loner w/a boner Posted July 8, 2008 Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 Here's an interesting link for those of you looking for someone to worship a bit more "contemporary". http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/popup?id=5221708&contentIndex=1&start=false&page=1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unit731 Posted July 8, 2008 Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 "There are no fat people" in the realm of the Siberian Christ, Tanner finds out. This is a consequence of Vissarion's "nutrition recommendations." But the hard life in the Taiga doesn't toughen everybody by far. Relatives of a sect member reported in the "Berliner Dialog" of emaciated, undernourished people who he met on Tiberkul Lake, of meningitis and of people sick with tuberculosis. Many children were said to be suffering from rickets. http://www.lermanet.com/cisar/russia/030414.htm Well . . . for all of our board members who are overweight challenged . . . here is the answer !! Might be best to take along some anti-biotics, vitamins and such! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian2 Posted July 8, 2008 Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 I often thought I should start my own religion. Grow the hair and beard out and buy half a dozen oversize nighties. Recruit a few nubile maidens to pass the collection plate after the sermon. Yeah... a man could do a lot worse than that. Beats working anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanddawg1 Posted July 8, 2008 Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 I often thought I should start my own religion. Grow the hair and beard out and buy half a dozen oversize nighties. Recruit a few nubile maidens to pass the collection plate after the sermon. Yeah... a man could do a lot worse than that. Beats working anyway. Hey if it gets me drunk and laid I'll join!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian2 Posted July 8, 2008 Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 A substantial donation would be required from any wannabe pastors prior to ordination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted July 8, 2008 Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 L. Ron Hubbard got rich from Scientology. Go for it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loner w/a boner Posted July 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 I know there are a lot of lonely people out there with empty lives. I know there are sincere people who are searching for something more, some spiritual meaning, but, to give your brain (and body) over to someone else for the using...I guess you'd have to not be using it to begin with. Hmmm, a harem of worshiping ladies...some male worker drones...I'd need some people to work regular jobs to bring in income. Would need some sort of "compound"--nothing too conspicuous--not that there'd be any neighbors nearby. No need for fortifications since this wouldn't be a doomsday anti-govt. cult...no worry from the anti-polygamy police since I wouldn't be "married" to any of them, just "consenting adults". You know, seriously, when you consider all the infamous cults, Charles Manson, David Koresh, Jim Jones, the pedo-polygamy cults...seems to me there's A LOT of potential for a non-violent, law-abiding cult. There may be many. There's a lot of weird "families" out there. With an overbearing dominant leader they are probably no different. Considering how mindless many are, this could be very doable...hmmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian2 Posted July 9, 2008 Report Share Posted July 9, 2008 You're thinking too small, don't worry about recruiting the little people... pinch John Travolta and Tom Cruise off their loony sect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 9, 2008 Report Share Posted July 9, 2008 I already have the first step down, I am an ordained minister. My next step is to come up with a believable/buyable scripture/doctrine, and gather the masses, a few miracles and bam, I'm richer than Jesus himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loner w/a boner Posted July 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2008 I already have the first step down, I am an ordained minister. My next step is to come up with a believable/buyable scripture/doctrine, and gather the masses, a few miracles and bam, I'm richer than Jesus himself. "ordained" So, does that take care of your tax status, or performing marriages, or what? I thought you needed a 503C corp for a church to take advantage of non-tax status. Not that you haven't already thought of these, but perhaps I can offer a few items for your consideration: believable/buyable scripture/doctrine: just paraphrasing: 1. "I come not to bring peace but a sword...set family member against family member..." ..."He who is not willing to give up family and follow me is not worthy..." This could be used to get them away from their families and support groups. 2. ..."A slave is not treated better than his master, is he?" Get them used to you treating them like shit. 3. "...Thomas, you have seen and believed. Blessed are those who believe but do not see..." "...He who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not worthy..." "...Do not lay up for yourself treasures on Earth where moth and rust destroy..." Shame any rogue thinkers for questioning your absolute authority and giving up everything they own for you. Who says scripture has no practical contemporary applications??? 5. Anything from Song of Solomon. This is to keep your group in a sensual mood. On second thought, have one of your harem women read it aloud while some of your other gals multi-suck your cock. Then some book of Numbers (so and so begot so and so), get them in the settling-down mood--de-sensitize them to any verses regarding condemnation of fornication. Of course, perhaps they shouldn't have "unauthorized" access to the scriptures??? Why give the devil a chance to sneak in--no other serpents in your little "garden of eden". gather the masses: The above scripture quotes about leaving behind and not looking back ought to take care of gathering the flock together. Just say it with authority and confidence. Don't look to them for confirmation, be aloof. Trying the "...come and follow me..." may prove to be more effective than one might think. Rural and small town bus stops, outside homeless shelters for women, welfare / food stamp offices. Those ought to get you more followers than you know what to do with. a few miracles and bam That one's a toughie. Have to give it some thought. Charles Manson used hallucinogenics. You could try a "healing". Have some of them complain about ailments, get them to come up to the front, put your hand on their foreheads, (remember--confidence and delivery), cast out the demon. Surely, they want to belong, so they will be healed. And how can they go back and deny it? Deny God??? NO WAY! The other followers can't question it: "...in the presence of 2 or more witnesses..." Hmmm, this is beginning to take shape. Tougher yet would be finding an isolated "religious compound". To find a female who has inherited isolated property from her now-dead parents could take some doing. Obituaries, government offices where death certificates are issued, maybe just have to meet a number of young people...someone impressionable, who doesn't know what to do with what she's got...Let me know if you have a better idea about this. richer than Jesus himself So, uh, did he "...have no place to lay his head..." or did he "...own the cattle on a thousand hills..."? Why not sale a few hills worth of cows and buy a place to sleep? Naaa, He liked to get out and meet people, not tied down, that kinda stuff I guess. I'd appreciate any more insights / tips on forming a messiah cult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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