panadolsandwich

https://www.reddit.com/r/bigdickproblems/

It's always got me into trouble - I always think, she's beautiful and her friend is okay, and I'm playing with monopoly money here.... why not have both?

Well based on that analysis we are getting nowhere! As a young boy, I stole an egg from a crows nest and incubated it. The creature that emerged, I nurtured and cosseted. The baby crow was mine and I was her. We went everywhere together.I trained her to do a few tricks, but mostly we were companions. For a bird she was highly intelligent, She used to steal any thing that glittered and put it high up in a tree. But she could be coaxed to bring them back. Eventually the crow became more mature and her eyes changed from brown to pale blue. It was then she flew away - far away - until just a speck on the horizon. I knew she wasn't coming back, that is in my stone cold heart. I thought long and hard about it - obviously I was missing her - I didn't want her back. I didn't want her back because I wanted her to fly. Hooters simply doesn't fulfill these criteria.

Ok here's what I paid - but it's hard to put in terms of a neophyte. Dempsey (as usual) tipped me off about the place and it's invite only. The draw is the girls are those HiSo babes that like a bit of farang rough - if you understand me. I didn't have a champagne budget (more's the pity)), more Chang style, so I initially I chose a stewardess, but funnily enough after many visits I've later found the HiSo chicks can be manipulated to pay you. You become the whore! Well I don't want to lay all of that ideology on you just yet - it's far too premature and would require a post the size of a book. They have strict requirements though, you must pass an STD test while a lackey accompanies you to a clinic. Of course I'm a surgeon so I wrote my own medical pass if you will - no need for that. The beauty is the doorman is quite reasonable once you present credentials and if you cajole him enough (speaking Isaan has saved me thousands of dollars by now!), he'll allow you in for a measly 1000 bar. Once in you are free to experience the wonder of free enterprise; hence the warning regarding high prices. A coca-cola for the lady will cost 5000 bar - however most often if you are presentable, the real hiso chicks will offer to buy *you* a drink with some kind of osmium credit card. If you 'pull' her you will be whisked away in a late model BMW to her apartment. At that point there is no requirement for a sheath, and the girls will mostly do anything. It's up to you if you wish to get their phone no. - but good luck with that! They'll probably give you a number for a level 4 mobile. Because I can speak Thai as I said before, I play hard to get, and make them pay (they can easily afford it). Going this way is both heaven and hell, you get a hot chick to pay to fuck you, but like a Tamagochi they need continual maintenance. I was joking about this with Dempsey, whilst in marathon surgery, I had to answer the call - it was my extra urgent mobile - held to my ear by the anesthetist , and all the staff were agog whilst I told this girl in wicked slang she was just a slut I fuck from time to time and stop calling me when I'm at work (all in incomprehensible Thai to them of course). It was foolish of course to have given her that number anyhow, but for expediency (another story) I'd done it. Later she later apologized profusely. Then sent me a large amount of money. Anyhow the Nok Air chick was happy with a measly 5000 bar and a lift to Don Mueng after we'd quite literally gone through the Kama Sutra all night.

The news donkey is peering into the NEWS pipeline and his face - well it's making a face somewhere between sombre, downright depression and the glint (but nary a flash, perhaps a glimmer) of optimism. We must steadfastly watch this donkey's face as if he's our portent of life itself, if only because he's managed virus-like to entwine himself into our very own DNA. Ok, I'm completely aware that a volte face is completely unacceptable on this board - a 180 is out a fashion, but if I'm going to give the 360 a spin, might not I spin 360 more times then one? Indeed if I could actually spin Thailand on it's axis (presumably Hua Hin or my preference Udon Thani?), which would be the most favourable orientation? Well fear not, my precognition is just a ramp up to my promotion of this new club that will blow the hot balls off of a backwards sheep. At the far end of Soi 4, the far far end, there is a inconspicuous shop that specialises in fellatio. The girls wear air hostess uniforms - I did a Nok Air girl not long ago. Well it's a premium service, this girl actually was a Nok Air stewardess, I accompanied her to the airport. Expect to pay high prices, they *will* not bargain - and will (quite) rightly kick you out on your arse. I rarely if ever give 10/10, but sweet Jesus what a sweet fuck. 10/10.

