab when we have to go to the hospital ?

 

What will the mother need in hospital both before birth and afterwards before discharge ?

 

What about epidurals ? Good / bad / indifferent ? Necessary ?

 

Why cannot you get a written price structure from hospitals ? They give vague answers then add on â??potentialâ? extras.

 

Please throw up your questions as well as your answers, comments and opinions. First time parents here need all the help we can get.

[limbo]

We had great help from our doctor, than again, in Samui there's not that much choice (well, 4 hospitals) but only one is a government hospital and thus was the cheapest option, which we went for. It also had/has a good rep since my wife is local and knew about. Furthermore, she was working and insured, so all costs occured were re imbursed. We had a privat room both times she went in although that was never guaranteed.

 

Don't know what to ask to hospitals, since for us it was pretty clear and there were no hidden costs and for the bag to bring, my wife took care of that and than a couple of my mother in law sisters slept over at the hospital so everything was fine and taken care of.

[bust]

 

What about the pressure for caesarian ? We would like the baby to be born naturally if at all possible but we are aware of pressure being applied to accept a caesarian when there is no danger to the mother or baby only pressure on time and on the â??profitâ? which can be made from a birth.

 

What questions should we ask and when ?

 

What should we prepare â??in the bagâ? which we grab when we have to go to the hospital ?

 

What will the mother need in hospital both before birth and afterwards before discharge ?

 

What about epidurals ? Good / bad / indifferent ? Necessary ?

 

Why cannot you get a written price structure from hospitals ? They give vague answers then add on â??potentialâ? extras.

 

Please throw up your questions as well as your answers, comments and opinions. First time parents here need all the help we can get.

The only thing I learnt about childbirth is never make plans for the birth. Use common sense with what to pack but as far as the birth goes.........never plan the birth. Nature has a way of doing it's own thing with childbirth. Be guided by your doctor but don't be afraid to ask questions. Comfort for your partner and support is the most important thing. Time will determin her pain thresh-hold but try and make decisions together based on all the information available. Your number one job is to be her support. Some woman don't like epidurals because they then have no sensation of the birth. Pethadine is a good option (for her not you) and educate yourself about episiotomies. An episiotomy is a surgical cut made just before delivery in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus (the area called the perineum) to enlarge the vaginal opening. This can prevent tearing. As for a ceasarian..best left to your doctor to decide, but remember to ask questions. Sorry can't help you about which hospital. Good luck and be sure to let us know how things go.

 

[Nervous_Dog]

I was told I as going to be sleeping in the room with the wife, up to the time of Caesor.

 

Caesor beause first one was a caesor (Which I missed)

 

We checked in at midnight! Why - then you don't pay the rate for the day before! DUH

 

Had a bag for wife which family packed.

 

Knowing I would be useless, 15 year old neice was told to sleep in room with us.

 

No way I could fit in bed with the wife, so neice and I given a double bed

 

NO WAY was I going to do that! So Neive had a large bed, wife the hospital bed and me a pull out sofa thing.

 

Could hardly move for bed but never mind, 5 am WAKE UP

 

Taken down stairs, wife prepped "They shaved me pussy, I can;t see my ppussy for months so now it not hairy"

 

Thats nice darling, ooff you go and have a baby now!

 

seemed like half hour later, maybe only 15 minutes, I get called in, see the "Cutting open and pulling out" part, was pretty cool, I have photo's if you want!

 

Then back to room.

 

Baby was a bit odd so they kept him under observation, next day he was fine, day after we went home!

 

Caesor - I don't mind, but wife wanted it!

 

Getting the boys dick trimmedd? Wife and I wantedd too, but didn;t in the end, however regret it slightly, as it's a lot more upkeep. Let others debate that one.

 

First kid was born (I missed it by 30 minutes - plane was late) in a tiny country hospital with chikens in the doorway (I kid you not)

 

2nd in a expensive up market hospital, Phayatai 2, Near Victory Monument.

