Hamokhamok Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Or this muslim one. Enjoy. Amanpreet died and was sent on up to heaven. As he approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter approached him to welcome him in. Amanpreet politely told him "Thank you very much, Saint Peter. As you may be aware, I am a Muslim, and would really appreciate being greeted by Mohammed." Saint Peter replied, "Certainly, if that's your wish. Take the staircase on your left and go up". Approaching the top of the staircase, Amanpreet was met by Buddha, waiting to welcome him into Heaven. Once again Amanpreet explained to him that he was a Muslim and wanted to be greeted by Mohammed. Buddha directed him up another staircase, where this time he was met by Moses. Amanpreet, slightly exasperated, offered his thanks to Moses and a little more vehemently, asked that he be greeted by Mohammed. Moses pointed to a golden escalator, and told him to take it up to the top floor where he would find Mohammed. Arriving at the top floor, Amanpreet found himself being led to a table, where this time, Jesus himself was waiting to greet him. Amanpreet was angry by now, and had had enough. "Thank you very much, Jesus. I mean no offense to you or anyone else, but I AM A MUSLIM, AND I DEMAND TO SEE THE GREAT PROPHET MUHAMMED!!!" "You want to see Mohammed?" asked Jesus with a puzzled expression. "YES! Very much so!" replied Amanpreet. "OK. Fine. No problem." replied Jesus. "By the way, how do you take your coffee?" This time it was Amanpreet who was puzzled. "Uh, black, no sugar. Why?" Jesus stands up from the table and snaps his fingers. "YO! MOHAMMED! Over here. Two coffees. Black. No Sugar." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robaus Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Your ignorance is excusable. You're obviously just a thick Paddy. Crawl back into the bog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Can't do that I'm afraid. Our bogs are now being used to house you know who. And we have a lot of you know whos which I as a tax payer, are keeping them in the height of luxury while our own people are on the beg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unit731 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 There are some undertones in a few of these witticisms ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelseafan Posted April 3, 2010 Report Share Posted April 3, 2010 A reporter visits his friend in Iraq and was amazed to see that the men of the country walked two yards in fron of their wives. When he questioned his friend he was told that men are superior and woman are the inferior race so naturarlly they walk behind the men. The reporter, a little upset didnt want to say any more for upsetting his friend and continued with his story. Two years later the reporter visited his friend in Iraq and was amazed to see that women now walked two paces in front of the men. Amazed, he questioned his friend as to why the about change to which his friend replied "Land Mines" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted April 3, 2010 Report Share Posted April 3, 2010 Terrible! I'm shocked...got any more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted April 3, 2010 Report Share Posted April 3, 2010 A greyhound bus carrying only black people crashes into something very tough, and everyone inside dies. They get to meet their maker, and because of those 400 years of grief, He decides to grant them one wish each, before entering paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. “I want to be white,†the answer is. God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says, “Then I want to be white, too.†Another snap of His fingers. This goes on for a while, snapping fingers and all, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and says, “Make 'em all black again.†-------------------------------------------------- What do you call a nigger on the moon? Problem. What do you call two niggers on the moon? Problem. What do you call ALL the niggers on the moon? Problem solved. -------------------------------------------------- (An Irish one for my friend) Q: What's the difference between Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and St. Patrick's Day? A: On St. Patty's Day EVERYONE wants to be Irish. ------------------------------------------------- A divorcee in her early forties was sitting at a bar one night, when she noticed a young, attractive black man just a few stools away. She'd never seen for herself if the stories about black men were true, so she took the opportunity to buy the young stud a drink. One drink led to another, and those led to the couple going back to the divorcee's apartment. Once there, the woman stripped naked, climbed up in her bed, struck a sexy, come-hither look, and whispered, “OK, you gorgeous piece of chocolate man. Show me what young black boys do best.†So he beat her up and stole her stereo. ------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do niggers have yard sales? A: So white people can get their stuff back. --------------------------------------------------- Ok I think thats enough for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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