Wwwhhhhhooooooooofffffffffffffff thump squids - this is a deep dish of jive you need to get hip to and I'm gonna pull those coat tails for ya. Well there's been a deplorable dearth in reviews of the Thai P4P scene - it all appears to be travelogue and advertainment. A soulless advert for a world that bears no relation to reality. No gritty nitty - so in order to set things right this roundup is exclusively for Thai360 members. First of all the Salty Gobb, located on soi 7/2, only a jism's arc from - the did God just fart on my dick? with the random sodomy organisation known as Eden. Here for a measly 300 baht you'll get all the juice sucked from your balls by two girls tag teaming. Little known - so a great tip for those punters that need to be told where to go. Whilst on the subject of the big ๗, there is a charming restaurant called Fabattoir, where you dispatch your meal yourself before the option of bbq or hotpot. Great atmosphere and I always call in there after a night of clubbing with some young impressionable Thai uni chick. Nothing charms it seems as much as smashing a chickens face off - with a velvet hammer. Talking of clubbing, you really can't go past the สถานีห้วยขวาง Huai Khwang district where if you walk into the LampLit bar you'll be one of very few Farangs who can only be allowed in if you allow the Thai doorman to give you a a fat lip - well worth it, when you see the uni girls on offer. Where it really shines is in the knob out room - you sip your cocktail and the uni girls inspect the goods. I have to say it's become a real haunt of mine. Closer to home of course is soi cowboy and you can't go past Jettisons where there is no floor in the club (jet air propulsion is used to hover the girls above the bar) - mainly popular with Japanese business men, I enjoy the spectacle of watching them while they themselves are watching those twats with a laser focus - well one has to have a hobby these days. Ooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo, still getting those flashbacks but, Nana seems to have entered dementia phase with the opening of the Dreamy Twat where the principle entertainment appears to be a show featuring a fat weeping bitch playing with toys. C'mon! In brighter news further down soi 4 the new bar The Steven Seagal Baby Collective have a bomb made of jazz, feathers and G-strings, with the ingenious idea of having boozy girls singing naked strip hop. Also there's a new type of freelancer, as mad as a crab on telly - will do anything, *anything*, and my advise would be find 'em, fuck 'em and flee. Mind that, simple to remember FFF. If you check out the streets of Bangkok at 3am you may spot johnny depp and his monkey bitch firing their cannon dogs around with a compressed air mortar, they're vegetarian, and will obediently come back once fired. Well that's just the entree, I've barely got into the meat and spunk of the matter, but it's nighty night 360 heads. Recently I've been doing everything in slow motion, to a very plush standard. It's a slow tax dodge, or holiday - more news from the simpering idiot soon. Cheers.

In today's simpering idiot, we all wonder what became of panadolsandwiche

When I find myself in an expensive toyland place like Nana, I enact my 'Iceberg Slim' strategy. I was reading his autobiography and he inspired me. For those of you who possibly don't know who he is - he was the most successful pimp in US history - instigating almost as a by thought, that rap mega-star pimping culture. Well I'll pull your coat tails man, and give you the real dope. Whatcha need to do is find a girl with that managerial presence and spark and then that's the clever thing - you don't pimp her, you get her to pimp for you! Thanks Iceberg Slim!!!

Well if you're going to make a wave in Nong Khai - you can find a worn out bargirl - if you're lazy that is. You want better then that - I might be talking out of school here, but the bars aren't where it's at. You need to speak the lingo - brush off that old Laos language book - and bury yourself in it for about 10,000 hours - enlisting the help of said bargirls - then when you can swear and kant with the best of them you'll be swatting them hot beautiful Nong Khai women off like fly's. There really is no middle ground in my honest opinion.

Flashy - hang your head in shame for that pun.

I'd be more inclined to blame the tour agency. Likely there was more than enough food for everybody. I mean it's understandable they keep the bulk of comestibles in refrigeration, when they are highly poised to deliver with a massive staff. I went to the same buffet with my beautiful girlfriend and we really enjoyed the buffet. But with the restaurant nearly empty we politely asked for some sushi and it was made in front of our eyes. Clearly a troupe of Chinese tourists had been shown a dwindling presentation of food, and then hungry as they are enacted a coup - not knowing that being a buffet, the service would bring more as required. What unsettles me is that as a Westerner, I've learned that might is right in the markets, but in a 4 or 5 star restaurant some sense of decorum is required. The Social Media in China are right to be outraged - even given Thai mismanagement, I doubt Chinese tourists will be offered a similar buffet in the future after this - it will be modified somehow. Why are the Chinese so voracious? Are they going to descend on us like locusts? File this one under Chinese Skepticism.

I wholeheatedly agree Bubi! The financial crisis ,an infamy!, has impacted your toast eating habits! 1 egg = 1 toast - much like you I fail to see how this could be interpreted any other way. In similar fashion, I've received jam that I specifically asked to be omitted - in the most polite Thai, but again and again I've been thwarted. And whilst others might allow the toast to lie to waste on the battlefield of the plate - NO - you wage this war like a true soldier. Toast rage is an important problem. You object to the strawberry jam, then you pronounce war! Well this hasn't come about soon enough - war on toast! Enough provocations.