 

One thing I learnt from my mum "We've (women) been having kids for a million years, as long as the hospital is clean, and you don't think there is any problems, it'll work out"

 

Have to agree in hindsite, both places did a great job, the little tiny hospital/clinic, and the wopping big high tech one!

 

The thing that made us feel good was in both cases we had a doctor we consulted every month, in both cases we really liked the doctor, the up country and cty one, both checked for all sorts of issues regularly, made sure everyhing was good, made sure the darLek had lots of vitimins, etc.

 

The fact about thailand is the family, if they are around, do most the work, (Thanks!) However when the kids started getting bigger, and I was trusted not to drop them often, with each kid I made a habit of going out alone with the baby, aged 3 months and up, alone, for a few hours, maybe shopping, coffea, and later when both hit about a year old, buying a book a week.

 

That gave mum a chance to be alone (Thats WELCOME, no matter how much you love them, getting away from them and having time a lone ffor Mum is great!) and also a chance for me to bond.

 

Both kids LOVE books, JJ brings a new one home every day from scchool to be read to her, Jimmie now finds his sisters and his own books and also demands to be read too!

 

Most of what I have said here is about the future, and i think thats important, as mym mum said, having kids is pretty natuaral thing, women doing it before doctors every came along, but the time afterwards is more important, thats what sows the seeds.

 

DOG

 

DOG

[torrenova]

Spot on guys and I hope more fathers will comment.

 

We do like the doctor and I am no shrinking violet as those of you who know me will testify to but I just don't know the questions to ask and in the heat of the moment, stress levels will rise all around and that is the wrong time to be making important decisions which are based on less than sufficient information.

 

Due July 11th but I reckon it'll pop out before then, or she will burst !

[TroyinEwa/Perv]

I'm sorry I can't comment on which hospital as I don't live here but you asked what to look for.

 

I would get a tour beforehand of several hospitals and look for a few things. First, ask if labor will be done in the birthing room or will she be transferred at birth time. Obviously, if she can go through her labor in the room of birth, it would be easier on her.

Second, see what is offered in the room. Does it have a bed that is easy to get in and out of, does it have a shower in the room, tv, restroom. You almost want a hotel-like room as she may not want to being laying down the whole time. Look for a room that has a seat in the shower too as a pain may hit and she may have to sit down.

 

There was no pressure given to my wife for our children to born cesarian. If there is no danger to the mother or child, do not opt for this.

 

Ask any questions you feel are necessary at any time. There is really no silly question for a new parent. You have never done this before and it's better to ask and know something than to not ask and pay later.

 

As far as the "bag to grab", pretty much whatever you would put in a carryon for an airplane. In addition to mom's stuff, pack a couple of the newborns change of clothes as well.

 

I would highly recommend an epidural. First baby, we waited too long and she gave birth without it. Second baby, she got it right away and it made all the difference in the world. Get it early though.

 

Be supportive, take classes if offered before the birth, especially for infant CPR and birthing classes. Tour the hospital and find out where things are. Nursery, cafeteria, bathrooms, etc.

 

Hope things go well and enjoy it. No other experience like it ever in your lifetime.

[tomc12]

1)If, after visiting the various hospitals and their labor rooms, you feel they are all about the same, go by which one is closest and preference of your OB doctor. Check availability of food at 4 AM in hospital

 

2)There should be no pressure for a Cesarean because of time or money. Labor is a progressive dilation of the cervix and descent of the fetal head. As long as that is happening, there is no reason for a Cesarean unless complications occur-fetal distress, breech presentation, etc. Occiput posterior (head facing up instead of down) is notorious for prolonging labor-both descent and dilation. If no fetal distress, okay to wait for spontaneous rotation. Ask you doctor how he/she handles an OP

 

