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Family pressure


tartempion

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Less than 48h after we came back from a trip to Europe my GF told me during our evening meal at the restaurant that her parents "wanted" her to buy a piece of rice land next to theirs at a cost of 80K baht, unknown size (as usual, I mean they never know the size of anything, but only the value) but no problem to register the land in her name :shakehead

 

The parents simply want to increase the rice producing family surface at MY expense. GF has no children, thus the land will stay in the family for free.

 

She told me she would finance the purchase by selling 5 bath of gold (thus my money anyway) but she clearly stated she did not want to buy any rice land.

 

When I asked her "why don't you simply say no thanks?" reply was "family pressure, how possibly could I say no to my parents?"

 

And she reminded me that she re-payed a loan debt for rice land for her father when she was 20 by working in Bangkok. She also reminded me some 7-8 years ago WE gave 30K y1 and 20K y2 to pay for more rice land for her parents, her sister did the same, thus 100k together.

 

Thus I calculated how much we gave to the parents since we are together (100+ months)

Add 30K for our part in a Kubota tractor, 1k/month I give them over the last 2y, repairs we pay to the water pump, leaking roof etc and the total bill does not exceed 150K or 1.5K/month. Not too bad isn't?

 

Still, this expectation of children needing to feed the parents is a brick on both our stomachs.

 

So yesterday she sold 5 baht of gold bracelets and stopped at the bank to put the 90K into MY bank account as a down payment for some diamond I should buy her some day. Then we stopped at her parents house where she informed them NO for the land.

 

Since last year she also stopped working on her parent's fields planting and harvesting.

Seems she had enough of it.

 

OK, today second day of the month, maybe I should stop in the village to give both a 500B note, my monthly contribution to her parents survival :stirthepo

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Hmmm - ok - I am in the opposite camp, family wants to earn better income, for the small by relative western terms, the sums are very small.

 

This coming from me who is broke.

 

I've borrowed from my Thai family, I happily support them as well. I'm happily married to the family, and enjoy that lifestyle.

 

I'm putting 3 nieces and 1 nephew (who wants to be a niece) through school and will help them get through uni, as long as they understand they also need to put money into the "Whole family" purse.

 

I've dipped money out of it, but as the biggest income earner, maybe I've put more into it.

 

So what, the sums are not large by any means.

 

Seriously, 1500 baht a month, that's not even an expensive single long time.

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I have a firm policy if I ever get into a serious relationship with a TG. We will live in LOS not the US and RENT a home not buy. I will support her and her minor children under 18 "if they are not little criminals" and no one else. If she chooses to work outside the home that money is all her's and she can give it all to her family if she wants.

 

S1

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Good job. You seem to have broken your wife of that awful Asian cultural trait of helping the family and taking care of your parents. Hope you and her enjoy your final years in the rest home because any children you have certainly won't be around to take care of you.

TH

 

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A bit over the top saying that, isn't it?? The OP has given throughout the relationship and it appears, will still be giving a small stipend each month. Just because the daughter decided not to spend 80k in one swoop doesn't mean that she's turned her back on them.

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