What McDang said - well it was innocuous enough at the time. But it was one of those things, that via some kind of automata in your memory, gets filed away, noted and there for further use at the appropriate time. I'd always liked McDang - he has an eagerness and enthusiasm that knows no bounds. Kind of like a Steve Irwin Crocodile Hunter of Thai cookery if you know what I mean. I'd watch his shows avidly, little knowing I subconsciously was onto something massive even at that premature stage. Thinking back - like most problems, the solution was extremely obvious in hindsight. But having said that - the 'McDang' Thai threesome method could not of existed of course - without McDang. I've road tested it over and over - I can only conclude that the McDang hypothesis is correct. A threesome with two of the hottest Thai babes, is a walk in the park once you know it. And of course this is how it all boils down, how you the whole thing works - ... Hang on - this calls for a fresh influx of Green Fairy. Back in two shakes of a mo...

I've been attempting to master the art of the threesome (me, two women) my whole adult life. I first got the taste when I was seventeen. Her parents away - her best friend on a mattress on the floor - me not meant to be there at all. Well, that was sweet - they were into each other and I just frittered away at the edges so to speak, taking what I could find. Another time 21, both girls liked me but didn't know each other. It was hard work, and the spark wasn't there. It was in Pattaya that I developed the rota system. I'd realised I was a neophyte, and I needed to get the real dope. I'd choose a really popular bar girl, then get her to invite all her friends back to mine (off the books). Like a bull stud I'd service them all in my sweet time. You see, suckers will bar fine two chicks, but you're really only doubling the price, because ultimately you're only getting half the time of each girl. Oh yeah - when you're at the bar they'll sell you a completely different story, but come home time - they'll be all modest and shy - and wouldn't even look at each other. What a sweet con. This was a conundrum. I'd pace around looking at all the angles. I'm not overly given to intellectual thought, but I was stumped on this. I knew psychology was key to all this, then I stopped dead! I knew exactly how I could piece it all together - to get the perfect threesome together. McDang! McDang! Oh you bloody genius McDang! It was something he showed me about Thai women a long time before. The idea of the Super Shag Dream Team was born. Where's that bottle of suds? Back in mo

So welcome to the club - I'm still a 'newbie', despite 10 years. Actually I've been composing a compilation of interesting fridge ditties, those long nights with me and just the fridge - and when the compressor kicks in, just saying... in case you're interested... Anyhow, stop sounding so mopey faced - sounds like you've had your fun, more than your fair share it seems. It might sound preposterous, but I admire you long timers, your heyday was brilliant, want to emulate it, but with a twist for the new millennium - a roll with the punches type conviviality - not unlike the intro to the UFC fights, a kind of bon viveur mentality with the exception of actually saying - I'm good - I hope they kick the shit out of each other. Well I certainly wish you well. We're all mopey faced with this resource slump - me included. Unfortunately my predictions are coming true - those motherfucking investors are running away & we've got no power to catch them. Brazil is in recession - the plague has extended to Europe, with Russia suffering as well. The currency war is escalating - a game were noone will decisively win - even the US is panicking about the rising Dollar. It's inevitable that you will have to hand it all over to my generation - death conveniently takes care of that - and what better hands? Well if I've got anything to do with it - I'll spend the rest of my career cleaning up your mess. Thanks for that. Most of all thanks for your whoring tips - but you never mentioned - well nevermind. I've had my fun too, and all too soon there will be some young prat saying = you fucked it all up. Just life. And if this didn't improve your mood - apologies for that. Anyhow - cheer up!!!!

The honest answer is that no matter how much I earn, it all gets frittered away. I don't regret it. I spent six months in Cambodia hooked on whores and ice. Do I regret one moment of it - I really honestly can't say i do. The heartbreaking thing was having to get another contract for $1000 a day and leave my little harem behind. I personally probably caused a small recession in Sanoukville. It was heartbreaking. I read this novel ( a really turgid novel) where this hippie whore compares her alcoholic boyfriends fall from grace with her never having any money save for the price she can sell her arse for. I did say it was turgid. Don't really know why I mentioned it really. Stash it away - don't make me laugh - there is nothing left to stash away for...

He'll ruin everything you are, now were - when he was alive it was were, but now its were. For ultimate confusion refer to "let's dance" - I haven't cried for so many years. RIP Bowie.

Man do I miss Bowie

Oil has dropped to twenty bucks - ray!!! - people are starting to think why not refine it our self territory. I don't like to say I told you so... Wall street just did an inverted backflip and wrote off about 3% - think about that - if you have an million in the bank (lol, as superannuated earnings lol) - you just lost $30,000 USD in cash. It's carnage on the trading floor... And John - I'm only dancing, (lol). http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/modicum Whahhhaaaayaaaayaaayaaaaayyaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaah the Gods must be crazy! Isn't this just grand? Everything is going to plan - fuck you all, this is - this is pull up an armchair and no doubt I'll snore through the most important bits - but by jesus motherloving christ this is going to be the ::::::?????