3)Labor pain is generally not that intense. Think of a bad gas pain that lasts for 90 seconds. Then think how long you can tolerate it if it keeps returning every 6 minutes for 8 hours. That's a rough idea of what labor is like. How a woman deals with it depends on her pain threshold, anxiety level, amount of sleep beforehand (labor frequently starts in the middle of the night due to biorhythms), etc. Epidurals are great-the catheter is placed outside the spinal canal so only pain fibers are affected (well, actually some of the sympathetic/parasympathetic nerves are too so very important that a woman is loaded up with IV fluids to prevent a fall in blood pressure before it is given). She is not numbed from the waist down like a spinal does. She can still feel touch, can move her legs, etc. With an epidural in, the woman can watch TV, read a book, play cards, sleep, etc while her labor progresses. Demerol (pethidine) is used infrequently in the US for labor pain; Nubain used more often. Helps take the edge off the contractions and allows the woman to sleep inbetween, but she generally wakes during the contraction. Shorter acting then pethidine so less likely to have a baby born gorked out from the drug. An epidural takes approximately 45 minutes for pain relief, assuming the anesthesiologist is available-starting the IV, giving the fluid load, inserting the catheter, giving test dose, loading dose, to medicine working.

 

4)Bring bathrobe, pajamas, underwear, slippers, snacks for later, baby outfit for pictures, etc.

[Damen]

What should we look for in a hospital ? Cant really help with this one as I've never visited a hospital in LOS and hope I never have reason to.

 

What about the pressure for caesarian ? We would like the baby to be born naturally if at all possible but we are aware of pressure being applied to accept a caesarian when there is no danger to the mother or baby only pressure on time and on the â??profitâ? which can be made from a birth.

 

My kids were born naturally but 2 out of 3 of my sister in law's kids were delivered caesarian. She swears by caesarian. There is a certain convenience factor with caesarian deliveries. You schedule the time& date and are prepared for the event. It sucks when your wife says "my water just broke" at 3:00am a couple weeks before the anticipated delivery date, you've got no one to watch your other kids and you probably had a few to many drinks that evening.

 

What questions should we ask and when ?

 

I try and find a doctor who seems like he/she cares, doesn't seemed bothered by the questions you pose and realizes while this is just another day at the office for him, it's the biggest day of your life.

 

What should we prepare â??in the bagâ? which we grab when we have to go to the hospital ?

 

Bring her some comfortable clothes to wear home. Bring a book for yourself. You will most likely be there for a long time and it gets boring. Really there is not much you can do other than offer support and try and relieve the pain she will undoubtedly feel in her back throughout the day. Bring a camera and video tape recorder. Record the events of the day. She might not appreciate it since she wont look her best but I'm sure your kid will 20 years from now.

 

Grab a few newspapers from that day, so you can look back at what was happening in the world on the day your first child was born.

 

 

What about epidurals ? Good / bad / indifferent ? Necessary ?

 

This should be her call entirely. I cant imagine trying to piss out a golf ball and then having some woman tell me "deal with the pain"

Why cannot you get a written price structure from hospitals ? They give vague answers then add on â??potentialâ? extras.

 

Fortunately I have health care that limits the amount of charges to a fixed co-payment for all services rendered.

Please throw up your questions as well as your answers, comments and opinions. First time parents here need all the help we can get.

 

As a first time parent, you go experience so many different emotions leading up to the big day. If all of the tests so far show the baby to be in good health, count your blessings, take a breath, relax and enjoy this time. It will never be the first time again.

 

The fact that you are educating yourself on the process, seeking out a good doctor and hospital puts you way ahead in the game.

 

Good luck and congrats :thumbup:

[shygye]

What is the hospital infection rate?

Does it have the facilities for emergency surgery for mother or infant?

 

An episiotomy is a surgical cut made just before delivery in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus (the area called the perineum) to enlarge the vaginal opening. This can prevent tearing.

 

Recent studies show episiotomy is unnecessary and results in slower healing.