Coss Posted December 11, 2020 Report Share Posted December 11, 2020 SATIRE: The Supreme Court of the United States has declared that the best solution to the issues plaguing the American political-legal system is probably just to turn the entire thing off and on again. “Here’s your problem,” said an exasperated-looking Chief Justice John Roberts as he finished running a diagnostic over the ageing system. “The whole thing’s become infected. There're all kinds of viruses in there. Partisanship, greed, self-interest sure, but it’s designed to deal with those. American exceptionalism and hubris, well that never helps.” “But now there’s something else bogging it down. In a word, I’d call it dumbassery.” “You’d think that big update we did on November 3rd would have sorted most of this out, but obviously not,” Justice Roberts went on to explain. “There’s still a lot of corrupted stuff in here, though ironically none of it is the stuff marked ‘CORRUPT!’” “That’s why you’re still getting nonsensical things popping up like this lawsuit wanting to disqualify millions of voters in Pennsylvania. And the Attorney-General of Texas suing not one, not two, not three, but four other states. And those people saying make you sure you vote in the Georgia run-offs but by the way the whole electoral system is rigged. ” “And wait, what’s this new one? Rudy Giuliani applying for a stay against his doctor certifying him as being Covid-19 positive. He’s alleging there were anti-body counting irregularities at the lab. OK then people, this is where we’ve got to in December 2020” The United States has been running the same operating system (named “Constitution”) since 1788 when it was launched with much fanfare at the Philadelphia headquarters of Founding Fathers Inc. Since then, it has undergone 27 major upgrades with the latest version being known as Constitution 1.27. Some upgrades have been met with wide acclaim from Founding Fathers fans, including Constitution 1.05, allowing defendants in TV court dramas to refuse to answer questions that may incriminate them. Other upgrades have met with mixed reactions, including the controversial “Here, have a gun” provision of Constitution 1.02. Still others have been long-delayed including Constitution 1.14 which took 80 years to address the “five slaves count as three people” counting error in the original operating system. Today the archaic electoral-college architecture designed to limit demands on the system’s power supply by – well, citizens wanting power – has led some to question whether it is still fit for purpose. At any rate Justice Roberts’ final comments suggest it could at least do with a reboot. “Honestly if someone over the break could just ‘accidentally’ trip over the power cord for the American political-legal system and plug it back in after carefully waiting 10 seconds, I can guarantee no-one here on the bench will be taking names.” Justice Roberts concluded by announcing that he intended to spend the New Year period relaxing as a fisherman by a river in the background of a Norman Rockwell painting and reminded America that it really needs to change its password. “I don’t know who got in there and changed it to StormysBoobs@MAGA. But as the President-Elect says, c’mon man.” https://www.stuff.co.nz/opinion/300180048/us-constitution-password-changed-to-stormysboobsmaga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted December 11, 2020 Report Share Posted December 11, 2020 7 hours ago, My Penis is hungry said: Why d we think what Trump says is dumb and he's stupid? He knows exactly what to say. I may hate him, but I'm not going to say someone who managed to get elected is not a dumb person let me posit this :: Some who are intelligent, do yes indeed see, that Trump is capable of saying dumb things, whilst having different thoughts in his head, at the same time. To ascribe the different thoughts, in his head, as somehow, not also being dumb, is a stretch. Since Reagan, we can charitably describe persons who gain the Presidency, as being put there by a large team of backers, rather than as the result of individual effort. The GOP needed a showman, not necessarily a clever one, and they forgot to give him an intelligence test. At least with Reagan, Nancy did service, as back-up brain. "... but I'm not going to say someone who managed to get elected is not a dumb person" so you won't say 'he is not dumb' ... or do you mean, you think he is clever? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted December 12, 2020 Report Share Posted December 12, 2020 Prepare for next outrage, I wonder what Trump will do next... Supreme Court rejects Texas' and Trump's bid to overturn election "Texas has not demonstrated a judicially cognisable interest in the manner in which another state conducts its elections," the court said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzzz Posted December 12, 2020 Report Share Posted December 12, 2020 41 minutes ago, Coss said: Prepare for next outrage, I wonder what Trump will do next... What could happen if he takes the recommendation of Flynn to suspend the constitution and declare martial law to re-run election? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted December 12, 2020 Report Share Posted December 12, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted December 12, 2020 Report Share Posted December 12, 2020 2 hours ago, zzzz said: What could happen if he takes the recommendation of Flynn to suspend the constitution and declare martial law to re-run election? I don't think any one would listen, he'd be talking to a room of 12 or so folks holding their phones up to capture the last rantings of a fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffalo_bill Posted December 12, 2020 Report Share Posted December 12, 2020 Can´t imagine he gives up now. Probably asks Russian troops to invade the US. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted December 12, 2020 Report Share Posted December 12, 2020 One for Cav... https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-aware-aliens-verge-disclosing-public-israeli-ex-space-chief-says-1553354 Did Donald Trump Nearly Confirm Existence of Aliens? Israeli Ex-Space Chief Makes Bizarre Claim Donald Trump has information about alien life and almost revealed it, only demurring after an intervention by the Galactic Federation, a former Israeli official said in a bizarre newspaper interview. Professor Haim Eshed, who served as the head of Israel's space program from 1981 to 2010 spoke to the Hebrew newspaper Yediot Aharonot on Sunday. On Tuesday, the Jerusalem Post published some of Eshed's quotes in English and they contained the most incredible claims made about Trump, who has long being the center of conspiracy theories—some of which he has actively encouraged. According to Eshed, aliens from an organization called the Galactic Federation have been in touch with the governments of the U.S. and Israel. Understandably, the aliens wanted to keep a low profile. "The UFOs have asked not to publish that they are here," Eshed said, "humanity is not ready yet." "Trump was on the verge of revealing," Eshed said, "but the aliens in the Galactic Federation are saying: 'Wait, let people calm down first.' They don't want to start mass hysteria. They want to first make us sane and understanding." According to Eshed, aliens struck a deal with the U.S. government to do experiments on Earth. Eshed also claimed that aliens and American astronauts were working together at a secret underground base on Mars. Eshed claimed that the aliens "are researching and trying to understand the whole fabric of the universe, and they want us as helpers." The Jerusalem Post said it had found no evidence to substantiate Eshed's claims and neither has Newsweek. Still, the interview is the latest in a string of events that has whipped speculation on the internet into a frenzy. In December 2019, Trump announced the formation of the U.S. Space Force as the country's sixth branch of the Armed Forces. Describing space as the "world's newest warfighting domain," Trump said the Space Force was necessary because of "grave threats to national security." While Trump has not explicitly expressed a belief in UFOs or alien life, he told Fox News in October that he would take a "good, strong look" into the existence of unidentified flying objects. "I heard that two days ago," Trump said, "so I'll check on that." During a June interview conducted by his son, Donald Trump, Jr., Trump hinted that he was in possession of classified knowledge about the alleged alien crash site in Roswell, New Mexico. "I won't talk to you about what I know about it but it's very interesting," Donald Trump said. "But Roswell is a very interesting place with a lot of people that would like to know what's going on." Sightings of UFOs have drawn the attention of the U.S. Department of Defense. In August, the Pentagon confirmed the existence of a Navy task force that would examine unidentified aerial phenomena as potential threats. "The Department of Defense and the military departments take any incursions by unauthorized aircraft into our training ranges or designated airspace very seriously and examine each report," read an August statement from the Pentagon. Newsweek reached out to the U.S. Space Force for comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted December 12, 2020 Report Share Posted December 12, 2020 16 hours ago, Coss said: I don't think any one would listen, he'd be talking to a room of 12 or so folks holding their phones up to capture the last rantings of a fool. I'm curious how both parties would react. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzzz Posted December 12, 2020 Report Share Posted December 12, 2020 Pelosi may try to impeach him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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