Hasn't he left the building already? I don't have the strength anymore to trudge over to that - just sad website he calls home. The decor, the supreme willfulness of it, to pretend to mask his identity, whilst sporting that awful Kiwi web page design = so passe. But as Cobain says I'm forever in debt for your priceless advise.

I forgot about 2016. I know it's useless, but a few predictions (in no particular order): as regards Thailand, the mad elephant is gleefully jumping on all fours, strotting as I think Douglas Adams coined it. The invisible hand is frotting the white fairy that will assume power in the event the candy prince falls off the wall. All lunatic nonsense of course - only conspiracy nuts would believe this, look no further to the TV, where, Miss Universe will appear as a scale model of the Grand Palace scuppering yet another chance; The Balkanisation of the middle east will continue. Hawks will promote a major conflict, possibly leading to a new cold war as Russia maneuvers. Oil will drop as low as $20 greatly benefiting economies around the world including Thailand. Iron ore price could see $10 as large mining companies attempt to shrug off competitors - thereby also shooting themselves in the foot. Meanwhile China has been as quietly as possible over the last five years been hoovering up as much gold production as possible. With the world in a dire currency war - China may float the Yuan (IMF included them in the SDR currency basket recently) - and here's the clever thing: back it with gold. Such a move would almost instantly make Renminbi the most sought after currency in the world. More likely to happen in 2020, but they could surprise us all in 2016. I would expect a broad appreciation in SE Asian currencies - perhaps to the extent of 15 Baht to the USD initially. Trump will be POTUS in 2016. In ten years from now we'll all be hunting rats with sticks. That's if we're lucky. There will be fifty massive gun shooting massacres in the USA. Schoolteachers and students to be provided with sidearms & training. The Thai Women's Volleyball team will win the gold medal at the 2016 Olympics - the local media will barely mention it... There will be significant moves in the legalization of certain drugs, particularly 'medical' marijuana. Smoking will continue to be stamped out, the last smokers will be harried, forlorn creatures. Terrorism will be rammed down our collective throats next year - under the guise of a 'war on terrorism'. Human rights will continue to be attacked as 'getting in the way of catching the bad guys'. Turkey is becoming more isolated, rapidly becoming the pariah of the international community - along with it's patron the grand 'ol USA which will play it down as usual. Turkey will certainly implode in some way next year, if not tomorrow.

Well it's that time of year again - a chance to review 2015 with a calm eye and try to see what 2016 has in store for us all, and particularly Thailand. Do we carry 2015 upstairs and smooth her brow and kiss her nighty night? Or do we duct tape her to a deck chair and kick her back down the stairs? Well I'll leave that up to you. Let's make a master reel of 2015 before we abandon it. I need your help because I've been hermetically sealed, no television - well Thai TV doesn't count, very limited forays on the internet, but I'll still climb on the news horse occasionally if only to watch it stumble blindly through a hedge and end up in the event's ditch. Firstly I'd like to say there isn't a huge elephant in the room, in order to get that out of the way. If you see it you are a conspiracy nut pure and simple. However to distract you, if you are an avid fan of Thai TV, and I only watch it for Nong Natt aka น้องà¹à¸™à¸— these days, there was a little competition called Miss Universe. Their strategy was impeccable - go to Lion City, Singburi the land of heroes, find a beautiful maiden and catapult her to stardom. Thailand last won Miss Universe in 1988, nigh nearly 30 years ago! Which for a country renowned for it's beautiful women (among other things) is preposterous. At this point they had it in the bag already. What do you think of when you imagine beautiful women and Thailand (well apart from that)? Beaches, great food, tropical vistas, impossible blue skies over rice paddies that stretch forever. You think of sanuk. On the wish list to forget are the scammers, the scammers, and the scammers that drive those pollution farting and belching tricycles endearingly called tuk tuks. So what do the geniuses behind the Miss Thailand do? In an ingenious leap of magnitude they manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by making her into a tuk tuk! Oh well back to the drawing board Thailand. The cowardly bombing of the Erawan shrine was a real low point. Tourism was already down but Thailand showed it's resilience. Has Stickman left the building? Haven't been following it, but good luck to Sticky! I guess New Zealand cried out to him - we need you Stickmeister! Thailand -1 : New Zealand 0 (wait this isn't adding up). The ahhh stitch up job law proceedings on the Koh Tao Murders is underway. Heart goes out to the family. The Queen of England gave her 'moments of darkness' speech. Is it just me, but living a whole life in the lap of luxury, why does she have to address the nation like she's just been forced to swallow three tablespoons of stale earwax? Well I'm a lazy bastard really, so I'm hoping board members will chip in, do we kick 2015 down the stairs or kiss it goodnight?

If you like the bird in the boxing gear you'll love 'Nong Natt' aka น้องà¹à¸™à¸— loL! Where's Flashy when you need him? Anyhow shake that box called the internet and surely something will fall out...