12 Most Annoying Types of Facebookers

[Steve]

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/TECH/08/20/annoying.facebook.updaters/index.html

 

Those of you who are on FB will get a laugh out of it and see yourselves as at least one of the types. I'll cop to it.

 

Here are 12 of the most annoying types of Facebook users:

 

The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore. "I'm waking up." "I had Wheaties for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." You're kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too mundane for some people to broadcast unsolicited to the world. Just because you have 432 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.

 

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The Self-Promoter. OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.

 

The Friend-Padder. The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make lifelong pals on the subway -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're George Clooney or just won the lottery, no one has that many. That's just showing off.

 

The Town Crier. "Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first! Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff.

 

The TMIer. "Brad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for these pesky hemorrhoids." Boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information updaters, who unabashedly offer up details about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing.

 

The Bad Grammarian. "So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe". Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.

 

The Sympathy-Baiter. "Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now." Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.

 

The Lurker. The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.

 

The Crank. These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about. "Carl isn't really that impressed with idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are." [Actual status update.] Keep spreading the love.

 

The Paparazzo. Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you didn't authorize and haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.

 

The Maddening Obscurist. "If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Grist for the mill." "John is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not." [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical.

 

The Chronic Inviter. "Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm Millard Fillmore! What president are you?"

 

You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends? Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.

 

[unit731]

I guess I am over the cusp.

 

Can someone explain to me what Facebook is and why people use it.

 

Yes, I can go to wwfacebook.com and read.

 

But what is the point?

 

I can somewhat understand teenagers and utilizing new technology. But there is text messaging, emailing.

[HeartThais]

Remember that day when you got your high school yearbook? Maybe you got two copies so that you could go around getting it signed. The really popular kids had people lining up to sign their yearbook. The dorky kids were silently terrified that no one would sign theirs. Some people worked their asses off to join every club so they could be all over yearbook. Some people just liked to look through it and make snarky comments about everyone else.

 

Well facebook is basically yearbook day for the rest of your life.

[ThaiHome]

....Well facebook is basically yearbook day for the rest of your life.

 

TH

[Faustian]

Interesting angle.

 

I use it to keep in touch with people from my childhood or people I've met along the way. I'm an occasional user, check it weekly.

 

Thankfully I don't resemble any of the above "types". I know plenty of people who do though.

[Steve]

I'm similar as well. I rarely post things on my 'Wall' (a space to tell the world (FB friends)what's on your mind). I did post this though because many of my FB friends do this.

 

Facebook is for adults what Myspace was for teenagers. More teenagers are on FB now but Myspace turned a lot of adults off as it was seen as someplace where their kids 'hang out' in cyber space.

 

For me its also a little bit of voyeurism. I must admit. You peep a little into other peoples lives (okay, it sounds creepy admittedly).

 

Also, I have friends and family all over the place who I don't email as much and its a way of catching up on thier lives without having to pick up a phone or send an email.

[HeartThais]

Overall, we're becoming a bunch of social pussies. Back in the days of rotary phones, before voicemail recorders, you'd actually have to connect with people on the spot. Nowadays, we enjoy the pleasures of asynchronous communication where we can craft exquisite portraits of ourselves without having the balls to actually request time from someone.

 

And yes, I realize how ironic it is to post that on a forum.

[Redbaron]

The best thing I've found with facebook, is I've caught up with people I haven't seen in years. ie lads from school days, my neighbours from when I was a little tacker, people I used to work with, and of course old friends I met through this very forum, and in my travelling days, but lost contact during my couple of years "off".

 

Granted, there is a LOT of crap on there, and a LOT of people as described (by OP). Not hard to turn off the "applications", and ignore idiots though.

[Flashermac]

I learn a lot of things about people that I didn't really need to know. It's sort of a reality show for people who are too lazy to go and actually do something.

 

Reminds me of the kids who used to scream "Look at me!" and demand everyone's attention.